A Child’s Life After Parents Separate: Winding Long Journey With The Family Members

In the complexity of family life, divorce can be a thread that unravels the familiar patterns, leaving most children to navigate a new maze of experiences and emotions. We’re not just learning about what happens right after something big and tough, like when parents decide not to live together anymore. We’re also seeing how amazing and strong kids can be, and how they can change and learn to be happy again.

In this article, we want to show all the different ways kids can learn, change, and become steady and strong in a world where their parents live apart. It’s a story of risk and resiliency perspective about changing, being brave, and having hope. We’ll share secrets about how kids heal and grow after going through something really hard.

A child sitting on the couch and hiding under pillows
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Emotional Challenges Of Divorce

Embarking on the emotional rollercoaster that often accompanies their parents’ divorce, children face a myriad of emotional challenges. From the initial shock and grief to the eventual acceptance and adaptation, this journey is marked by a spectrum of feelings and experiences.

Grief And Loss

For a child, the separation of parents is akin to the loss of a familiar world. The home they knew, the family dinners, and the shared holidays suddenly become memories of a past life. This profound sense of loss can manifest in various forms – sadness, anger, or even denial. Children’s reactions may long for the return of the past, struggling to accept the new reality.

Anxiety And Insecurity

With the family unit undergoing a seismic shift, children often grapple with their own feelings of anxiety and insecurity. Questions plague their minds:

  • Where will I live?
  • Will I have to change schools?
  • Will my parents still love me the same?

This anxiety can extend to fears about the future of most of these children’s lives and the stability of their remaining family relationships.

Coping Mechanisms

Despite the whirlwind of emotions, children are incredibly resilient. This resilience is often seen in their coping mechanisms. Some find solace in art or music, others in sports or friendships. Then there are those who turn inward, finding strength in solitude and reflection.

Changes In Family Dynamics

The ripple of divorce extends far beyond the couple, deeply altering the family dynamics for the children involved. Transitioning from a two-parent to a single-parent household, or adapting to blended family structures, presents its own set of challenges and adjustments.

Here, we explore how these changes impact the daily lives and overall well-being of children, focusing on the intricacies of evolving family relationships.

Adjusting To Single-Parent Households

Transitioning to a single-parent household marks a significant change in a child’s daily life. From logistical shifts like moving homes or adjusting to new schedules, to emotional adjustments like missing the absent parent, the challenges of child adjustment are multifaceted.

New Family Structures

Post-divorce, many children find themselves part of new family structures, living arrangements such as stepfamilies. Integrating into this new dynamic can be complex, involving forming relationships with stepparents and stepsiblings.

Navigating loyalty conflicts and establishing new bonds requires time and patience.

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Embracing The Role Of Extended Family

In the wake of divorce, the role of extended family becomes more significant than ever. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can provide a vital support network. They offer not just emotional support but also continuity and a sense of belonging.

This highlights the importance of extended family in providing stability and love during a time of upheaval, illustrating how these bonds can help anchor child’s relationship with other family members during times of change.

Social Implications Of Divorce

The social fabric of a child’s life can be significantly altered by the experience of their parents’ divorce. This section examines the far-reaching implications of this familial change, from shifts in peer relationships to impacts on academic life and extracurricular involvement. Understanding these social implications is key to supporting children as they navigate their new reality.

1. Peer Relationships

The ripple effects of divorce often extend into a child’s social sphere, particularly in their relationships with peers. Children may feel different from other parent and their friends, especially those with intact families, leading to feelings of isolation or embarrassment for many parents.

In some cases, they might face uncomfortable questions or even bullying. This shows how these changes can impact a child’s social interactions and friendships, exploring ways to foster understanding and empathy among peers.

2. Academic Performance

Divorce can significantly impact a child’s performance in school. Emotional distress may lead to:

  • Difficulties in concentration
  • Decreased motivation
  • Behavioral changes

All of which, marital conflict and parental conflict can affect academic achievement. Here, we see the challenges children face in their academic life post-divorce.
3. Extracurricular Activities
Engagement in the same school and extracurricular activities can play a dual role in the life of a child dealing with parental separation or divorce.

For some, these activities provide a much-needed escape, a space where they can feel normal and enjoy a sense of accomplishment. For others, the additional commitments can become overwhelming against the backdrop of home changes.

Long-Term Effects

Divorce is not just a momentary disruption but can have lasting effects on a child’s emotional and psychological development. Here, we explore the long-term effects of parental divorce, considering both the challenges and the unexpected growth opportunities that arise.

We look at how these experiences shape a child’s future perspectives on relationships, their emotional resilience, and their overall approach to life’s challenges.

Understanding these long-term ramifications is crucial for providing the right support and guidance to children’s adjustment as they grow into adulthood, ensuring they emerge stronger and well-adjusted.
Impact On Future Relationships
The experience of parental separation and divorce can shape a child’s perspective on relationships and commitment well into adulthood. Concerns about trust, the fear of repeating their own parents’ mistakes, or the challenge of forming deep emotional connections can emerge.

It’s absolutely vital to delve into the long-term implications of parental divorce on a child’s future romantic and personal relationships, discussing ways to nurture a healthy outlook on relationships despite their early family experiences.
Emotional Resilience
One of the most profound long-term effects of parental divorce is the development of emotional resilience. Children who navigate the complexities of divorce often emerge with a deeper understanding of themselves and a greater capacity for empathy.

Focus on the growth and strength that can arise from adversity, emphasizing the role of supportive environments in fostering resilience.

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Therapy And Support Systems
The role of therapy and support systems in helping children cope with the long-term effects of their parents separation and divorce is crucial. To seek professional help and guidance can provide children with the tools to process their emotions healthily and build coping strategies for future challenges. If anything, it’s essential to underscore the importance of:

  • Counseling
  • Support groups
  • Other resources

These interventions can aid in the emotional well-being, mental health, and long-term adjustment of children affected by divorce with the help of mental health professionals.

Positive Outcomes

Amidst the challenges of a parent’s divorce, there are often unexpected positive outcomes that can emerge for children.

By recognizing and nurturing these positive aspects, we can help children find balance and positivity in their parents marriage and post-divorce journey, turning a challenging experience into a foundation for a resilient and fulfilling future.

Experiencing Your Own Personal Growth

While the journey of parent child relationship through a parent’s divorce can be fraught with challenges, it also offers opportunities for significant personal growth. Children who have navigated these waters often develop a heightened sense of empathy and understanding toward others’ feelings and situations. They may also acquire:

  • Advanced coping skills
  • Emotional intelligence
  • A mature perspective on life’s complexities at a younger age

Facing and overcoming such a profound life challenge can foster resilience, self-awareness, and a deeper appreciation for the nuances of human relationships.

Having Strengthened Relationships With Your Parents

In many cases, the post-divorce period of child custody can lead to stronger, more meaningful relationships between children and their parents. With the necessity for more serious parenting skills, open communication and understanding of each other’s needs, bonds can deepen.

Children may get more quality time with each parent, leading to stronger individual relationships with one parent. These evolving relationships can be a silver lining, providing a foundation for lifelong closeness and mutual respect.

Gaining Independence And Experiencing Maturity

The experience of adapting to life after a parent’s divorce often accelerates a child’s journey toward independence and maturity. Faced with significant life changes, children learn to:

  • Adapt
  • Make decisions
  • Handle responsibilities earlier than their peers

This newfound independence can manifest in various forms, from managing daily tasks to developing the ability to navigate complex emotional landscapes. These experiences shape children into self-reliant and mature individuals, equipped with skills that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Helping Kids Move Forward

It’s of utmost importance that adults help children move forward from this kind of significant event. After all, divorce can be traumatic for kids. But with the right guidance, resources, and coping strategies, parents and guardians can help their children through everything.

To Wrap Up

In the delicate dance of life, the experience of a child navigating through the aftermath of their parents’ divorce is both intricate and profound. As we’ve journeyed through the various facets of their world, from the tremors of emotional challenges to the unexpected vistas of personal growth, it’s evident that each child’s path is unique.

Yet, amidst these individual stories, a common thread of resilience and adaptability emerges, weaving a tapestry of strength and maturity. As guardians, educators, and compassionate observers, our role is to extend a hand of understanding and support, helping these young navigators chart a course through uncharted waters. With empathy, patience, and love, we can help them turn a story of disruption into one of hope and endless possibilities.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

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How Not To Give Kid Mental Health Problems

 

girl listening to music
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I have been a fan of Demi Lovato ever since her Camp Rock days. I used to think that she was telling the story of my life through some of her hit songs, such as Skyscraper, Warrior, and Give Your Heart A Break. Then, before singing Let It Go, she released the Gift Of A Friend, which was an OST for one of the Tinker Bell movies. Up to this day, whenever I needed music to pump my energy and wake me up, Demi’s songs would be blasting through my speakers, I would sing along at the top of my lungs. (Don’t judge me!)

The thing is, I am among those fans who continue to support someone’s music despite their questionable behavior. However, as the years passed, I could not help but notice that the pop star’s image started going dark. Everyone thought that it was an artistic move, but then Demi admitted to drinking and abusing substances, to the extent that she needed to sign up to a rehabilitation facility.

What’s triggering her to do all that despite the outpouring of love and support from her fans, you might ask? Well, it was evident in a couple of songs like Father and For The Love Of A Daughter from the Unbroken album that Demi had deep-seated resentment towards her father. Even though he already passed away, she could not get over the trauma that he caused to her as a kid.

Mental Health Reality Check

Many people could relate to Demi Lovato’s life story, considering many came from broken families. To say that they merely had Daddy issues was undermining the reality that a parent’s action could leave a lasting impression on a kid. It would have been cool if it made the latter wiser or want to have better relations, but that’s not the case. Such an experience often caused the kids to develop mental health problems that would require help from a mental health professional or our kid’s health care provider.

mom playing with child

As a mother, it was challenging to imagine my kids mental health problems as my favorite pop star. Demi’s family must feel helpless when they learned about her struggles but could not do much to help her get over them. If I was in their position, I might have cried day and night and never left my kids out of my sight.

No Psychological Wellness Disorders

Nevertheless, since the kids were still too young, I tried to think of the things I could do to ensure that I won’t give them a mental health problem. I learned from health care professionals, read some resources on diagnostic and statistical manual of adolescent psychiatry as well as looked into family counseling.

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Watch The Words In Front of Kids

Before having kids, I used to be more carefree with my word choices. It was effortless for my friends and me to hurl the F word to each other whenever we met as if it was the most normal thing to do. We also made insensitive comments about various people or things that I admittedly did not think about before.

But when I gave birth to a smart little girl who went through a lengthy phase of copying everything she heard, my husband and I became more mindful of our words. We wanted to shield her from F-bombs as much as we could and preserve her innocence. After all, the worst-case scenario was that our kid would end up a racist or depressive person.

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Avoid Fighting In Front Of The Kids

No one—not even me—could have a perfect marriage. Although our fights happened every four months or so, my husband and I made a pact that we would only argue away from the kid’s eyes. Whenever we’re in front of them, we always tried to be peaceful and loving so that that’s what our kids would learn to be while growing up.

Sometimes, it was difficult to hide my annoyance or frustration because guys tend to do silly things that they didn’t know were silly. For instance, my husband mixed the whites with colored clothes when I asked him to do the laundry one time. No matter how I wanted to yell at him, I practically smiled through all of my kid’s daily life. The only consolation was that our kids would not have traumatic memories of us fighting in front of them as family members.

absolutely no smoking
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Stay Away From Vices For The Kids

Before having kids, I smoked and enjoyed happy hour at bars every week. I always knew my limits, but it felt as if I could not live without cigarettes and alcohol. The same goes for my husband. Those are our coping skills.

When the kids came, we stopped using both substances at once because they were probably risk factors and causes of congenital disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism spectrum disorder, possible childhood mental health problems and diseases. The sudden change was more challenging for my husband since he did not need to carry our babies full term. However, once he saw our angels, I did not have to ask him twice—he stayed away from vices immediately. Not even a sign of post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, mental health problems, other mood disorders and eating disorders are present after this.

Final Thoughts On Mental Health Problems

I could not tell if our combined efforts would be practical until our kids probably turn 18 years old. But as far as I could see, they were open to us about their issues so we can really watch out for warning signs in their mental health or if there is a possibility of developing a mental health problem. I guess that’s a promising start. I might need some help from mental health professionals in the future. But right now, I do not see any signs of childhood mental health problems.

Mental Health Problems FAQs

What are healthy coping strategies for mental health problems?

Healthy coping for mental health disorders involves seeking professional healthcare help, staying connected with a support system, practicing mindfulness, exercising, and maintaining a balanced diet. Adequate sleep, stress management, and positive self-talk are vital. Setting realistic goals, limiting substance use, and engaging in hobbies and creative activities contribute to well-being. Support groups, self-care, and managing screen time are also valuable. A personalized coping plan with a mental health professional is essential for effectively managing mental health disorders.

Why are coping strategies vital in mental health recovery?

How do you deal with a grown kid with mental health problems?

How can we promote more open conversations about mental health in our society?

How can we prevent mental health problems in kids?

Preventing mental health problems in children includes creating a supportive environment, fostering open communication, and promoting healthy lifestyles. These measures can help build resilience against issues like anxiety, depression, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ADHD. Early recognition of signs and access to support are crucial. Maintaining a loving and accepting home environment plays a significant role, and seeking professional help promptly if issues arise is essential.

What are the consequences of unhealthy coping strategies?

How to prevent the stigma of mental health problem in family and society?

How do you help a kid with a mental health breakdown?

How does mental health affect a kid’s behavior?

How does bad mental health affect kid development?

What causes mental health issues in kids?

What is the most common mental health problem in kids?

How Can I Improve My Child’s Psychological Wellness?

What Affects Children’s Psychological Wellness That Leads To Serious Consequences?

How Do You Identify Psychological Wellness Issues In Children?

Bad Practices That Could Harm Your Children

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The consequences of the choices we make in life become heavier once we become parents. The habits we keep will affect not only us but also our children. The things we do around our kids may have lasting, adverse effects on them.

For the sake of our young ones, let’s look at some harmful practices we need to quit.

Destructive Conflict

Many parents will make the mistake of vowing not to fight in front of their kids. The reality is that it’s going to happen eventually. While this may sound like something that can harm your kids, it’s not actually all that bad. Arguments become harmful if you deal with conflict destructively.

We tend to picture parents fighting as two people yelling, throwing things, and lashing out at each other. This hostility can cause children to become troubled, anxious, and stressed. They tend to become insecure and withdrawn. For others, they act out and develop problems at school as well as at home.

Conversely, a better approach is to have a mature conversation where you discuss things like adults. Your children will also go through conflict throughout their life. They will need to learn how to deal with these situations appropriately and effectively.

Overreacting

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Have you ever wondered why kids don’t tell you things or why teenagers have to lie about what they do? Often, this stems from a fear of how their parents will react. Perhaps mom and dad found out about that broken plate and went ballistic.

It’s precisely this outburst of emotions that pushes them away from us. Overreacting to our children’s mistakes can make them fearful of us. Instead of coming to us for help or to open up, they’ll try their best to cover things up. This practice will only create kids who act out and are quick to become upset.

Before you get angry over spilled milk or a broken vase, get down and help your kid clean up. Teach them how to be more cautious, but don’t blow up over small things such as this. Otherwise, they’ll be too scared of making mistakes.

Hiding Your Emotions

While we mentioned that it could be harmful to overreact, that doesn’t mean that you should mask your emotions either. While you shouldn’t yell at your kids over small things, it doesn’t help to lie about how you feel. This practice will make them confused about their feelings. 

Show your kids your sentiments and how to deal with them. If you experience loss, teach them that it’s okay to be sad. Being positive all the time can be harmful because it sets an unreasonable standard of happiness. It is not the only emotion we should be allowed to feel.

Trying To Solve Everything

As hard as it is to resist, parents have to stop trying to be superheroes to their kids. We shouldn’t try to solve everything for our children.

This practice will do nothing but teach them that we will deal with every road bump they face. As much as we want to be the people they run to for help, they may become too dependent.

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Instead of swooping in all the time, teach them how to deal with problems and conflict. It’s another one of those situations where the “teach a man how to fish” saying comes into play.

The things we do around our kids will leave lasting effects on them until their adulthood. As parents, we have to do our best, even if it means breaking bad habits that are hard to quit. The sooner we kick these types of behavior to the curb, the better mothers and fathers we can be.

 

Tips For Parents In Managing Parent–Teacher Conferences

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In the middle of the school year, teachers usually invite parents to discuss their child’s accomplishments and areas of improvement. These are called parent–teacher conferences, and they typically happen after releasing the report cards of the students. No matter how important these initiatives are, some parents do not attend these conferences because they do not know what to do in these situations.

In here, we will provide you with tips on how to make the most out of these meetings.

Talk To Your Child Beforehand

Before you attend the parent–teacher conference, you have to set an open discussion with your child to talk about the problems they are experiencing in school. This exercise will allow you to see your child’s perspective to represent his or her interest in the meeting better. Your conversation can also be an avenue for you to set academic and co-curricular goals with your child come the next school days.

Be Prepared

Do not entirely rely on the things the teacher will present to you. You also have to investigate on your own by checking their grades and performance beforehand. You can do this by reading the comments on the report card or viewing the school’s student portal. Make sure to research and study what the academic benchmarks should be depending on your child’s school level and cross-check this with what they’re doing in school.

In addition, come up with a list of questions you can ask the teacher so that you can have a better picture of your child’s performance. Some of these include the following:

  • Does my child submit his homework on time?
  • Does my child actively participate in all of his classes?
  • What are my kid’s weakest and strongest subjects? How do you say so?
  • Is my child happy at school, or do you feel that some issues are bothering him?
  • What can I do to improve his school performance?
  • Does my child get along with his classmates?

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Treat The Teacher As A Confidant Instead Of An Opponent

Some parents tend to be defensive when teachers bring out concerns about their child. They display this kind of combative mindset because they passionately want their children to achieve their goal. But to help your child, you have to stop treating the teacher as an opponent. Instead, consider him or her as a partner. Come up with ways which can help your child get the best education opportunities for his growth and success.

Execute The Action Plan

Make sure to immediately implement the action plan you agreed on with the teacher. Discuss this with your child and make him or her understand its importance. You also have to set up key performance indicators and track his or her progress through this.

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Communicate With The Teacher

Your partnership does not stop after the parent–teacher conference. Make sure that you still stay in touch with the teacher throughout the school year and regularly schedule checkup sessions where you can discuss the student’s growth.

Not all parent–teacher meetings are structured the same way. However, you can apply all of the points listed above to every conference no matter what your child’s grade level or age is.

 

Family Therapist Urges Us To Know Our Kid’s Temperament

Every kid comes with their personality. Each of them has their ways of approaching people and situations. Family therapists encourage parents to study their children’s temperaments because it describes the child’s adaptability and emotional style. Parents can adapt their parenting style to their child’s personalities.

Why Parents Should Learn About Temperaments

Parents will be able to strategize the best way to connect and handle their children. It also gives them a firmer grasp of their kid’s personality, and parents will appreciate the uniqueness of their child.

With a more in-depth understanding, they can better deal with their child’s skills and limitations. Parents who are aware of their child’s temperament are more prepared in anticipating problems that might trigger the child. They can help the child by guiding and readying him for the challenge he or she will face.

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Temperament

Temperament is a group of innate traits that influence how people approach the world. It is a necessary tool in the development of a child’s personality. It also dictates how children will learn and absorb the world around him. Temperaments do not dictate whether a child is “good” or “bad.” Instead, it influences the child’s perception of whether his actions are “good” or “bad.”

In identifying, your child’s temperament, we look at the nine significant characteristics that signify whether a child is difficult to raise.

Activity Level

This identifier is the level of physical activity and restlessness demonstrated in the child’s behavior based on his daily activities. You may observe if the child can settle down with a quiet, sedentary game. If he is more inclined to play sports, then he has high activity levels. Highly active children can grow their careers in fast-paced environments.

Regularity

Regularity or rhythmicity describes the patterns in the child’s physical functions. This trait is evident in the child’s appetite, sleep patterns, and even bowel movements. For example, parents can anticipate when their child gets hungry throughout the day. Children who do not have predictable habits can grow and thrive in careers with unusual working hours.

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Approach And Withdrawal

This trait determines a child’s initial response to new stimuli. The child may either react rapidly or hesitantly to unfamiliar situations, new people, places, or food. Children who are cautious of strange scenarios tend to think before they act.

Adaptability

Adaptability focuses on how the child responds to changes in routine or transitions. This characteristic enlightens parents on the degree of ease or difficulty with which a child adjusts to new situations. It also involves the child’s ability to modify their reaction towards the change. Children who take a longer time to become comfortable in new cases grow to be less influenced by peer pressure.

Intensity

The child either responds positively or negatively to certain situations. Intensity is the level of energy the child reacts to events. For example, parents can observe when their child gets upset. Does the child tend to get quiet, or do they respond dramatically? More intense children may be gifted with a talent for the arts and may be more in touch with their emotions.

Mood

The degree of pleasantness or unfriendliness observed in a child’s words or behaviors determines their mood. For example, children can view opportunities as half full or half empty. Parents can decide if their child is inclined to look at life more negatively or more positively. Thoughtful children tend to assess situations analytically and carefully.

Attention Span

Attention span or persistence is the ability of the child to concentrate on a task with or without distraction. Children with longer attention spans can focus more compared to those who cannot focus on the task at hand.

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Distractibility

Distractibility is the ease with which a child can concentrate and pay attention when they are not particularly interested in the activity. Some children are easily distracted from a task by environmental stimuli, whether visual or auditory. A child with high distractibility is favorable as the child’s attention can be diverted from unwanted behavior. In a negative light, high distractibility prevents a child from accomplishing assignments.

Sensory Threshold

The sensory threshold is the child’s sensitivity to stimuli like sound, taste, touch, or temperature. It determines what amount of physical stimulation is needed for a child to respond. Some children react with the slightest stimulation, while others need intense amounts of stimuli.

Temperaments help parents get a glimpse of their kid’s personality, triggers, strengths, and weaknesses. Parents can capitalize on these dispositions by guiding and teaching them how to deal with adversities and challenges properly. They can steer kids in the right direction and become people who can adjust to the environment surrounding them.

How To Be The Best Parent Ever

The moment you become a parent, everything in your life suddenly changes. You will be surprised by how your priorities can change in an instant. You also become selfless because all that would matter is your child’s best interest. You want nothing but to provide him with everything – basically a wonderful and beautiful life. However, according to a study conducted by a psychologist, it is not an easy thing to do especially when some factors are out of your control. Nonetheless, you must not give up easily because there are tons of ways on how you can become the best parent to your kid.

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Here are some of the things to keep in mind:

 

Make Time For Your Child

 

No matter how demanding your work or business is, be sure to never replace your family with it. Take note that no amount of money can make you buy a second or a minute of time. Even if you are the richest person in this world, you can never bring back time. As such, it is crucial that you always prioritize spending quality time with your kid. Never make him doubt about your love and care for him. At the same time, avoid giving him an opportunity to seek comfort from other people who cannot be trusted or who only have bad intentions for him.

 

Show Your Love And Affection

 

In connection with the item discussed above, you must see to it that you will never fail to remind your kid how much he means to you. Let him know that you love him by using kind words when talking to him or caring for his day-to-day needs. As much as possible, avoid leaving his care to some random people or even nannies. Keep in mind that what he needs is your full attention. Every night before he goes to sleep, make sure to tell him sweet words like “I love you” or “I care for you.” These things can make him feel that he is a well-loved individual. It can positively affect his growth.

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Teach Him Life Lessons

 

As a parent, it is only typical for you to aim that he develops into a mature and loving individual. An excellent way of making this happen is to teach him life lessons every now and then. Take note that every situation with your child presents an opportunity for learning. Do not spoil your child with toys or material things. Instead, focus on teaching him the correct values that can shape him to becoming a better person. Always remember that your parenting style can be reflected in who your child is going to become when he grows up. Hence, it is vital for you to see to it that he knows what is wrong and evil.

 

Give Room For Error

 

Never pressure your child into becoming a perfect individual because it can only drive him away from you. The right thing to do is to understand that he is only a kid and has little idea on how to live life. It is the primary reason why your guidance and assistance are essential during his childhood. Whenever he commits a mistake, do not get angry right away or nag for the whole day to make him feel bad. Instead, talk to him about why what he did was wrong and make him understand that he shall never do it again. Be a loving parent who can accept his mistakes.

 

Go On Vacation With Him

 

Another parenting tip that you must never forget is to go on a vacation with him. This method of spending more time with him will help not only your child but also yourself. Keep in mind that you also deserve to relax and rest. It is okay to get exhausted about becoming a parent because you are only human. Hence, be brave to take a break from whatever keeps you busy in the city and go out of town with your family. Do whatever it takes to chill so that you can recharge and become a better version of yourself the moment you come back. Explore beautiful places together.

 

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Becoming a parent is an opportunity that you must enjoy and love. Always remember that there is nothing in this world that you could not do as a mother or father!

 

Should Parents Try Therapy Online?

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Parents are known to take good care of their children and the entire family. They are the ones who work hard to ensure that there is always food on the table and that the kids feel loved at all times. However, some of us fail to ask if these parents are doing fine with everything that they have to do. Since they care too much for their children, then the proper question to ask is who is going to look after them? The truth is that many parents suffer from anxiety and depression because of too much pressure from society. If you are one of these mothers or fathers, it is best to consider therapy online. 

In this article, our primary focus would be about online therapy and how it can help a struggling parent like you. First of all, it is vital or crucial for you to accept the reality that you get exhausted or tired at times. Take note that it is entirely okay to feel this way because you are not a robot. Remember that you do everything for the ones you love, and it is not a mistake to want something for yourself. As such, do not feel guilty in case you need to seek professional help such as counseling or therapy. Below are the top reasons why you have to try online therapy as soon as possible. 

Determine Your Issues 

The saddest part about feeling extreme grief or exhaustion is not to know the cause behind it. You will feel frustrated and helpless because you have no idea on how to approach your issues. In the first place, you are not even aware of what they are. For this reason, it is best to speak to an online therapist who can help you process everything that you are going through. With the online sessions, you will begin to see a clearer picture of your current situation in life.

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Get Over Negative Emotions

 As already emphasized above, it is normal to have negative feelings in your life as a parent. It does not make you a bad person, but instead, it shows that you are not a superhero who can withstand everything. There are days when you want to withdraw from the mess or chaos in your parenting life and get the rest you deserve. Fortunately, this is something that an online therapist can do. This professional can help you confront negative emotions until you eliminate them in your life. 

Makes You A Better Person

 Another significant advantage of seeking professional help is getting an opportunity to become a better version of yourself. Keep in mind that online therapy sessions are designed to help individuals understand themselves even more. Because of this, it becomes easier for you to pinpoint all the wrong attitude and personality that you have. When this happens, you will begin to think of other ways on how you can transform for the better. If this continues to take place or happen for a long time, you will be better and happier at parenting. 

Provides Help At Your Convenience

Did you know that appointments or meetings with a therapist are costly? This becomes more expensive as you need to visit them in their office, which means that you have to spend on transportation fees and other miscellaneous expenses. On the contrary, if you will go for online therapy sessions, you can have them at the convenience of your own home. There is no necessity to leave your house before you can receive the help or guidance of a therapist. As such, you can expect your fees to be lower. At the same time, seeing a therapist won’t be difficult as all you need to do is to go online on your scheduled digital session.

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 Conclusion

While parenting can be fun and rewarding, do not forget the significance of caring for yourself every once in a while. Accept the fact that you need to try therapy online if it means helping yourself to become better. Stop thinking that therapy is only for the weak. Even strong persons like you may see the need to look for professional help in times of dire need. Do not have second thoughts in givingit a try.

 

Signs That Your Child’s Mental Health Is Declining

The mental strength and emotional ability of each one of us start at home during our childhood years. Mental health of every member of the family should, therefore, be one of the parents’ priorities. It should not be a reason for one to feel as if it is an embarrassment. Are you worried about the stigma? Ask or get help from a therapist online then. It’s as simple as it is.

Your child may be physically and intellectually excelling in school but have you checked his mental health lately? The symptoms are not easy to spot especially if the parent is uneducated about the importance of subtle signs of declining mental health. To start, here are a few warning signs that you should look for:

Sudden Mood Changes

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Your child may be happy and energetic one moment then he turns irritable the next without any immediate cause. This behavior, however, should not be confused with the natural tendency of children to have tantrums.

Sudden outbursts of feelings and emotions coming entirely out of nowhere may be an early symptom of your child having a bipolar disorder. This conduct should be treated as early as possible because this may be a reason for substance abuse, aggressiveness in public, and interruption of daily activities.

Loss Of Appetite 

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Losing appetite can result in extreme weight loss which can give rise to different physical complications. A person who is not feeling any hunger for days may be experiencing anxiety, trauma, or extreme stress. Check if your child is experiencing any difficulty in school or maybe he has been put under pressure by peers that made him lost interest in eating.

Difficulty In Concentrating

Stress, anxiety, and other mental illnesses affect the brain negatively, and the usual first symptom of this is the loss of concentration and forgetfulness. Your child may not be as attentive as he was before.

This behavior may also stem from a lack of or excessive sleeping. Constant fear and trauma affect anyone’s sleeping pattern. Your child may only want to sleep all day to escape from something (which could be a problem in his studies or pressure from the wrong peers). Your child may be sleeping very late because of constant worry and fear.

Aggression  

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Extreme disobedience and hyperactivity usually characterize aggression. You as the parent should notice this as soon as your child disobeys your orders. This behavior may stem from the fact that his peers are aggressive or that maybe he is a victim of cyberbullying; thus, the tendency to bully other children too.

Children with this problem should be disciplined not just in your home but also in school. Your child needs discipline right away, but it is also vital that you trace the underlying problem for such physical aggression.

Excessive Fears, Worries, And Negative Outlook

Overthinking is one of the most subtle signs of an impending mental illness. Indeed it may only be a state of mind but worrying about future and often imaginary events is a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Such worries and fears may also be related to unusual sleeping patterns, unexplained weight loss, sweating and chills, and shortness of breath. This symptom, if not appropriately addressed, will become a serious problem to your child because there’s a tendency that he will avoid ordinary and usual situations for overthinking. It will, in turn, interrupt his routine and eventually social relationships. 

Social Withdrawal 

The first sign of this symptom is your child’s separation anxiety. True enough, it is the natural tendency of children to cry and feel anxious about getting separated from their parents, but as they grow up, they should at least show some sense of independence slowly. If this is not the case, then your child may be having some social anxiety.

This behavior should be addressed right away because social anxiety will make it hard for your child to go to school and socialize with his peers. It will be difficult for your child as he will deliberately isolate himself from people and he may become prone to bullying. If this continues, then he will not be able to enjoy normal activities that his peers are doing.

It is a given fact that kids and their parents have lesser time for each other nowadays. However, it is not enough that you only check for physical and intellectual aspects of your child during your quality time together. Better mental health, as they say, should be a foundation of a competent and robust individual in the long run.

 

How To Avoid Bullying Your Own Kids Unintentionally

Being a part of a close-knit family may seem envy-worthy for people who did not grow up connected with their parents, siblings, and other relatives. After all, the idea is that if someone picks a fight with you, you won’t have to face your enemy alone. The entire brood will back you up in any way possible. In case you don’t feel okay, or something is bothering you, your folks will sense it before you even tell them.

Despite the realness of that, though, it is no secret that some children in a family become distant as they get older. Their friends cannot understand the reason, especially if the mom and dad appear to be genuinely sweet and caring. The parents, of course, do not see the logic behind it either and assume that their son or daughter is merely acting up.

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Based on experience, yours honestly can say that some people fail to realize that their words or actions tend to bully their kids, albeit unintentionally. Since children are not supposed to talk back – and everyone only tells them to watch out for bullies at school – they bottle up their hurt emotions and end up distancing themselves from their parents.

Now, whether you know that you are bullying your kids or not, you ought to understand the different ways to avoid doing so.

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  1. Stop Teasing The Children About Their Weight All The Time

The first thing that messes up with the youngsters’ brain is the thought that they are fat and that it’s something to be laughed at. Comments like “You are the heaviest in your class” or “Your tummy is bulging” can inflict pain to them emotionally. Over time, that may feel worse than hearing it from their peers and other folks.

Considering you are genuinely concerned about their weight, you should talk to the kids about dieting and exercising. Making fun of them in hopes of it triggering their desire to lose extra pounds will not be fruitful. It may even cause them to develop depression or eating disorder upon thinking that their family members always laugh about their weight issues.

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  1. Do Not Compare Your Kids To Each Other

It is not acceptable to make comparisons between your children and often mention who’s better at what activity. Some say, “Why can’t you be smart like your sister?” or “You are not as handsome as your brother.” Though such words may sometimes come out of frustrations, some parents assume that they are merely stating a fact.

Truth or not, however, moms and dads are in no position to compare their kids to each other. One may think that their parents favor the other, and so they don’t feel like it’s necessary for them to return to the family home once they become adults. That is what causes rivalry to form between the youngsters, which can later make them drift apart permanently.

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  1. Avoid Forcing The Children To Get Straight As

Another issue with perfectionist parents is that they push the kids to excel in academics. Their driving force may be the reality that they used to get top marks themselves back then or their grades were below satisfactory, so they don’t want their children to experience that too.

The thing is, your offspring is their own person. It is unideal to force them to be like you or to do what you were unable to do. After all, what if the talents of your child lie beyond the four corners of their classroom? What if, after years of putting up with your pushing until the 12th grade, they ditch university since they feel tired of studying already?

In case you don’t stop doing that, you might jeopardize the children’s future even further.

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  1. Try Not To Overshow Tough Love

Whenever kids toe the line, it seems okay to take away their toys for a while or keep them from playing outside. Slapping a child’s hand lightly is quite acceptable at times as well, considering they touched something dangerous. However, you should never strike them anywhere else, no matter how angry or frustrated you may be.

The reason is that corporal punishments tend to mess up children badly, according to a few studies. Those who always get punished end up either developing a mental health illness or growing apart from their parents who inflicted pain on them. They are also prone to becoming bullies to their own kids too, thinking that that’s all right since their mom and dad did that before.

Final Thoughts

There are a million ways to show your love for your children, but it only takes one repeating act to alter their perspective in life. Be careful of everything you say; think before doing or mentioning something in front of your kids. Otherwise, you might be bullying them already without knowing it.

 

The Solution-Focused Therapy Concept

US schools use solution-focused therapy. What is solution-focused therapy? What’s the benefit of this kind of treatment?

Solution-Focused Therapy

Solution-Focused Therapy

But what are the issues of school kids that may require treatment or therapy?

Well, for one, it centers on finding an immediate solution to a problem, according to the therapy treatment manual. With that, issues of kids at school such as relationship problems are dealt with quickly using a focused approach, often referred to as SFBT (Solution Focused Brief Therapy).

Some schools employ one social worker, usually a licensed therapist, to assist with students’ mental health problems such as clients managing trauma.

solution-focused therapy
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In some institutions, there is one social worker per grade level. But in most cases, one professional will have to handle hundreds or near to a thousand students who seek therapy process all year long, as well as answers to the miracle question.

What are these issues that need handling and possibly Solution-Focused Therapy?

(Read this article for more knowledge on SFT.)

Some Issues That Solution-Focused Therapy Address Are The Following:

1. Child Behavioral Problems (ASD, ADHD, and the like)

2. Learning disabilities

3. Emotional issues

4. Academic problems

5. Drug or alcohol use

6. Poverty

7. Bullying

8. Teenage sex and pregnancy

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Why Is SFT Useful For These Concerns?

There are techniques that qualified SF therapists can utilize based on the program and find solutions to these problems mentioned.

Who will find the answers, you ask? It’s not the SFBT therapist. The students will be the ones presenting problems and issues, processing them, and finding solutions or viable ways to solve them.

The SFT practitioners will facilitate the therapy session and use techniques (coping questions or future-focused questions) so that the students will look into themselves and their strengths to end the problem with an affirmative answer. This is the SFBT approach.

There are at least seven important techniques that a qualified counselor can use every time a child is in need of a SFT approach.

A focused brief therapy SFBT counselor should assist children to discern their strengths in finding answers through problem-solving activities.

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SFBT is a goal-directed therapeutic intervention process,  therapy evidence-based approach.

It is future-oriented and incorporates positive psychology principles and practices.

For example: How can children make things better from their end?

How can they improve this situation that they have now?

If there is a way to solve this problem and come up with positive things, what do they think it will be?

A Counselor Should Use Miracle Questions

For example: Let’s say by miracle, all troubles and concerns are gone instantly.

But then they woke up, and it was all a dream.

Something is different in them.

What do they think will be that different thing?

A solution-focused therapist should use scaling questions.

If they are in a hospital bed and experiencing pain, the doctor will ask them, on a scale of 1 to 10, how painful is their body right now. This approach is similar to solution focused brief therapy in the mental health field, where professionals assess the client’s situation to find immediate solutions. And then, of course, they’ll answer it with how they feel so that the doctor can treat them (based on the client’s life experiences and client’s situation). The concept of solution focused strategies, much like focused brief therapy, aims to address the issue promptly and efficiently.

In previous SFBT associations, it is somewhat the same.

For example, 10 is the goal of children which they must attain and solve the child’s behavioral problems. But of course, they have to pass through 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and so on, until they reach ten.

If they are still somewhere below ten, the mental health professionals will have to ask – How can they go from five to six? What actions must they take to do that?

A Solution-Focused Therapist should help set their objective to resolve the issue with goal-oriented questions.

For example: After this session, what do children think will happen? What do they want to happen? What must be done differently?

A counselor will have to suggest to the children that behavioral changes must happen soon, a person must act on it, and create a systematic qualitative review solution. This will ensure improved good behavior.

Solution-Focused Therapy
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A Counselor Must Ask Exceptional Questions

A miracle question can start with: Give me a reason as to when this type of problem doesn’t occur. How was it different from the situation now? What made it better? What changed?

A solution-focused therapist should provide breaks and gives indirect compliments during SFT sessions.

It doesn’t have to be a long break – just three to five minutes will do. A family process therapy center counselor must commend children on their coping skills and ability, and compliment them on their persistence and sociability. This method, inspired by Steve de Shazer, the co-founder of therapy SFBT, often incorporates tools like the miracle question to help clients envision the changes they’d like to see.

A solution-focused treatment should end the therapy with solution-focused homework.

There are more than seven techniques used in this specific brief family therapy center treatment, but the detailed description of these controlled outcome studies and research measures mentioned are most active on young students.

In as short as three to five sessions, children will find the means to solve problems and surprisingly, a way for them to not repeat past life events.

Indeed, learning the effectiveness of SFT with key concepts in a school setting is helpful, especially if in constructive collaboration with other psychiatric treatment programs.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Is The Main Concept Of The SFT Approach?

The main concept of the SFT approach, also known as focused brief therapy SFBT, is to emphasize solutions rather than problems, helping clients visualize and work towards desired outcomes. This approach was co-developed by Insoo Kim Berg, along with Steve de Shazer, emphasizing the importance of clients’ strengths and resources.

What Is The Difference Between CBT And SFT?

What Is An Example Of An SFT Approach?

How Do You Explain SFT To A Client?

Which Techniques Are Commonly Used In SFT Approaches?

How Is SFT Helpful?

How Many Sessions Does SFBT Have?

What Are The Types Of Questions That Are Used In The SFT Approach?

Who is SFT not good for?
What is a criticism of SFT?
Is a solution-focused approach an evidence-based practice?
How Does SFT empower clients?
What are the three rules of a solution-focused approach?
What are solution-focused interventions?
Who is SFT best for?