Parenting Is Not All About You Doing Everything For Them

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This 2019 Parenting Event was helpful, but it cannot compare to the first-hand experience. I am a mother of five kids who was married for nineteen years and have been taking care of children for 23 years now. It is never easy to be a parent. There is no magic pill to do it. You just have to suck it up, breathe in positive vibes, and breathe out your worries. That is what I do every single day since I still have three kids who are below 18.

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Keeping Kids Busy During A Lockdown

Since the spread of COVID-19 diseases, all of us became homebound. That is because staying at home is our best precaution to avoid getting infected. And since the lockdown closes a lot of establishments, we, parents, are now dealing with our kids all day long unexpectedly. With all the exhaustions of keeping our kids safe and nurturing them at the same time, we need more resources. In this article, I am going to share with you some of the activities that will keep your kids busy and productive.

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Health And Fitness

For health and fitness activities, you and your kids can spend time exercising. You can choose exercises that are easy to follow. Well, it doesn’t have to be the same as the basic exercises you do at the gym, though. You can go for some stretching, yoga, as well as dance. You can always make it engaging by putting up some music to it. You can also build them an obstacle course inside the house with the use of kid-friendly materials such as pillows, carton boxes, plastic bottles, and so on. Or, if you like, you can also schedule them house chores that they can do every day, such as washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, flower the plants, and re-arranging the closet. Honestly, there are a lot of physical activities that fit children’s capability. As a parent, you just have to be creative.

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Entertainment

For the entertainment’s first choice, you and your kids can have fun watching movies together. There is a wide range of websites that offer suitable films in different categories that you can watch for free. If you already have subscriptions, you can select the best movie that you like based on you or the kids’ preference. But if you want to limit screen time, you can play board games. There is chess, snake and ladder, monopoly, etc. If you wish to activities that are less demanding of winning, then you and your kids can spend time doing art. Some of these can include drawing, painting, coloring, craft-making, and many more. Creating art will not only entertain your kids but also improves their mental and emotional strength. It is the best option since the whole lockdown situation is a nerve-racking experience for everyone. But if you want fun and engaging entertainment, you can always go for karaoke sing-along.

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Learning With Fun

Learning with fun is probably the most engaging type of activity that offers so many options. You and your kids will have time to bond together while enhancing skills. The kids can learn to cook. I assure you, your children will love the opportunity to get busy in the kitchen, along with your supervision. Not only can you encourage kids’ skills in meal-preparation, but it will also allow you to teach them the importance of healthy living. Or if your kids do not like the kitchen, you can go for other stuff like sewing and knitting, playing instruments, composing songs, and more. If you want a little more relaxed, then you can read some books. Not only is it entertaining, but it will also enhance your children’s vocabulary. The options are endless. As long as you understand what your kids want, you can always make the best choices for them.

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In choosing the best thing to do during this lockdown situation, you do not have to follow a structured-like activity. Besides, this lockdown pretty much seems like a holiday experience for the kids. As long as there are a lot of options, you and your kids can decide which and what activity suits best.

 

Mom And Daughter Bonding At The Symposium

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The 2017 Child and Parent Symposium is a vital symposium to enhance parent-child relationships. My mother is a child therapist, and when I had Zoe, she would always tell me, “Linda, you and Bella must attend our symposiums!” And so, we attended, after so many invites from her. But I had no regrets. My time and money were well-spent in that symposium.

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Bad Practices That Could Harm Your Children

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The consequences of the choices we make in life become heavier once we become parents. The habits we keep will affect not only us but also our children. The things we do around our kids may have lasting, adverse effects on them.

For the sake of our young ones, let’s look at some harmful practices we need to quit.

Destructive Conflict

Many parents will make the mistake of vowing not to fight in front of their kids. The reality is that it’s going to happen eventually. While this may sound like something that can harm your kids, it’s not actually all that bad. Arguments become harmful if you deal with conflict destructively.

We tend to picture parents fighting as two people yelling, throwing things, and lashing out at each other. This hostility can cause children to become troubled, anxious, and stressed. They tend to become insecure and withdrawn. For others, they act out and develop problems at school as well as at home.

Conversely, a better approach is to have a mature conversation where you discuss things like adults. Your children will also go through conflict throughout their life. They will need to learn how to deal with these situations appropriately and effectively.

Overreacting

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Have you ever wondered why kids don’t tell you things or why teenagers have to lie about what they do? Often, this stems from a fear of how their parents will react. Perhaps mom and dad found out about that broken plate and went ballistic.

It’s precisely this outburst of emotions that pushes them away from us. Overreacting to our children’s mistakes can make them fearful of us. Instead of coming to us for help or to open up, they’ll try their best to cover things up. This practice will only create kids who act out and are quick to become upset.

Before you get angry over spilled milk or a broken vase, get down and help your kid clean up. Teach them how to be more cautious, but don’t blow up over small things such as this. Otherwise, they’ll be too scared of making mistakes.

Hiding Your Emotions

While we mentioned that it could be harmful to overreact, that doesn’t mean that you should mask your emotions either. While you shouldn’t yell at your kids over small things, it doesn’t help to lie about how you feel. This practice will make them confused about their feelings. 

Show your kids your sentiments and how to deal with them. If you experience loss, teach them that it’s okay to be sad. Being positive all the time can be harmful because it sets an unreasonable standard of happiness. It is not the only emotion we should be allowed to feel.

Trying To Solve Everything

As hard as it is to resist, parents have to stop trying to be superheroes to their kids. We shouldn’t try to solve everything for our children.

This practice will do nothing but teach them that we will deal with every road bump they face. As much as we want to be the people they run to for help, they may become too dependent.

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Instead of swooping in all the time, teach them how to deal with problems and conflict. It’s another one of those situations where the “teach a man how to fish” saying comes into play.

The things we do around our kids will leave lasting effects on them until their adulthood. As parents, we have to do our best, even if it means breaking bad habits that are hard to quit. The sooner we kick these types of behavior to the curb, the better mothers and fathers we can be.

 

A Guide On How Parents Should Handle Failing Grades

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Most parents’ first instinct when they see a failing grade is to yell and punish their child. However, this strategy might cause more harm than good. As parents, you should be sensitive in dealing with these kinds of situations since your children are at a stage where they’re still capable of holding grudges. Although a bad grade is a red flag for a potential child concern, it does not measure your kid’s overall worth.

Listed below are some of the tips on dealing with bad report card grades to help parents like you who are still unsure of what tactic to use in these kinds of situations.

Praise Your Child

Do not just focus on the negatives. Make sure that you still acknowledge their well-mannered attitude, good attendance, and high grades in some subjects. Tell them that they have done an excellent job and that they have made you proud. This strategy will give your children a boost of confidence and will inspire them to do better in the areas that they have not excelled in.

Understand The Grading System

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Before reacting, ensure that you have read and fully understood what the numbers and letters in the report card are all about. Each school has its way of grading their students. They have different grade ranges and cut-off failing grades. Knowing the ins and outs of the grading system will give you a brief idea of how good or bad the situation of your kid is.

Schedule A Consultation Time With Your Child

Yes, it might be tempting for you to air your concerns once your child shows you his or her report card. However, this might not be for the best. If you express your frustrations on a heated moment, chances are you’ll only offend your child and result in a screaming match. Nothing productive will come of this situation.

What you can do is to wait until both you and your kid have calmed down a little bit and schedule your consultation time. You may opt to talk with him or her after dinner or after he or she is done doing homework.

Calmly Discuss

Take note that kids do not absorb lectures. Instead, they are more receptive to open discussions. You can start your talk by asking them what they think happened and what kinds of problems led to this situation. From here, you can then come up with specific strategies which will help them overcome their challenges.

For example, your kid tells you that their teacher talks too fast, and he or she cannot understand what they are saying. Knowing this, you can phone the teacher and air this concern to him or her.

Identify Motivational Patterns

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Do not punish poor grades; instead, identify their motivational patterns and bank on this. Let’s say that they are visual learners. Your best approach in this situation is to create PowerPoint presentations or let them read books with a lot of pictures so that it will be easier for them to absorb the topics.

For every failing grade, there is most likely something that you, as a parent, can do to improve the situation. Don’t be caught up with your emotions. Take the time to listen to them, analyze the case, and slowly address the problems. Letting your child know that you are still there as a support system will build their confidence, which will more likely translate to an excellent performance in school.

Tips For Parents In Managing Parent–Teacher Conferences

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In the middle of the school year, teachers usually invite parents to discuss their child’s accomplishments and areas of improvement. These are called parent–teacher conferences, and they typically happen after releasing the report cards of the students. No matter how important these initiatives are, some parents do not attend these conferences because they do not know what to do in these situations.

In here, we will provide you with tips on how to make the most out of these meetings.

Talk To Your Child Beforehand

Before you attend the parent–teacher conference, you have to set an open discussion with your child to talk about the problems they are experiencing in school. This exercise will allow you to see your child’s perspective to represent his or her interest in the meeting better. Your conversation can also be an avenue for you to set academic and co-curricular goals with your child come the next school days.

Be Prepared

Do not entirely rely on the things the teacher will present to you. You also have to investigate on your own by checking their grades and performance beforehand. You can do this by reading the comments on the report card or viewing the school’s student portal. Make sure to research and study what the academic benchmarks should be depending on your child’s school level and cross-check this with what they’re doing in school.

In addition, come up with a list of questions you can ask the teacher so that you can have a better picture of your child’s performance. Some of these include the following:

  • Does my child submit his homework on time?
  • Does my child actively participate in all of his classes?
  • What are my kid’s weakest and strongest subjects? How do you say so?
  • Is my child happy at school, or do you feel that some issues are bothering him?
  • What can I do to improve his school performance?
  • Does my child get along with his classmates?

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Treat The Teacher As A Confidant Instead Of An Opponent

Some parents tend to be defensive when teachers bring out concerns about their child. They display this kind of combative mindset because they passionately want their children to achieve their goal. But to help your child, you have to stop treating the teacher as an opponent. Instead, consider him or her as a partner. Come up with ways which can help your child get the best education opportunities for his growth and success.

Execute The Action Plan

Make sure to immediately implement the action plan you agreed on with the teacher. Discuss this with your child and make him or her understand its importance. You also have to set up key performance indicators and track his or her progress through this.

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Communicate With The Teacher

Your partnership does not stop after the parent–teacher conference. Make sure that you still stay in touch with the teacher throughout the school year and regularly schedule checkup sessions where you can discuss the student’s growth.

Not all parent–teacher meetings are structured the same way. However, you can apply all of the points listed above to every conference no matter what your child’s grade level or age is.

 

How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Children

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Being a parent is a tough role. Most parents balance everything from work to household chores, paying the bills, and more. Despite the exhaustion and sacrifices, they still choose to move forward because of their children. As parents, we only want the best for our children. However, working hard and giving them material things are not enough. What children seek the most is the company and love of their parents. Thus, you need to make sure to improve your relationship with your children if you wish for them to grow up well.

What Happens If I Don’t Improve Our Relationship?

In several studies, psychologists have found that during the early stages of a child’s development, they become dependent on their parents. The development of their brain is mainly affected by the love and attachment they receive from their primary guardian. Neglect of children has been linked to several mental health issues as well as decrease in their overall potential and happiness. These studies show that parenting plays a vital role in the development and growth of children.

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Early attachment plays a significant role in predicting the future development of a child. In most researches, devotion is a good indicator of their long-term well-being. Curiosity, sociability, and social development are some factors that contribute to an excellent attachment to your children. Lack of this attachment at an early stage of growth often results in behavioral and emotional problems, as well as stress disorders. Thus, as parents, it is necessary to watch over the progress of your children to ensure their healthy growth.

How To Improve Our Relationship

In hopes of helping our children grow up healthy, it is crucial to establish a good relationship with them. Below are some ways to improve your relationship with your children.

  1. Be present. There are times when they seek company. Refusing to see them or spend time with them will only hurt their feelings. Take the time to show up on important moments of their lives (graduation, doctor visits, etc.). These will serve as valuable memories they will treasure.
  2. Make lots of memories together. There are simple ways to create such memories. You can have dinner every night together. You can also try going on vacations during the holidays. Even playing with them as kids is a memory they’ll never forget. Let these serve as things they can reminisce in the future.
  3. Respect their choices. Take the time to listen to them. They may have plans for themselves that are different from what you have initially set out for them. Don’t let this bother you; instead, learn to understand them and respect their choices. Support and guide them.
  4. Prioritize your children. Make your children feel secure by making them your priority. It is essential to take note of the little details. Maybe they are going through rough times, but you’re too busy to notice because of all your work.
  5. Let them know you love them. Make your children feel loved. Sometimes, actions may not be enough. Don’t be shy and tell them you love them. Assurance is an essential factor that builds up trust and improves your relationship.

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Never neglect your children. They won’t stay as kids forever. Sooner or later, they’ll grow up and eventually leave you. Make sure that before they go, they’re the best version of themselves.

 

A Guide On How Parents Should Handle Failing Grades

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Most parents’ first instinct when they see a failing grade is to yell and punish their child. However, this strategy might cause more harm than good. As parents, you should be sensitive in dealing with these kinds of situations since your children are at a stage where they’re still capable of holding grudges. Although a bad grade is a red flag for a potential child concern, it does not measure your kid’s overall worth.

Listed below are some of the tips on dealing with bad report card grades to help parents like you who are still unsure of what tactic to use in these kinds of situations.

Praise Your Child

Do not just focus on the negatives. Make sure that you still acknowledge their well-mannered attitude, good attendance, and high grades in some subjects. Tell them that they have done an excellent job and that they have made you proud. This strategy will give your children a boost of confidence and will inspire them to do better in the areas that they have not excelled in.

Understand The Grading System

Before reacting, ensure that you have read and fully understood what the numbers and letters in the report card are all about. Each school has its way of grading their students. They have different grade ranges and cut-off failing grades. Knowing the ins and outs of the grading system will give you a brief idea of how good or bad the situation of your kid is.

 Source: pexels.com

Schedule A Consultation Time With Your Child

Yes, it might be tempting for you to air your concerns once your child shows you his or her report card. However, this might not be for the best. If you express your frustrations on a heated moment, chances are you’ll only offend your child and result in a screaming match. Nothing productive will come of this situation.

What you can do is to wait until both you and your kid have calmed down a little bit and schedule your consultation time. You may opt to talk with him or her after dinner or after he or she is done doing homework.

Calmly Discuss

Take note that kids do not absorb lectures. Instead, they are more receptive to open discussions. You can start your talk by asking them what they think happened and what kinds of problems led to this situation. From here, you can then come up with specific strategies which will help them overcome their challenges.

For example, your kid tells you that their teacher talks too fast, and he or she cannot understand what they are saying. Knowing this, you can phone the teacher and air this concern to him or her.

 Source: pexels.com

Identify Motivational Patterns

Do not punish poor grades; instead, identify their motivational patterns and bank on this. Let’s say that they are visual learners. Your best approach in this situation is to create PowerPoint presentations or let them read books with a lot of pictures so that it will be easier for them to absorb the topics.

For every failing grade, there is most likely something that you, as a parent, can do to improve the situation. Don’t be caught up with your emotions. Take the time to listen to them, analyze the case, and slowly address the problems. Letting your child know that you are still there as a support system will build their confidence, which will more likely translate to an excellent performance in school.

 

Family Therapist Urges Us To Know Our Kid’s Temperament

Every kid comes with their personality. Each of them has their ways of approaching people and situations. Family therapists encourage parents to study their children’s temperaments because it describes the child’s adaptability and emotional style. Parents can adapt their parenting style to their child’s personalities.

Why Parents Should Learn About Temperaments

Parents will be able to strategize the best way to connect and handle their children. It also gives them a firmer grasp of their kid’s personality, and parents will appreciate the uniqueness of their child.

With a more in-depth understanding, they can better deal with their child’s skills and limitations. Parents who are aware of their child’s temperament are more prepared in anticipating problems that might trigger the child. They can help the child by guiding and readying him for the challenge he or she will face.

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Temperament

Temperament is a group of innate traits that influence how people approach the world. It is a necessary tool in the development of a child’s personality. It also dictates how children will learn and absorb the world around him. Temperaments do not dictate whether a child is “good” or “bad.” Instead, it influences the child’s perception of whether his actions are “good” or “bad.”

In identifying, your child’s temperament, we look at the nine significant characteristics that signify whether a child is difficult to raise.

Activity Level

This identifier is the level of physical activity and restlessness demonstrated in the child’s behavior based on his daily activities. You may observe if the child can settle down with a quiet, sedentary game. If he is more inclined to play sports, then he has high activity levels. Highly active children can grow their careers in fast-paced environments.

Regularity

Regularity or rhythmicity describes the patterns in the child’s physical functions. This trait is evident in the child’s appetite, sleep patterns, and even bowel movements. For example, parents can anticipate when their child gets hungry throughout the day. Children who do not have predictable habits can grow and thrive in careers with unusual working hours.

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Approach And Withdrawal

This trait determines a child’s initial response to new stimuli. The child may either react rapidly or hesitantly to unfamiliar situations, new people, places, or food. Children who are cautious of strange scenarios tend to think before they act.

Adaptability

Adaptability focuses on how the child responds to changes in routine or transitions. This characteristic enlightens parents on the degree of ease or difficulty with which a child adjusts to new situations. It also involves the child’s ability to modify their reaction towards the change. Children who take a longer time to become comfortable in new cases grow to be less influenced by peer pressure.

Intensity

The child either responds positively or negatively to certain situations. Intensity is the level of energy the child reacts to events. For example, parents can observe when their child gets upset. Does the child tend to get quiet, or do they respond dramatically? More intense children may be gifted with a talent for the arts and may be more in touch with their emotions.

Mood

The degree of pleasantness or unfriendliness observed in a child’s words or behaviors determines their mood. For example, children can view opportunities as half full or half empty. Parents can decide if their child is inclined to look at life more negatively or more positively. Thoughtful children tend to assess situations analytically and carefully.

Attention Span

Attention span or persistence is the ability of the child to concentrate on a task with or without distraction. Children with longer attention spans can focus more compared to those who cannot focus on the task at hand.

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Distractibility

Distractibility is the ease with which a child can concentrate and pay attention when they are not particularly interested in the activity. Some children are easily distracted from a task by environmental stimuli, whether visual or auditory. A child with high distractibility is favorable as the child’s attention can be diverted from unwanted behavior. In a negative light, high distractibility prevents a child from accomplishing assignments.

Sensory Threshold

The sensory threshold is the child’s sensitivity to stimuli like sound, taste, touch, or temperature. It determines what amount of physical stimulation is needed for a child to respond. Some children react with the slightest stimulation, while others need intense amounts of stimuli.

Temperaments help parents get a glimpse of their kid’s personality, triggers, strengths, and weaknesses. Parents can capitalize on these dispositions by guiding and teaching them how to deal with adversities and challenges properly. They can steer kids in the right direction and become people who can adjust to the environment surrounding them.

How To Be The Best Parent Ever

The moment you become a parent, everything in your life suddenly changes. You will be surprised by how your priorities can change in an instant. You also become selfless because all that would matter is your child’s best interest. You want nothing but to provide him with everything – basically a wonderful and beautiful life. However, according to a study conducted by a psychologist, it is not an easy thing to do especially when some factors are out of your control. Nonetheless, you must not give up easily because there are tons of ways on how you can become the best parent to your kid.

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Here are some of the things to keep in mind:

 

Make Time For Your Child

 

No matter how demanding your work or business is, be sure to never replace your family with it. Take note that no amount of money can make you buy a second or a minute of time. Even if you are the richest person in this world, you can never bring back time. As such, it is crucial that you always prioritize spending quality time with your kid. Never make him doubt about your love and care for him. At the same time, avoid giving him an opportunity to seek comfort from other people who cannot be trusted or who only have bad intentions for him.

 

Show Your Love And Affection

 

In connection with the item discussed above, you must see to it that you will never fail to remind your kid how much he means to you. Let him know that you love him by using kind words when talking to him or caring for his day-to-day needs. As much as possible, avoid leaving his care to some random people or even nannies. Keep in mind that what he needs is your full attention. Every night before he goes to sleep, make sure to tell him sweet words like “I love you” or “I care for you.” These things can make him feel that he is a well-loved individual. It can positively affect his growth.

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Teach Him Life Lessons

 

As a parent, it is only typical for you to aim that he develops into a mature and loving individual. An excellent way of making this happen is to teach him life lessons every now and then. Take note that every situation with your child presents an opportunity for learning. Do not spoil your child with toys or material things. Instead, focus on teaching him the correct values that can shape him to becoming a better person. Always remember that your parenting style can be reflected in who your child is going to become when he grows up. Hence, it is vital for you to see to it that he knows what is wrong and evil.

 

Give Room For Error

 

Never pressure your child into becoming a perfect individual because it can only drive him away from you. The right thing to do is to understand that he is only a kid and has little idea on how to live life. It is the primary reason why your guidance and assistance are essential during his childhood. Whenever he commits a mistake, do not get angry right away or nag for the whole day to make him feel bad. Instead, talk to him about why what he did was wrong and make him understand that he shall never do it again. Be a loving parent who can accept his mistakes.

 

Go On Vacation With Him

 

Another parenting tip that you must never forget is to go on a vacation with him. This method of spending more time with him will help not only your child but also yourself. Keep in mind that you also deserve to relax and rest. It is okay to get exhausted about becoming a parent because you are only human. Hence, be brave to take a break from whatever keeps you busy in the city and go out of town with your family. Do whatever it takes to chill so that you can recharge and become a better version of yourself the moment you come back. Explore beautiful places together.

 

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Becoming a parent is an opportunity that you must enjoy and love. Always remember that there is nothing in this world that you could not do as a mother or father!