Watching My Friend Interact With Her Mom At Her Wedding Was Therapy Enough

Four months ago, one of my old middle school best friends, Samara, announced that her wedding date was set for the last week of July 2021. What’s more was that she wanted our two other gal pals and me to become her bridesmaids. Of course, we readily agreed and started preparing for such an exciting event.

The one thing that none of us were able to prepare for was our friend’s mother, who would always start crying whenever you mentioned anything about her daughter getting married. It seemed funny at first, you know – someone having trigger words. However, the mom explained that the tears were because she was happy that her kindest daughter was about to settle down.

Then, it was our turn to recall how their lives evolved because Samara did not turn her back on her family.

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The Back Story

I met Samara in an exclusive middle school. She was smart, but it was also obvious that she belonged to a lower-class family based on her clothes and packed lunches. I eventually learned that she got in through a scholarship grant and that her mother could barely afford to feed all her six kids with her waitressing jobs.

While many students stayed away from Samara, I did not. My parents taught me early that people who wanted to succeed in life were better friends than those who merely wanted to spend their family’s wealth. Soon enough, our friendship circle expanded, and we would always stick together.

What I noticed in Samara throughout the years was that she was wise and proud (in a good way). Since fine-dining restaurants were out of the question, Samara introduced us to various unique restaurants with great food and low prices. If we needed to go on a trip, we found it best to let her know months prior because Samara would never let us pay for her.

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After college, Samara’s primary priority was her family. There were occasions when we could not get ahold of her because she no longer had money to spend on herself. Most – if not all – of her salary went to the house she shared with her mom and five other siblings. Samara even helped pay for her brothers and sisters’ college education, which was beyond incredible.

Then, a few years later, Samara met John. He did not come from money as well, but it was evident from the start that he was a hard-working guy. Their relationship deepened and went on for years until we all heard one day that they got engaged.

The Wedding Day

It took Samara and John six months to prepare for their wedding. They took their sweet time because John said that our friend deserved nothing but the best. (Isn’t that amazing?!)

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On the actual wedding day, tears flowed freely down everyone’s cheeks when Samara’s mom hugged her and her groom. She clapped the loudest when the priest announced them as husband and wife. She was also all smiles during the pictorial, even if tears possibly made it impossible for her to see anything. But it was during the wedding reception that people cried as hard as Samara’s mom did.

You see, the emcee asked the newly married couple to dance with their parents. The groom started it off with his mother. The bride was technically supposed to dance with her father, but he passed away years ago, so Samara asked her mother to dance with her instead.

As they were dancing, the emcee read a letter from Samara to her mother. It practically said how much she adored her mom’s strength and resilience through the years as she took care of six kids on her own. Samara’s letter ended with her hoping to become at least half as good as her once it’s her turn to have children.

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Someone had to be made of stone to not feel for Samara and her mom. Some people were dabbing napkins on their eyes when I looked around, while others were still sobbing. It was such a beautiful moment shared between them, and we were all lucky to be spectators when it happened.

Why It’s Therapeutic

Watching Samara’s interaction with her mother on her wedding day was therapeutic, in the sense that it was uncommon these days to see such love between an adult child and a parent. That’s especially true during a wedding where the primary focus should be the bride and groom. In this case, though, they made sure to show their appreciation towards the parents who looked after them for decades before officially moving on to the next chapter of their lives.

Though I always had a sweet relationship with my mom and dad, that made me want to be closer to them and remind them every day how much they meant to me. And if you don’t get along well with your parents, my dear reader, please settle all your differences so that you can also have beautiful moments like Samara and her mom.

Therapists Explain Why Parents Cry At The Children’s Weddings

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When I was still single, my parents were always joking about which one of them would cry first once I got married. My mom would often say that my dad was a big softie, so it would not come as a shock if he cried first. However, my dad would argue that my mom spent more time with me while growing up because he was busy working.

Years passed, and I eventually found the man that I wanted to spend forever with. My parents loved John like their own and were so excited when we told them that we planned to tie the knot in four months. They even helped out with the preparations and offered their backyard for the wedding reception. During that, I did not see a single tear shed.

The thing was, on the day of my wedding, my parents stayed in the bridal car with me. They were both still calm and poised throughout the ride. But then, once the car stopped in front of the church and the coordinator told us that we could come out, I noticed that my parents grew quiet at the same time. I looked at them and soul that they both had their tissues out as they tried to hold back their tears.

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In hindsight, I knew that my parents did not want to cry on my special day because they did not want to attract attention to them. They wanted the guests to focus on me on such a happy occasion. Despite that, I could also imagine the mixed emotions they must have been feeling at that moment.

My parents and I hugged and cried for a few minutes outside of the church door. My makeup artist had to touch up our faces so that the guests could not see our tears. But then, when we were walking, I saw that my groom’s parents were waiting with him near the altar, and they were all crying, too.

It was undoubtedly a day full of tears, as my dad wisely said during his toast at the reception. He added, “Parents like us spent our entire lives preparing our kids for lives of their own. Now that it is happening, we cannot help but cry since we are both happy and sad to see them go.”

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Why Parents Cry At Weddings

My wedding reception ended, and my husband and I were on our way to the airport, and I would still let out a little sob whenever I thought of my dad’s words. I guess I could not fully understand them since I was not a parent yet, but I felt for my parents. As much as they loved John and wanted me to be happy, a part of them must also be upset as I would build a family of my own.

My husband, who was conveniently a therapist, explained mom and dad’s emotions. He said, “Your parents tend to feel like they have been robbed of a daughter, even if they gave us our full blessing from the start. Especially in your case, you are an only child, so your mom and dad may be lost as to what they are supposed to do in life now that you are leaving their nest for good.”

“But I just got married. I’m not dying!” I retorted, surprised.

My husband laughed. “No, honey, you are not. Despite that, a wedding can make parents feel like they have lost their kid somehow. After all, you will adopt my last name now, and you won’t need them as much as before. Also, our decisions will only involve the two of us, not them.”

“Do you think mom and dad will ever be able to get over it?” I asked.

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“Yes, of course. However, they may go through some sort of grieving process for the first few days or weeks. When my eldest sister got married before, mom would always visit her empty room and cry on her bed. As time passed, though, and their first grandchild arrived, they feel renewed. There is another kid they can dote on and guide in life, and they become very much okay with seeing their daughter as a married woman.”

Final Thoughts

Now that John and I have a two-year-old daughter, I finally understand parents who cry at their kids’ weddings. We are incredibly close as a family; we always do things together. But I sometimes look at her and start feeling sad as I envision her growing up. If thinking of my daughter going off to college makes me want to cry and hold on to her, how much more when she comes home and tells us that she’s engaged to be married?

Nevertheless, as my husband reminded me, growing up is inevitable for anyone. All we can do as parents is nurture the kids and make sure they are ready for adulthood and whatever challenge comes with it. As much as I have accepted that, though, I know I will be bawling once my daughter gets married.

How Counseling Can Help In Family Problems

Every family has its issues. But some problems can get to the point of needing professional intervention. Even if what you’re dealing with isn’t that severe, getting a counselor for your family is never a bad idea. It can help restore and even improve family relationships.

The definition of the family goes beyond blood relation or cohabitation. Families must also serve as someone’s source of love and support. This is why family conflicts affect all the other aspects of people’s lives: family dynamics shape people’s attitudes and behaviors. 

For instance, fighting with your parents momentarily distorts your perception of parents. If this goes on unresolved for years, your perception becomes fixed.

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The most common family issues are communication issues and constant arguing. These may seem like what all families go through at first. But when these issues aren’t resolved, they can get worse in time. For instance, constant arguing between parents may lead to their children’s trauma. This can negatively affect their academic performance and social life. 

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for family issues. Different families have unique dynamics. Because of this, we need to “customize” counseling approaches. Family counselors need to come up with solutions according to the family’s needs. With this in mind, what are the different types of family counseling? Which of these approaches would be suitable for your family dynamic?  

One type of counseling is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT). This aims to help families improve relationships through better communication and problem-solving skills. In this type of therapy, the counselor prioritizes coming up with solutions. The counselor doesn’t go through old problems, so it doesn’t bring up past trauma. So, how exactly does SFBT work?

How Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Works

In arguments, it’s common for family members to blame each other and dwell on what should have been. These seemingly small arguments can lead to their children’s resentment. This may even cause a bigger family dysfunction. SFBT focuses on finding appropriate solutions for addressing the issues at hand.

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Traditional psychotherapy offers fixed solutions for specific types of problems. But psychotherapists Steve De Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg came up with alternatives. They were more interested in paying attention to what people currently need. This led them to develop and come up with SFBT. 

SFBT takes a postmodern approach. They believe that the truth is in whatever the client presents. In this type of therapy, the assumption is that the client knows better than the therapist. Another belief is that families already have the skills to solve their problems. In SFBT, the therapist helps families unlock these skills. The therapist makes them see their problems from a different perspective.

Not only does SBFT reconstruct perspectives, but it also helps families try other solutions. If the current strategy isn’t working, they can always try something else. Here are some of the tools and techniques that SFBT therapists use in their sessions:

  1. Goal development questions. SFBT therapists ask the families questions such as “What do you want to achieve from this therapy?” The families are then asked to describe what their life would be like upon achieving their goals. This is done before exploring the family’s problem-solving skills.
  2. Looking for previous solutions. As families are believed to have the skills for solving problems, they proceed to look back on the past. To rediscover their problem-solving skills, therapists may ask questions like, “Are there times when this has been less of a problem?”. Another question may b,e “what did you (or others) do that was helpful?, or “when was the last time when something like this (client’s goal description) happened?
  3. Present and future-focused questions. SBFT avoids dwelling on the past or the origin of problems. The therapist focuses on the family’s current situation and planning future actions. An example of this question is, “What will you be doing in the next few weeks that would tell you that you are making progress?
  4. Coping questions. Coping questions are useful for reminding clients of their resiliency. Some examples of these questions are, “how have you managed to carry on?” or “how have you managed to prevent things from becoming worse?

SBFT relies on collaboration. From goal-setting to implementing solutions, the therapist and the family work closely together. The family is more likely to follow through with strategies if they’re the ones who developed them. Needless to say, the participation of the family is integral to the process.

Other Types Of Counseling For Your Family

SBFT is effective in addressing a broad range of family problems. But if you think that SBFT does not suffice, then you can always switch your approach. There are other types of counseling that focus on specific types of problems.

One of these types of family counseling is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). This approach addresses children’s behavioral problems. It involves encouraging and coaching parents or caregivers on interacting with their children. PCIT has proven to be effective for abused and at-risk children. This therapy has also helped children with disabilities and mental health concerns.

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In healing early childhood trauma,  Family Attachment Narrative Therapy is also an option. In this type of therapy, counselors train parents or caregivers. They construct narratives that will help in the child’s healing process. This method improves the quality of bonds. Children also learn how to reframe their perspectives in life. They remove their negative perceptions. It might also help cope with the long-term effects of childhood trauma.

There is no such thing as a “perfect” family. All families go through rough patches. Sometimes, it takes a lot of time to heal. It is by actively seeking solutions to these problems that family relationships strengthen. Getting a family counselor eases the process of resolving issues. Through guidance and coaching, families can find healing and restoration of relationships. 

If you are currently going through issues, remember that things can get better. With the right tools, your relationship with your family will improve. To know more about family counseling, contact your local mental healthcare provider. Discuss different options and programs that would suit you and your family’s needs.

What Can Parents Learn In Counseling Sessions?

Being a parent is a rewarding experience. As your child explores the wonders that this world has, you get to experience it with them. But sometimes, the stress from being a hands-on parent for your child can be overwhelming. In times of trouble, you turn to your friends for support or get some tips from parenting self-help books.

What if your circle of friends is too busy? What if all the self-help books you came across aren’t all that helpful? This is when parent counseling comes in: a parent counselor helps you explore parenthood and dig deeper. Read on to know more about undergoing parent counseling and how this can benefit you and your family.

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What Is Parent Counseling?

Parent counseling provides knowledge and skills for parenthood. It aims to equip parents with the right tools to become better parents. Parent counseling helps establish a space conducive to growth in the family. When parents use what they learn from counseling, they handle family conflicts better. They become more patient, understanding, and empathic.

While family counseling is about the group dynamic, parent counseling highlights parental influence. Parent counseling addresses issues such as marital problems and struggles with having children. It also digs deep into family histories. Parent counseling tackles abuse and violence, grief and loss, addiction, and other struggles.

Parenting issues are viewed to have significant effects on the family members’ lives. Dealing with these problems is essential in keeping harmony in the family.

Benefits Of Undergoing Parent Counseling

Parent counseling tackles a lot of problems that parents are facing. Aside from keeping harmony within the family, parents go a level deeper when they undergo counseling sessions. Some benefits of going through parent counseling are learning about your parenting style, getting to know your child better, and discussing the pressure of being a parent. Read on to find out more about these benefits.

Learning About Your Parenting Style

No two parents are alike. It’s essential to know what category of parenting style you belong to. This is for fostering a healthy growing environment for your child. There are four major types of parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.

Each style of parenting entails a different view on how to rear and raise a child. Understanding parenting styles help parents communicate better with their children. Counseling can help parents optimize the pros of their parenting style. Likewise, counselors can teach parents to adopt healthier parenting techniques. This is to ensure improvement in parent-child dynamics.

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Getting To Know Your Child Better

Children have their own way of expressing their identity and beliefs. Most of the time, the unresolved issues of children push them to become distant. This might lead to communication problems and friction in the family. Counseling can help parents have a deeper understanding of their children. Parents can create more compelling ways to converse with their children.

Discussing The Pressure Of Being A Parent

While being a parent has its share of beautiful moments, it also poses a lot of pressure on parents. You’re expected to provide for your child and give them a tremendous amount of love and support. Unfortunately, these demands can be overwhelming. Many parents fail to cope, and in turn, feel parenting stress

Counselors can help parents deal with stress coming from parenthood. With the right tools for stress management, parents can develop a better mindset. They can learn to deal with troubles well and maintain composure.

Handling Conflicts Better

In a family, conflicts are normal. Each person has their own identity, and it’s normal to have clashing beliefs and ideas. Through counseling, parents can develop their conflict resolution skills and communication skills. Parents learn to be calm in times of tension. They learn to be objective and find common ground or resolution for all that are involved.

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Coping With Huge Changes

There are life changes that significantly affect a family’s dynamics. Some examples are divorce, moving out, or death. Going through these changes can be stressful not only for the parents but more for the children. As the heads of the family, parents must be present to their children through change.

However, humans can only bear the pain for so long, and parents can also feel drained. Counseling sessions can aid parents in handling monumental changes. Counselors can teach parents to deal with grief and relationship issues.

Addressing Alcohol Or Substance Abuse

Alcoholism and substance abuse are problems that involve the whole family. A family member’s addiction affects everyone in the family. Active involvement is critical in monitoring children’s behavior towards different vices. Counselors can assist in finding ways to prevent substance abuse within the family. They can teach parents to detect early signs of addiction and prevent severe cases. 

Counselors can also inform parents about healthy coping mechanisms. Counselors can teach parents to deal with family members who are suffering or recovering from addiction. They can help create an environment that’s conducive to healing and recovery.

Parenthood has so many demands and responsibilities. You have to juggle a multitude of things all at the same time. It would be best if you have all the support that you can get.

Counseling sessions allow parents to have a moment for themselves. They take a moment to gather themselves, assess everything happening with their family, and continue to handle parenthood through the guidance of the counselors. Through this practice, they can fulfill their responsibilities as a parent to their family and be kinder to themselves. 

Frequently Asked Questions About Memes’ Relatability

Whenever my cousins and I would reminisce about the old days, there was never a time when they would not mention my indifferent phase. Apparently, it started even before I knew how to read or write. The first instance when they realized it was when my mother scolded me over something and made me stay at the porch to think about my actions. Then, one of the older cousins said that she saw me there all afternoon, and I never once cried or asked my mother to let me back in the house. She added that I only went in when my father came home from work.

 In reality, I had zero recollection of what my mother and I disagreed on at the time that required such punishment. What I knew while growing up was that I had always been full of pride. When I see that I am right, I will not apologize or say yes to make others feel better. I would also not admit to being wrong when I knew that the others were wrong. Hence, I assume that that’s the same issue in the past.

 Nobody was aware that I began to feel hatred towards my parents from eight years old. Around that age, kids tend to remember and notice everything. I saw back then that even when my sister, who was two years younger than me, was at fault, I had to apologize to her whenever she cried. Even if her actions hurt me, I had no choice but to forgive her or let her do whatever she wanted with my toys. And if I ever got mad, my parents would scold me for not being cool enough.

My hate towards my mom and dad peaked when they allowed my sister to go on a field trip independently. Before reaching the grade level that could go on field trips, my parents always insisted that she go with me. Otherwise, I would not be able to participate. Even if I wanted to have fun with my friends by myself, I had no choice but to let her tag along then. But once my sister had the chance to go on the field trip, she was allowed to go by herself.

It made me wonder back then if my parents trusted my sister more than me. If that was the case, what did I do to make them feel that way? If it was not, then what was it? After all, I was a straight-A student. I was technically more competent than my sister; I was in more organizations than her. I was also generally more reliable and never lied to them about anything else (other than my hate for them, of course). Because of that, when I finally had enough, I screamed at the top of my lungs that I wished I was dead so that I would not have to see any of them again.

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 Shaking The Family Dynamics

 My outburst shocked my parents to the core. I could tell that that’s what happened because they did not even manage to blink or say anything for 10 whole minutes. I honestly expected them to ground me or scold me for hours, but neither took place. Once my mother got over the initial shock, though, she went up to pick up the phone and dialed my only aunt’s number. Aunt Tilly was a child psychologist, you see, and she came right away with a set of questionnaires for me. When I asked what those are for, she said that they were written scales for kids who might have depression.

My answers to the questionnaire genuinely helped the child psychologist to diagnose me with depression. No one knew what to do with me because I refused to cooperate with anyone. That was until I fired up our old computer, got on the internet, and saw my first depression meme. It somehow normalized my condition and helped me realize that other people had the same disorder, too.

What is a meme?

A meme is a visual representation of a person’s idea regarding any topic. The thing is, there is no limitation as to what type of idea anyone can turn into a meme. Some may use facts; others may use their opinions.

What makes depression memes popular?

Depression memes are most popular due to their relatability. If you have not seen one, you must know that a depression meme typically contains observations, opinions, or jokes of the creator.

What is the difference between GIFs and memes?

Many individuals confuse GIFs and memes, thus pushing them to use both words interchangeably a little too often. In truth, their difference is as clear as the distinction between pictures and videos, though. Memes are practically still images with texts, while GIFs are usually clips cut out of a movie, TV show, or video that people may have found online.

Despite their differences, both memes and GIFs are created to make people laugh.

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Have depression memes always been popular? 

Given the stigma surrounding mental illnesses (which was likely more overpowering in the past), the safest bet is that no, depression memes had not always been popular. With the creation of the internet and social media, more people have felt brave enough to share their mental health issues. That has allowed others to create depression memes that everyone may find relatable.

What is the significance of relating to depression memes?

Depression memes technically have two different effects on people. They can either illuminate you regarding how other people see a situation or amuse you at how spot-on they are describing what you think or feel. At the end of the day, though, depression memes are created to make you laugh, so relating to them at any level is significant gives you a way to relieve yourself of stress and improve your mood.

Is humor important when battling depression?

Yes, humor is absolutely important for someone trying to get rid of depression. When you joke and laugh, a massive load on your shoulders gets lifted. It may return once you are no longer laughing, but the momentary relief you experience may make you realize that there is a way out of your worries.

Unfortunately, some people tend to frown upon using humor when battling depression and say that depressed folks use humor to mask their condition. If you think about it, though, laughing is basically a form of expression. While others may choose to yell, curse, or cry, some want to laugh their troubles away.

Why should I laugh?

The primary reason why you should laugh is that it is the cheapest yet one of the most effective sources of stress relief on the planet. Laughing at least once a day can push your worries out of your mind, after all. It may only take a few seconds, but a few worry-free seconds will allow your brain to form solutions for your problems. Hence, the more you laugh, the more you may be able to resolve your issues faster.

Another reason to laugh is that it is a natural pain reliever. Many people get weirded out when someone getting cancer treatment or surgery or dealing with the death of a loved one laughs, but laughter happens to be their coping mechanism. In all honesty, it may give them a better chance of recovering fully than crying or moping.

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Is it alright to laugh for no reason?

In reality, no. The saying that someone who laughs for no reason is “not right in the head” has a medical basis, considering most people who have suffered from a brain injury, thus causing them to be unable to control their emotions. The appropriate term for this condition is pseudobulbar affect (PBA).

How can I make myself laugh?

There are only three things you should do to make yourself laugh.

  • Hang out with naturally funny individuals. If you have coworkers, family members, or friends who seem to make it their life-long goal to make everyone laugh themselves silly during gatherings, you need to be with them more. Jokers tend to laugh easily, and their laughter can be contagious. By associating yourself with them, it will be challenging for you not to laugh with them.
  • Look for funny videos. The quickest way to do that is by going on YouTube and searching for compilations of babies doing silly stunts, animals with funny antics, or people pranking each other. In case you are into stand-up comedy, Netflix is one of the streaming platforms with a hefty list of stand-up videos.
  • Be the joker in the group. Considering others have told you that you are funny, you may try your hand at making people laugh. Even if you do not feel like doing so, if they laugh at your jokes, laughter may naturally bubble up inside you, too.

How can my mood improve?

  • Get a pet. Any form of animal can be your best friend if you take care of it well. It can keep you company during your lonely days and give you a reason to wake up every day. There is no harm in buying a pet from the store, but you may also consider adopting one or two from an animal shelter.
  • Exercise. Exercising is one of the easiest things to do, but people somehow forget to do it. Many tend to blame it because they do not have time – or extra money – for the gym, but there are plenty of free workout tutorials that anyone can try at home. And if those are too rigorous for you, walking is always an option.
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  • Talk to friends. Often, people get depressed when they feel like they cannot talk to anyone. If you know there are people in your life who are just waiting for you to reach out, you must do so and start talking to them regularly. In this manner, you will no longer be as lonely as before.
  • Pick up a hobby. Feeling sour or dull is typical for people who have not much to do with their time. Considering working is not an option, try to see it as the best time to pick up a new hobby that can fill your days and make you productive.

Final Thoughts

At first, my parents did not understand what happened or how. They thought that we had the perfect family, that their parenting skills were superb. However, they finally saw the reality through that diagnosis.

 Years after that, my relationship with my family healed. Although my parents did not hold a grudge over my major outburst when I was barely a teenager, I would forever regret letting those words come out of my mouth. I love my parents and my sister more than anything in this lifetime. It just so happened that childhood jealousy went into play and got mixed with depression, resulting in disastrous behavior.

 

Frequently Asked Questions On Chronic Anxiety

 

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Each of us feels anxious sometimes. We worry mostly about our families and other issues related to them. However, if you are worrying and feeling scared constantly to the point where your capacity to function and calm down is disrupted, you may have GAD or generalized anxiety disorder.

GAD is a typical anxiety disorder described as having persistent and chronic worry, tension, and apprehension. It is not the same as phobia, where your fears are related to a particular event or thing. The anxiety experienced in GAD is subtle but diffused – an overall feeling of discomfort or fright that engulfs your entire life. This form of anxiety is not as severe as a panic episode, but it lasts longer, making it hard for you to get a hold of a normal, peaceful life. GAD is physically and mentally draining. It exhausts you of your energy, it fatigues your body, and it impedes sleep.

If you are experiencing generalized anxiety disorder – or chronic anxiety – you may almost always be concerned bout similar things that others do. Still, you consider these worries to be way bigger. A colleague’s thoughtless comment regarding a future project becomes something that is a red flag to you; a text message to a close friend that isn’t instantly returned becomes a concern that you must have done something wrong. Sometimes, just thinking about surviving a busy day elicits anxiety. You perform your tasks filled with extreme pressure and anxiety even when there is nothing to provoke you.

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Below are more details about chronic anxiety that you should know.

How do you treat chronic anxiety?

GAD or generalized anxiety disorder is a type of anxiety disorder that presents chronic anxiety and extreme tension and worry, even if there’s nothing that’s provoking the situation. Some long-term techniques that you can do for your chronic anxiety can include:

  • Finding ways to deal with your triggers
  • Practicing a regular meditation or mindfulness routine
  • Going through cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Taking supplements and changing your diet
  • Consulting your doctor regarding medications
  • Keeping your mind and body healthy 

What are the symptoms of chronic anxiety? 

If you are suffering from chronic anxiety, you are constantly feeling restless, tense, or nervous, and you often have a sense of imminent danger or doom. Your heart rate is usually fast; you are almost always sweating, trembling, and hyperventilating. Finally, you often feel tired and have difficulty focusing because you are always thinking about your recent concerns. 

Does chronic anxiety ever go away?

The first form of anxiety will disappear by itself. The second might not go away. Most individuals with anxiety never fully recover from their condition. But they can learn to control how they feel and tremendously decrease the extent of their anxiety by going through therapy and taking medications if necessary.

Can chronic anxiety cause physical symptoms? 

Individuals with a generalized anxiety disorder are chronic worriers who are tense and anxious almost always, and they don’t even know why. The anxiety that is associated with GAD frequently presents with physical indications such as stomach problems, fatigue, restlessness, and insomnia. 

How can you reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety?

To help you decrease the physical symptoms that you are experiencing because of your anxiety, you can start by taking time to exercise regularly. This lowers your stress levels and enhances your physical health. You should also try avoiding nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol, as these three could definitely worsen anxiety symptoms. Practicing relaxation strategies and trying to get enough sleep are also great ways to decrease your physical symptoms of anxiety. 

Can physical symptoms be caused by thoughts? 

Yes, it can. And when physical symptoms lead to or are worsened by one’s thoughts or mental state, this is psychosomatic. Many individuals think that psychosomatic symptoms are unreal, but they actually are very true symptoms caused by psychological factors. For instance, when you imagine or over-think that you are sick when you’re not, this can potentially make you truly sick through a ‘nocebo effect.’ Pretentious sickness could emerge because of a person’s overactive imagination, overreaction, or over-diagnosis. 

Is Googling for symptoms a bad idea?  

Aside from inappropriate diagnoses, using Google to come up with a diagnosis for your symptoms can cover up a possibly life-threatening condition. So besides a hazy and incorrect diagnosis from various medical websites on the web, it is the danger of not recognizing a disease appropriately that is far worse than you think.

Why do I always think something is wrong with me?  

When you often think that something is wrong with you, you have a condition called illness anxiety disorder, sometimes referred to as hypochondriasis. You constantly worry that you may become severely ill, even without seeing or feeling any physical symptoms. At times, ‘catastrophizing’ can also occur to individuals at any point in their lives. It might be because of one’s mental health problems such as depression or anxiety, or it could have developed from a previous negative experience or trauma that you have not been able to overcome. 

Can anxiety cause weird body sensations? 

It is not uncommon for people with anxiety to feel tingling or numbness, which may happen at almost any part of the body but most commonly sensed on the hands, arms, legs, feet, and face. This results from blood running to the most vital parts of the body that supports the fight and flight response. 

How does anxiety make your body feel? 

For a brief period, anxiety increases one’s heart rate and breathing, focusing blood flow to the nervous system, where the person needs it most. This physical indication allows you to anticipate the severe or extreme circumstance you’re about to be confronted with. If the situation becomes too extreme, however, you may begin to feel dizzy and nauseated. 

How do I stop feeling jittery? 

You can minimize the ‘jittery feelings’ by drinking lots of water and avoiding too much caffeine from soda and coffee. You would also want to replace electrolytes, taking regular walks, and practicing meditation and deep breathing techniques.

Is staring a symptom of anxiety? 

Staring in blank space is the body’s normal way of coping with anxiety. This anxiety gaze is a symptom that is associated with heightened stress levels.

Why does my body feel shaky inside? 

When you are extremely worried, angry, or stressed, your nerves’ sensation is increased, causing your body to shake. Some individuals are also more sensitive to prescriptions for anxiety compared to others. Antidepressants, antihistamines, lithium, or medications for asthma can cause shakiness as well.

Why do I feel jittery and shaky?

When you have anxiety, your body is preparing to cope with the stress and tension, decoding the anxiousness as a sign of your need to run from the threat or stand your ground. Your body’s different muscles get ready to take action, causing the body to tremble, shake, and twitch. If tremors accompany these symptoms, the type of tremor is called psychogenic tremor.

Why do I feel shaky and weak?

If you unexpectedly feel shaky, lightheaded, and weak, you could be having a hypoglycemic attack. Other indications of lowered blood sugar include sudden headaches, trembling, fatigue, or tremors of the legs or arms.

 

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Bottom Line 

Whether you acknowledge that our anxiety is far exaggerated than the circumstances call for or think that your constant worrying guards you in whatever way, the outcome is the same – you cannot turn off your extremely anxious ideations. They continue running inside your head repeatedly. But even if things may seem so intense and overwhelming right now, you can be free of this chronic anxiety, find ways to pacify your anxious mind, and get back that sense of hope in you.

 

 

How Not To Give Your Kids Mental Health Problems

I have been a fan of Demi Lovato ever since her Camp Rock days. I used to think that she was telling the story of my life through some of her hit songs, such as Skyscraper, Warrior, and Give Your Heart A Break. Then, before singing Let It Go, she released the Gift Of A Friend, which was an OST for one of the Tinker Bell movies. Up to this day, whenever I needed music to pump my energy and wake me up, Demi’s songs would be blasting through my speakers, I would sing along at the top of my lungs. (Don’t judge me!)

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The thing is, I am among those fans who continue to support someone’s music despite their questionable behavior. However, as the years passed, I could not help but notice that the pop star’s image started going dark. Everyone thought that it was an artistic move, but then Demi admitted to drinking and abusing substances, to the extent that she needed to sign up to a rehabilitation facility.

What’s triggering her to do all that despite the outpouring of love and support from her fans, you might ask? Well, it was evident in a couple of songs like Father and For The Love Of A Daughter from the Unbroken album that Demi had deep-seated resentment towards her father. Even though he already passed away, she could not get over the trauma that he caused to her as a child.

Reality Check

Many people could relate to Demi Lovato’s life story, considering many came from broken families. To say that they merely had Daddy issues was undermining the reality that a parent’s action could leave a lasting impression on a child. It would have been cool if it made the latter wiser or want to have better relations, but that’s not the case. Such an experience often caused the kids to develop mental health problems.

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As a mother, it was challenging to imagine my kids going through the same thing as my favorite pop star. Demi’s family must feel helpless when they learned about her struggles but could not do much to help her get over them. If I was in their position, I might have cried day and night and never left my children out of my sight.

Nevertheless, since the kids were still too young, I tried to think of the things I could do to ensure that I won’t give them mental health problems.

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Watch The Words

Before having kids, I used to be more carefree with my word choices. It was effortless for my friends and me to hurl the F word to each other whenever we met as if it was the most normal thing to do. We also made insensitive comments about various people or things that I admittedly did not think about before.

But when I gave birth to a smart little girl who went through a lengthy phase of copying everything she heard, my husband and I became more mindful of our words. We wanted to shield her from F-bombs as much as we could and preserve her innocence. After all, the worst-case scenario was that our kid would end up a racist or depressive person.

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Avoid Fighting In Front Of The Children

No one—not even me—could have a perfect marriage. Although our fights happened every four months or so, my husband and I made a pact that we would only argue away from the children’s eyes. Whenever we’re in front of them, we always tried to be peaceful and loving so that that’s what our kids would learn to be while growing up.

Sometimes, it was difficult to hide my annoyance or frustration because guys tend to do silly things that they didn’t know were silly. For instance, my husband mixed the whites with colored clothes when I asked him to do the laundry one time. No matter how I wanted to yell at him, I practically smiled through it all. The only consolation was that our kids would not have traumatic memories of us fighting in front of them.

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Stay Away From Vices

Before having kids, I smoked and enjoyed happy hour at bars every week. I always knew my limits, but it felt as if I could not live without cigarettes and alcohol. The same goes for my husband.

When the children came, we stopped using both substances at once because they were probably causes of congenital disabilities and diseases. The sudden change was more challenging for my husband since he did not need to carry our babies full term. However, once he saw our angels, I did not have to ask him twice—he stayed away from vices immediately.

Final Thoughts

I could not tell if our combined efforts would be practical until our kids probably turn 18 years old. But as far as I could see, they were open to us about their issues. I guess that’s a promising start.

 

How Families Can Benefit From PCIT

 

 

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Definition

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy or PCIT is described as a blend of behavioral and play therapy for young kids, and their parents or guardians. Here, the adults get to learn and be hands-on on the skills and strategies that they would acquire from the therapy and are associated with children and their behavioral patterns, emotions, disabilities, or mental health concerns.

Geared mostly towards parents and guardians, this type of therapy teaches particular skills that they can utilize to help them become better at communicating with their children. PCIT was created for kids between 2 and 7, and so far, it has been proven to be successful for children who manifest disturbing behavioral patterns, have gone through trauma, or those who are on the spectrum. This type of therapy, including its related programs, are also used as interventions for helping counteract neglect and child abuse as well as reducing children’s risk of criminal and antisocial behavior.

Expectations

Indeed, parents and guardians have a crucial role in PCIT during treatment while the therapist plays observant and teaches from the next room furnished with a one=way mirror. The therapist talks with the parent or guardian using earphones while giving instruction and assistance. The adults are advised not to use negative language and are encouraged not to focus on the innocent and unhelpful behaviors. They should also acquire other skills, including echoing the child’s reactions back to him to help better the communication. They are to describe these behaviors aloud to maximize the child’s vocabulary, and replicating his positive behavior so the child is aware that the behavior is approved.

 

Source: pikist.com

 

How PCIT Works

By acquiring knowledge on certain strategies and skills, families, especially parents and guardians, can establish a stronger relationship with the child. The child is also able to manifest better behaviors. On the whole, PCIT can help regain good family dynamics by reducing negative behavioral patterns within the whole family, as well as learn new behaviors and techniques of collaborating that can be more inspiring and comforting. When these techniques are done regularly, they can build confidence, improve individual child and parent behavior, and decrease anger and hatred.

The PCIT Therapist

The parent-child interaction therapist, including the counselors and social workers, are employed privately or in community mental health. He has been certified by the PCIT International and has a license to provide mental health services through his master’s degree and other training and experiences in PCIT. Additionally, the therapist of your choice should be someone that you, as a parent, guardian, or family member, feel comfortable with working on personal concerns.

If your child is going through behavioral or emotional problems, you probably should have attempted to do a lot of techniques to pacify his behaviors, such as punishment and positive feedback. But if the child has not demonstrated a more pleasant behavior, you may be frustrated about not being able to do the right thing for your child.

It is significant to note that amidst all your efforts to keep yourself calm and collected, parents can become exhausted and annoyed when they are demonstrated with the same unpleasant behaviors from their child repeatedly. When this occurs, you might act inappropriately and affect the child negatively. Consequently, the child can imitate your bad reactions and habits and replicate them, which might also be the reason why they are behaving rather unpleasantly – because they see you react negatively when you are frustrated. If you are experiencing this kind of situation, then PCIT is the perfect therapy for you.

 

Source: ilslearningcorner.com

 

It goes to say that parent-child interaction therapy is a therapy for the parent, the guardian, or the family member. You are given lessons from a child psychologist about how to manage your negative behaviors while improving your connection with your child. This type of therapy assists in controlling behavioral patterns in a young child. PCIT is a 15 or 20 therapy program developed for parents or guardians and their children who are ten years old or younger. They may be going through emotional, mental, or other behavioral problems.

Benefits

  • It can help kids deal with their violent and rebellious behaviors.

PCIT focuses on various defiant behaviors in kids. Some of these include fighting, swearing, demonstrating tantrums, reduced self-confidence, lying, and refusing to follow the rules. With many more of these behaviors present in children, parents and guardians often doubt if this kind of therapy is the appropriate solution. But to be able to fix these behavioral concerns, they need to get to the bottom of the real problem of the child. Frequently, the behaviors manifested by the kids are ones that are replicated from the parents – and the parents might have been doing these behaviors unintentionally. For instance, when you reprimand your child, and they talk back at you, you might unconsciously start an argument. When this happens a number of times, a habit is developed, and it may be difficult to fix it without the help of a professional. The parent must now learn to break these habits and practice techniques that will help him positively deal with his child.

 

  • It assists in improving relationships between the child and the parent.

One of the most important benefits of PCIT is that you are allowed to improve your connection with your child. Most parents and guardians yearn to have a strong bond with their child, yet they do not know how to do it. This type of counseling facilitates the learning of good communication through parental guidance while respecting your child in the process. Building a positive and enduring relationship with your child is easier when they are younger rather than in their later years.

 

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  • It reduces the incidence of child abuse.

When parents are discouraged or annoyed, they may verbally show these feelings out loud and can be painful and mentally disturbing to a child. Regrettably, they sometimes cannot realize this, as they may have been disciplined this way when they were children themselves. PCIT attempts to cut this vicious cycle of child abuse and guides the adults into the process of disciplining their children without mentally, physically, or emotionally assaulting them.

 

 

 

Help Kids Cope With Stress During This Pandemic

One of the misconceptions during this pandemic is that adults believe children are not that affected by the situation. They assume that kids do not understand what the world is going through. That all these children have to do is listen to what adults tell them. However, adults do not recognize the emotional and mental stress that kids also had to go through during this global health crisis.

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For Your Information

Children may respond to stress differently. Some tend to be so clingy, anxious, stubborn, withdrawing, angry, and impulsive. Most of the time, parents do not look at the signs intently because they somehow assume that children’s behavioral issues are normal and are a part of growing up. However, given this pandemic situation, the emotional stress that kids feel is different from what parents know. Children in times of crisis may suffer from mental decline due to lack of social school interaction, limited access to outdoor play, and sudden change of routines. With all these complications, here are some of the things parents can do.

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Providing Reassurance

One of the factors that cause children to become emotionally unstable is the lack of emotional support. That is the reason why most children tend to act and respond to their surroundings differently. Some of them become too anxious that they can no longer pay attention to themselves. So in this unfortunate condition, parents must learn how to listen to their kids. If the children say they are worried and afraid, prioritize by giving them an assurance that whatever happens, they will never go through the struggle alone. Make them realize that the situation is only temporary so that they can find it in their minds and heart not to get emotionally distracted with what they negatively see and hear on the news.

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Explain Things Calmly

Understandably, adults get too stressed because of the limited things they can do in this time of crisis. But they are not the only ones. Kids also feel deprived of their freedom because they understand they are not allowed to do things they were supposed to. These include playing and socializing. Thus, it is the parents’ responsibility to talk to the children and explain things calmly. At first, the children will get confused and might ask a lot of questions that can sometimes tend to be annoying. But that doesn’t have to cause an emotional burden to parents because that’s how kids are. They are curious about everything. Therefore, that is enough reason to tell them the truth about the people and the world’s suffering.

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Avoid Any Forms Of Separation

As much as parents want to keep their children safe, it is essential to not allow kids to feel alone in times of crisis. One thing that most adults wrongly do is trying to keep the children safe by allowing them to be with people they thought are more capable of taking care of the kids. Yes, assuming there’s the possibility there. But to avoid children’s emotional stress, parents must always stay by their kids’ sides. And if example, a member of the family needs to go to the hospital or might need to run an errand, they must ensure regular communication with the kids. That way, children will never feel left out, especially in moments that they need their parents’ with them.

For most of us, we somehow underestimate the children’s understanding of the situation. Thus we often make mistakes in taking care of them. In this time of crisis, we must all learn to understand that kids also feel the pressure, anxiety, and stress we all feel.

Parenting Is Not All About You Doing Everything For Them

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This 2019 Parenting Event was helpful, but it cannot compare to the first-hand experience. I am a mother of five kids who was married for nineteen years and have been taking care of children for 23 years now. It is never easy to be a parent. There is no magic pill to do it. You just have to suck it up, breathe in positive vibes, and breathe out your worries. That is what I do every single day since I still have three kids who are below 18.

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