It is known that divorce has an impact on children that affect their mental and behavioral progress. Research shows that most kids with divorced parents have a complex personality that comes from a perplexing environment. Parent-child interaction suffers and results in a negative response due to the alarming development of a child’s emotional distress.
Children with divorced parents have encountered difficulty in understanding complex situations and ended up becoming more dependent on others. They eventually lose their self-esteem and develop an irregularity in social interaction and communication. During this time, they often see negative points of view and disregard positive variables on personal life enhancement. They find it hard to incorporate ideas and fail to process good behavior. They will demand emotional support and use it as a tool to get attention from the people around them. They have a lingering sympathology that affects their sense of equilibrium, hindering their ability to adapt to an altering environment.
What Children Try To Understand
According to Tiffany Lowther, MA, LMHC, “Divorce is emotional, and for most parents and certainly for their children, it is the most emotion they have ever experienced or confronted all at once.” Divorced parents often do not initiate a moment to explain to their child the reason for the separation. As a result, the child tries to speculate negative ideas and tries to blame himself. In fact, most cases of marital conflict leave the child out of the issue since both parents think that the subject should only revolve around them. In line with that, the child is left baffled and wondering why his parents have ended the relationship. He then builds a conclusion that something is wrong not only in the house but including the things that affect their whole bond as a family (and sometimes, kids often think that it started with them). They somehow push themselves to their limits and integrate an ideology that is not even related to the situation. Consequently, they try to establish an emotional boundary to understand why parents involve them in a devastating position.
Why Kids Can’t Handle Divorce
A child needs both his parents to support his mental and psychological growth. However, altering and stressing out the positive balance of his mind can create a huge problem in his development. It affects his capacity to understand situational issues that give him too much suffering in the emotional aspects. The child can suffer from extreme sadness that he often isolates himself. “There are several ways that parents unintentionally encourage kids to be in the middle of a divorce. Kids already feel this way organically because they’re caught between two warring parties, which sometimes results in them taking on adult-like responsibility and can damage them permanently from a developmental perspective.” Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC said.
Kids can’t handle divorce because they are too afraid to choose between their parents. They don’t want to become a burden because they somehow know the frightening process of adjustment that they need to undergo. Though children are unique, the common reason why they don’t like their parents to get separated is that they won’t be able to handle the emptiness they’ll feel. They don’t want to be alone and left out.
Kimberly Hackett, LMHC used to say, “The parent/child connection is our most precious and enduring relationship.” A child needs both of his parents to develop his wellbeing thoroughly, and if the process gets altered, he may lose all the chances to get a better mental and psychological development. As parents, it is their sole duty to let their kids understand the importance of balance and feed their child with emotional care.