How Not To Give Your Kids Mental Health Problems

I have been a fan of Demi Lovato ever since her Camp Rock days. I used to think that she was telling the story of my life through some of her hit songs, such as Skyscraper, Warrior, and Give Your Heart A Break. Then, before singing Let It Go, she released the Gift Of A Friend, which was an OST for one of the Tinker Bell movies. Up to this day, whenever I needed music to pump my energy and wake me up, Demi’s songs would be blasting through my speakers, I would sing along at the top of my lungs. (Don’t judge me!)

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The thing is, I am among those fans who continue to support someone’s music despite their questionable behavior. However, as the years passed, I could not help but notice that the pop star’s image started going dark. Everyone thought that it was an artistic move, but then Demi admitted to drinking and abusing substances, to the extent that she needed to sign up to a rehabilitation facility.

What’s triggering her to do all that despite the outpouring of love and support from her fans, you might ask? Well, it was evident in a couple of songs like Father and For The Love Of A Daughter from the Unbroken album that Demi had deep-seated resentment towards her father. Even though he already passed away, she could not get over the trauma that he caused to her as a child.

Reality Check

Many people could relate to Demi Lovato’s life story, considering many came from broken families. To say that they merely had Daddy issues was undermining the reality that a parent’s action could leave a lasting impression on a child. It would have been cool if it made the latter wiser or want to have better relations, but that’s not the case. Such an experience often caused the kids to develop mental health problems.

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As a mother, it was challenging to imagine my kids going through the same thing as my favorite pop star. Demi’s family must feel helpless when they learned about her struggles but could not do much to help her get over them. If I was in their position, I might have cried day and night and never left my children out of my sight.

Nevertheless, since the kids were still too young, I tried to think of the things I could do to ensure that I won’t give them mental health problems.

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Watch The Words

Before having kids, I used to be more carefree with my word choices. It was effortless for my friends and me to hurl the F word to each other whenever we met as if it was the most normal thing to do. We also made insensitive comments about various people or things that I admittedly did not think about before.

But when I gave birth to a smart little girl who went through a lengthy phase of copying everything she heard, my husband and I became more mindful of our words. We wanted to shield her from F-bombs as much as we could and preserve her innocence. After all, the worst-case scenario was that our kid would end up a racist or depressive person.

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Avoid Fighting In Front Of The Children

No one—not even me—could have a perfect marriage. Although our fights happened every four months or so, my husband and I made a pact that we would only argue away from the children’s eyes. Whenever we’re in front of them, we always tried to be peaceful and loving so that that’s what our kids would learn to be while growing up.

Sometimes, it was difficult to hide my annoyance or frustration because guys tend to do silly things that they didn’t know were silly. For instance, my husband mixed the whites with colored clothes when I asked him to do the laundry one time. No matter how I wanted to yell at him, I practically smiled through it all. The only consolation was that our kids would not have traumatic memories of us fighting in front of them.

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Stay Away From Vices

Before having kids, I smoked and enjoyed happy hour at bars every week. I always knew my limits, but it felt as if I could not live without cigarettes and alcohol. The same goes for my husband.

When the children came, we stopped using both substances at once because they were probably causes of congenital disabilities and diseases. The sudden change was more challenging for my husband since he did not need to carry our babies full term. However, once he saw our angels, I did not have to ask him twice—he stayed away from vices immediately.

Final Thoughts

I could not tell if our combined efforts would be practical until our kids probably turn 18 years old. But as far as I could see, they were open to us about their issues. I guess that’s a promising start.

 

Bad Practices That Could Harm Your Children

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The consequences of the choices we make in life become heavier once we become parents. The habits we keep will affect not only us but also our children. The things we do around our kids may have lasting, adverse effects on them.

For the sake of our young ones, let’s look at some harmful practices we need to quit.

Destructive Conflict

Many parents will make the mistake of vowing not to fight in front of their kids. The reality is that it’s going to happen eventually. While this may sound like something that can harm your kids, it’s not actually all that bad. Arguments become harmful if you deal with conflict destructively.

We tend to picture parents fighting as two people yelling, throwing things, and lashing out at each other. This hostility can cause children to become troubled, anxious, and stressed. They tend to become insecure and withdrawn. For others, they act out and develop problems at school as well as at home.

Conversely, a better approach is to have a mature conversation where you discuss things like adults. Your children will also go through conflict throughout their life. They will need to learn how to deal with these situations appropriately and effectively.

Overreacting

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Have you ever wondered why kids don’t tell you things or why teenagers have to lie about what they do? Often, this stems from a fear of how their parents will react. Perhaps mom and dad found out about that broken plate and went ballistic.

It’s precisely this outburst of emotions that pushes them away from us. Overreacting to our children’s mistakes can make them fearful of us. Instead of coming to us for help or to open up, they’ll try their best to cover things up. This practice will only create kids who act out and are quick to become upset.

Before you get angry over spilled milk or a broken vase, get down and help your kid clean up. Teach them how to be more cautious, but don’t blow up over small things such as this. Otherwise, they’ll be too scared of making mistakes.

Hiding Your Emotions

While we mentioned that it could be harmful to overreact, that doesn’t mean that you should mask your emotions either. While you shouldn’t yell at your kids over small things, it doesn’t help to lie about how you feel. This practice will make them confused about their feelings. 

Show your kids your sentiments and how to deal with them. If you experience loss, teach them that it’s okay to be sad. Being positive all the time can be harmful because it sets an unreasonable standard of happiness. It is not the only emotion we should be allowed to feel.

Trying To Solve Everything

As hard as it is to resist, parents have to stop trying to be superheroes to their kids. We shouldn’t try to solve everything for our children.

This practice will do nothing but teach them that we will deal with every road bump they face. As much as we want to be the people they run to for help, they may become too dependent.

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Instead of swooping in all the time, teach them how to deal with problems and conflict. It’s another one of those situations where the “teach a man how to fish” saying comes into play.

The things we do around our kids will leave lasting effects on them until their adulthood. As parents, we have to do our best, even if it means breaking bad habits that are hard to quit. The sooner we kick these types of behavior to the curb, the better mothers and fathers we can be.

 

Tips For Parents In Managing Parent–Teacher Conferences

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In the middle of the school year, teachers usually invite parents to discuss their child’s accomplishments and areas of improvement. These are called parent–teacher conferences, and they typically happen after releasing the report cards of the students. No matter how important these initiatives are, some parents do not attend these conferences because they do not know what to do in these situations.

In here, we will provide you with tips on how to make the most out of these meetings.

Talk To Your Child Beforehand

Before you attend the parent–teacher conference, you have to set an open discussion with your child to talk about the problems they are experiencing in school. This exercise will allow you to see your child’s perspective to represent his or her interest in the meeting better. Your conversation can also be an avenue for you to set academic and co-curricular goals with your child come the next school days.

Be Prepared

Do not entirely rely on the things the teacher will present to you. You also have to investigate on your own by checking their grades and performance beforehand. You can do this by reading the comments on the report card or viewing the school’s student portal. Make sure to research and study what the academic benchmarks should be depending on your child’s school level and cross-check this with what they’re doing in school.

In addition, come up with a list of questions you can ask the teacher so that you can have a better picture of your child’s performance. Some of these include the following:

  • Does my child submit his homework on time?
  • Does my child actively participate in all of his classes?
  • What are my kid’s weakest and strongest subjects? How do you say so?
  • Is my child happy at school, or do you feel that some issues are bothering him?
  • What can I do to improve his school performance?
  • Does my child get along with his classmates?

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Treat The Teacher As A Confidant Instead Of An Opponent

Some parents tend to be defensive when teachers bring out concerns about their child. They display this kind of combative mindset because they passionately want their children to achieve their goal. But to help your child, you have to stop treating the teacher as an opponent. Instead, consider him or her as a partner. Come up with ways which can help your child get the best education opportunities for his growth and success.

Execute The Action Plan

Make sure to immediately implement the action plan you agreed on with the teacher. Discuss this with your child and make him or her understand its importance. You also have to set up key performance indicators and track his or her progress through this.

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Communicate With The Teacher

Your partnership does not stop after the parent–teacher conference. Make sure that you still stay in touch with the teacher throughout the school year and regularly schedule checkup sessions where you can discuss the student’s growth.

Not all parent–teacher meetings are structured the same way. However, you can apply all of the points listed above to every conference no matter what your child’s grade level or age is.

 

Family Therapist Urges Us To Know Our Kid’s Temperament

Every kid comes with their personality. Each of them has their ways of approaching people and situations. Family therapists encourage parents to study their children’s temperaments because it describes the child’s adaptability and emotional style. Parents can adapt their parenting style to their child’s personalities.

Why Parents Should Learn About Temperaments

Parents will be able to strategize the best way to connect and handle their children. It also gives them a firmer grasp of their kid’s personality, and parents will appreciate the uniqueness of their child.

With a more in-depth understanding, they can better deal with their child’s skills and limitations. Parents who are aware of their child’s temperament are more prepared in anticipating problems that might trigger the child. They can help the child by guiding and readying him for the challenge he or she will face.

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Temperament

Temperament is a group of innate traits that influence how people approach the world. It is a necessary tool in the development of a child’s personality. It also dictates how children will learn and absorb the world around him. Temperaments do not dictate whether a child is “good” or “bad.” Instead, it influences the child’s perception of whether his actions are “good” or “bad.”

In identifying, your child’s temperament, we look at the nine significant characteristics that signify whether a child is difficult to raise.

Activity Level

This identifier is the level of physical activity and restlessness demonstrated in the child’s behavior based on his daily activities. You may observe if the child can settle down with a quiet, sedentary game. If he is more inclined to play sports, then he has high activity levels. Highly active children can grow their careers in fast-paced environments.

Regularity

Regularity or rhythmicity describes the patterns in the child’s physical functions. This trait is evident in the child’s appetite, sleep patterns, and even bowel movements. For example, parents can anticipate when their child gets hungry throughout the day. Children who do not have predictable habits can grow and thrive in careers with unusual working hours.

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Approach And Withdrawal

This trait determines a child’s initial response to new stimuli. The child may either react rapidly or hesitantly to unfamiliar situations, new people, places, or food. Children who are cautious of strange scenarios tend to think before they act.

Adaptability

Adaptability focuses on how the child responds to changes in routine or transitions. This characteristic enlightens parents on the degree of ease or difficulty with which a child adjusts to new situations. It also involves the child’s ability to modify their reaction towards the change. Children who take a longer time to become comfortable in new cases grow to be less influenced by peer pressure.

Intensity

The child either responds positively or negatively to certain situations. Intensity is the level of energy the child reacts to events. For example, parents can observe when their child gets upset. Does the child tend to get quiet, or do they respond dramatically? More intense children may be gifted with a talent for the arts and may be more in touch with their emotions.

Mood

The degree of pleasantness or unfriendliness observed in a child’s words or behaviors determines their mood. For example, children can view opportunities as half full or half empty. Parents can decide if their child is inclined to look at life more negatively or more positively. Thoughtful children tend to assess situations analytically and carefully.

Attention Span

Attention span or persistence is the ability of the child to concentrate on a task with or without distraction. Children with longer attention spans can focus more compared to those who cannot focus on the task at hand.

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Distractibility

Distractibility is the ease with which a child can concentrate and pay attention when they are not particularly interested in the activity. Some children are easily distracted from a task by environmental stimuli, whether visual or auditory. A child with high distractibility is favorable as the child’s attention can be diverted from unwanted behavior. In a negative light, high distractibility prevents a child from accomplishing assignments.

Sensory Threshold

The sensory threshold is the child’s sensitivity to stimuli like sound, taste, touch, or temperature. It determines what amount of physical stimulation is needed for a child to respond. Some children react with the slightest stimulation, while others need intense amounts of stimuli.

Temperaments help parents get a glimpse of their kid’s personality, triggers, strengths, and weaknesses. Parents can capitalize on these dispositions by guiding and teaching them how to deal with adversities and challenges properly. They can steer kids in the right direction and become people who can adjust to the environment surrounding them.

How To Be The Best Parent Ever

The moment you become a parent, everything in your life suddenly changes. You will be surprised by how your priorities can change in an instant. You also become selfless because all that would matter is your child’s best interest. You want nothing but to provide him with everything – basically a wonderful and beautiful life. However, according to a study conducted by a psychologist, it is not an easy thing to do especially when some factors are out of your control. Nonetheless, you must not give up easily because there are tons of ways on how you can become the best parent to your kid.

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Here are some of the things to keep in mind:

 

Make Time For Your Child

 

No matter how demanding your work or business is, be sure to never replace your family with it. Take note that no amount of money can make you buy a second or a minute of time. Even if you are the richest person in this world, you can never bring back time. As such, it is crucial that you always prioritize spending quality time with your kid. Never make him doubt about your love and care for him. At the same time, avoid giving him an opportunity to seek comfort from other people who cannot be trusted or who only have bad intentions for him.

 

Show Your Love And Affection

 

In connection with the item discussed above, you must see to it that you will never fail to remind your kid how much he means to you. Let him know that you love him by using kind words when talking to him or caring for his day-to-day needs. As much as possible, avoid leaving his care to some random people or even nannies. Keep in mind that what he needs is your full attention. Every night before he goes to sleep, make sure to tell him sweet words like “I love you” or “I care for you.” These things can make him feel that he is a well-loved individual. It can positively affect his growth.

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Teach Him Life Lessons

 

As a parent, it is only typical for you to aim that he develops into a mature and loving individual. An excellent way of making this happen is to teach him life lessons every now and then. Take note that every situation with your child presents an opportunity for learning. Do not spoil your child with toys or material things. Instead, focus on teaching him the correct values that can shape him to becoming a better person. Always remember that your parenting style can be reflected in who your child is going to become when he grows up. Hence, it is vital for you to see to it that he knows what is wrong and evil.

 

Give Room For Error

 

Never pressure your child into becoming a perfect individual because it can only drive him away from you. The right thing to do is to understand that he is only a kid and has little idea on how to live life. It is the primary reason why your guidance and assistance are essential during his childhood. Whenever he commits a mistake, do not get angry right away or nag for the whole day to make him feel bad. Instead, talk to him about why what he did was wrong and make him understand that he shall never do it again. Be a loving parent who can accept his mistakes.

 

Go On Vacation With Him

 

Another parenting tip that you must never forget is to go on a vacation with him. This method of spending more time with him will help not only your child but also yourself. Keep in mind that you also deserve to relax and rest. It is okay to get exhausted about becoming a parent because you are only human. Hence, be brave to take a break from whatever keeps you busy in the city and go out of town with your family. Do whatever it takes to chill so that you can recharge and become a better version of yourself the moment you come back. Explore beautiful places together.

 

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Becoming a parent is an opportunity that you must enjoy and love. Always remember that there is nothing in this world that you could not do as a mother or father!

 

Should Parents Try Therapy Online?

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Parents are known to take good care of their children and the entire family. They are the ones who work hard to ensure that there is always food on the table and that the kids feel loved at all times. However, some of us fail to ask if these parents are doing fine with everything that they have to do. Since they care too much for their children, then the proper question to ask is who is going to look after them? The truth is that many parents suffer from anxiety and depression because of too much pressure from society. If you are one of these mothers or fathers, it is best to consider therapy online. 

In this article, our primary focus would be about online therapy and how it can help a struggling parent like you. First of all, it is vital or crucial for you to accept the reality that you get exhausted or tired at times. Take note that it is entirely okay to feel this way because you are not a robot. Remember that you do everything for the ones you love, and it is not a mistake to want something for yourself. As such, do not feel guilty in case you need to seek professional help such as counseling or therapy. Below are the top reasons why you have to try online therapy as soon as possible. 

Determine Your Issues 

The saddest part about feeling extreme grief or exhaustion is not to know the cause behind it. You will feel frustrated and helpless because you have no idea on how to approach your issues. In the first place, you are not even aware of what they are. For this reason, it is best to speak to an online therapist who can help you process everything that you are going through. With the online sessions, you will begin to see a clearer picture of your current situation in life.

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Get Over Negative Emotions

 As already emphasized above, it is normal to have negative feelings in your life as a parent. It does not make you a bad person, but instead, it shows that you are not a superhero who can withstand everything. There are days when you want to withdraw from the mess or chaos in your parenting life and get the rest you deserve. Fortunately, this is something that an online therapist can do. This professional can help you confront negative emotions until you eliminate them in your life. 

Makes You A Better Person

 Another significant advantage of seeking professional help is getting an opportunity to become a better version of yourself. Keep in mind that online therapy sessions are designed to help individuals understand themselves even more. Because of this, it becomes easier for you to pinpoint all the wrong attitude and personality that you have. When this happens, you will begin to think of other ways on how you can transform for the better. If this continues to take place or happen for a long time, you will be better and happier at parenting. 

Provides Help At Your Convenience

Did you know that appointments or meetings with a therapist are costly? This becomes more expensive as you need to visit them in their office, which means that you have to spend on transportation fees and other miscellaneous expenses. On the contrary, if you will go for online therapy sessions, you can have them at the convenience of your own home. There is no necessity to leave your house before you can receive the help or guidance of a therapist. As such, you can expect your fees to be lower. At the same time, seeing a therapist won’t be difficult as all you need to do is to go online on your scheduled digital session.

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 Conclusion

While parenting can be fun and rewarding, do not forget the significance of caring for yourself every once in a while. Accept the fact that you need to try therapy online if it means helping yourself to become better. Stop thinking that therapy is only for the weak. Even strong persons like you may see the need to look for professional help in times of dire need. Do not have second thoughts in givingit a try.

 

Signs That Your Child’s Mental Health Is Declining

The mental strength and emotional ability of each one of us start at home during our childhood years. Mental health of every member of the family should, therefore, be one of the parents’ priorities. It should not be a reason for one to feel as if it is an embarrassment. Are you worried about the stigma? Ask or get help from a therapist online then. It’s as simple as it is.

Your child may be physically and intellectually excelling in school but have you checked his mental health lately? The symptoms are not easy to spot especially if the parent is uneducated about the importance of subtle signs of declining mental health. To start, here are a few warning signs that you should look for:

Sudden Mood Changes

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Your child may be happy and energetic one moment then he turns irritable the next without any immediate cause. This behavior, however, should not be confused with the natural tendency of children to have tantrums.

Sudden outbursts of feelings and emotions coming entirely out of nowhere may be an early symptom of your child having a bipolar disorder. This conduct should be treated as early as possible because this may be a reason for substance abuse, aggressiveness in public, and interruption of daily activities.

Loss Of Appetite 

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Losing appetite can result in extreme weight loss which can give rise to different physical complications. A person who is not feeling any hunger for days may be experiencing anxiety, trauma, or extreme stress. Check if your child is experiencing any difficulty in school or maybe he has been put under pressure by peers that made him lost interest in eating.

Difficulty In Concentrating

Stress, anxiety, and other mental illnesses affect the brain negatively, and the usual first symptom of this is the loss of concentration and forgetfulness. Your child may not be as attentive as he was before.

This behavior may also stem from a lack of or excessive sleeping. Constant fear and trauma affect anyone’s sleeping pattern. Your child may only want to sleep all day to escape from something (which could be a problem in his studies or pressure from the wrong peers). Your child may be sleeping very late because of constant worry and fear.

Aggression  

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Extreme disobedience and hyperactivity usually characterize aggression. You as the parent should notice this as soon as your child disobeys your orders. This behavior may stem from the fact that his peers are aggressive or that maybe he is a victim of cyberbullying; thus, the tendency to bully other children too.

Children with this problem should be disciplined not just in your home but also in school. Your child needs discipline right away, but it is also vital that you trace the underlying problem for such physical aggression.

Excessive Fears, Worries, And Negative Outlook

Overthinking is one of the most subtle signs of an impending mental illness. Indeed it may only be a state of mind but worrying about future and often imaginary events is a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Such worries and fears may also be related to unusual sleeping patterns, unexplained weight loss, sweating and chills, and shortness of breath. This symptom, if not appropriately addressed, will become a serious problem to your child because there’s a tendency that he will avoid ordinary and usual situations for overthinking. It will, in turn, interrupt his routine and eventually social relationships. 

Social Withdrawal 

The first sign of this symptom is your child’s separation anxiety. True enough, it is the natural tendency of children to cry and feel anxious about getting separated from their parents, but as they grow up, they should at least show some sense of independence slowly. If this is not the case, then your child may be having some social anxiety.

This behavior should be addressed right away because social anxiety will make it hard for your child to go to school and socialize with his peers. It will be difficult for your child as he will deliberately isolate himself from people and he may become prone to bullying. If this continues, then he will not be able to enjoy normal activities that his peers are doing.

It is a given fact that kids and their parents have lesser time for each other nowadays. However, it is not enough that you only check for physical and intellectual aspects of your child during your quality time together. Better mental health, as they say, should be a foundation of a competent and robust individual in the long run.

 

How To Avoid Bullying Your Own Kids Unintentionally

Being a part of a close-knit family may seem envy-worthy for people who did not grow up connected with their parents, siblings, and other relatives. After all, the idea is that if someone picks a fight with you, you won’t have to face your enemy alone. The entire brood will back you up in any way possible. In case you don’t feel okay, or something is bothering you, your folks will sense it before you even tell them.

Despite the realness of that, though, it is no secret that some children in a family become distant as they get older. Their friends cannot understand the reason, especially if the mom and dad appear to be genuinely sweet and caring. The parents, of course, do not see the logic behind it either and assume that their son or daughter is merely acting up.

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Based on experience, yours honestly can say that some people fail to realize that their words or actions tend to bully their kids, albeit unintentionally. Since children are not supposed to talk back – and everyone only tells them to watch out for bullies at school – they bottle up their hurt emotions and end up distancing themselves from their parents.

Now, whether you know that you are bullying your kids or not, you ought to understand the different ways to avoid doing so.

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  1. Stop Teasing The Children About Their Weight All The Time

The first thing that messes up with the youngsters’ brain is the thought that they are fat and that it’s something to be laughed at. Comments like “You are the heaviest in your class” or “Your tummy is bulging” can inflict pain to them emotionally. Over time, that may feel worse than hearing it from their peers and other folks.

Considering you are genuinely concerned about their weight, you should talk to the kids about dieting and exercising. Making fun of them in hopes of it triggering their desire to lose extra pounds will not be fruitful. It may even cause them to develop depression or eating disorder upon thinking that their family members always laugh about their weight issues.

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  1. Do Not Compare Your Kids To Each Other

It is not acceptable to make comparisons between your children and often mention who’s better at what activity. Some say, “Why can’t you be smart like your sister?” or “You are not as handsome as your brother.” Though such words may sometimes come out of frustrations, some parents assume that they are merely stating a fact.

Truth or not, however, moms and dads are in no position to compare their kids to each other. One may think that their parents favor the other, and so they don’t feel like it’s necessary for them to return to the family home once they become adults. That is what causes rivalry to form between the youngsters, which can later make them drift apart permanently.

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  1. Avoid Forcing The Children To Get Straight As

Another issue with perfectionist parents is that they push the kids to excel in academics. Their driving force may be the reality that they used to get top marks themselves back then or their grades were below satisfactory, so they don’t want their children to experience that too.

The thing is, your offspring is their own person. It is unideal to force them to be like you or to do what you were unable to do. After all, what if the talents of your child lie beyond the four corners of their classroom? What if, after years of putting up with your pushing until the 12th grade, they ditch university since they feel tired of studying already?

In case you don’t stop doing that, you might jeopardize the children’s future even further.

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  1. Try Not To Overshow Tough Love

Whenever kids toe the line, it seems okay to take away their toys for a while or keep them from playing outside. Slapping a child’s hand lightly is quite acceptable at times as well, considering they touched something dangerous. However, you should never strike them anywhere else, no matter how angry or frustrated you may be.

The reason is that corporal punishments tend to mess up children badly, according to a few studies. Those who always get punished end up either developing a mental health illness or growing apart from their parents who inflicted pain on them. They are also prone to becoming bullies to their own kids too, thinking that that’s all right since their mom and dad did that before.

Final Thoughts

There are a million ways to show your love for your children, but it only takes one repeating act to alter their perspective in life. Be careful of everything you say; think before doing or mentioning something in front of your kids. Otherwise, you might be bullying them already without knowing it.

 

Solution Focused Therapy Techniques (In A School Setting)

In the United States, schools have used solution-focused therapy or SFT as an intervention program. Some reports also stated that since the early 1990s, educational institutions in Canada, Europe, Australia, South Africa, China and Taiwan were also practicing SFT. And why is that? Well, for one, solution-focused therapy centers on finding an immediate solution to a problem. With that, issues of kids at school are dealt with quickly. 

 

What Are The Issues Of School Kids That May Require SFT?

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Some schools employ one social worker, usually a licensed counselor, to assist with student problems. In some institutions, there is one social worker per grade level. But in most cases, one professional will have to handle hundreds or near to a thousand students all year long. What are these issues that need handling, and possibly solution-focused therapy? (Read this article for more knowledge on SFT.)

 

Some issues are as follows:

 

 

How Can SFT Help With These Issues?

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Why is SFT useful for these concerns? There are techniques that a qualified SFT counselor can utilize based on the program that will ultimately find solutions to these problems mentioned. 

 

Who will find the solutions, you ask? It’s not the counselor. The student in therapy will identify his issue, process it and find a viable way to solve it. The counselor will facilitate the meeting and use techniques (questions) so that the student in therapy will look into himself and his strengths to end the problem with an affirmative answer. This is the purpose of SFT.

 

Techniques Used In Solution-Focused Therapy Sessions

 

There are at least seven important techniques that a qualified therapist or counselor can use every time there is a child in need of SFT in school. 

 

 1. The therapist will have to assist the child in searching for his strengths and skills to find solutions to his issues. For example: How can you make things better from your end? How can you improve this situation that you have now? If there is a way to solve this problem, what do you think will it be?

 

2. The therapist will have to use miracle questions. For example: Let’s say by miracle, all your troubles and concerns are gone instantly. But then you wake up, and it was all a dream. Something is different in you. What do you think will be that different thing?

 

3. The therapist will have to use scaling questions. If you are in a hospital bed and experiencing pain, the doctor will ask you, on a scale of 1 to 10, how painful is your body right now? And then, of course, you answer it with how you feel so that the doctor can treat you. In SFT, it is somewhat the same. 

 

For example, 10 is the goal of the child in therapy in which he must attain and solve the issue. But of course, he has to pass through 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and so on, until he reaches ten. If he is still somewhere below ten, then the counselor will have to ask – How can you go from five to six? What actions must you take to do that?

 

4. The therapist will have to help the person set his objective to resolve the issue by asking goal-directed questions. For example: After this session, what do you think will happen? What do you want to happen? What must be done differently? The therapist will have to suggest to the child in therapy that change must happen soon, the person must act on it, and create a solution.

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5. The therapist must ask exception questions. For example: Give me a reason as to when this type of problem doesn’t occur? How was it different from the situation now? What made it better? What changed?

 

6. The therapist will have to take a break and compliment the kid in therapy. It doesn’t have to be a long break – just three to five minutes will do. The therapist must commend the child with his coping skills and ability, and compliment him on his persistence and sociability. 

 

 

7. The therapist will have to end the session with a therapy-related homework. 

 

 

There are more than seven techniques used in solution-focused therapy, but these measures mentioned are most active on young students. In as short as three to five sessions, the children will find the means to solve their problems and surprisingly, a way for them to not repeat the past. Indeed, SFT in a school setting is helpful, especially if in conjunction with other therapy programs. 

Pediatric Counseling: Things You Should Never Tell Your Child

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Pediatric counseling tells us that parenting is not an easy task, especially when you are trying to impose something on your child. You have to make sure that your words are easily understood. It shouldn’t create emotional or psychological damage at all cost. That’s why proper communication with your kid is essential. So what are those phrases that are an absolute no-no when it comes to dealing with your child’s behavioral problems? Keep reading, and you’ll soon find more about it.

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“You’ll Be Okay” 

If your child is upset about something, don’t assume that they will be okay. That’s the misconception of parenting. When parents think that their child’s emotional problem is not as substantial as theirs, it’s not going to help in developing a child’s confidence. In fact, it will only make it worst. Your child needs your help so he can get through with his emotional problems. So be there for him, acknowledge his feelings and try to listen.

“Let Me Do It” 

It is only natural for parents to help their child especially if they are struggling with something. However, offering direct help and doing it by yourself instead of letting your child figure it out on his own can set him up for failure in the future. It will undermine your child’s independence when you jump in too soon. As a result, they’ll develop an attitude that always depends on others for answers. So instead of being a hands-on parent, you need to support your child and let him grow up and become self-sufficient.

“Don’t Be Sad” 

You probably tell this to your kid most of the times, especially when he’s feeling low. However, you shouldn’t. A child suffers from a time of emotional rollercoaster, so there’s a need for emotional identification. They need to know that certain feeling exists and that they have to cope with it. Understanding how emotions create an impact on both mental and behavioral state should become one of his health priorities. Allow him to feel sad and let him develop emotional strength.

“You’re Incredibly Smart”

There’s a difference between inflated and honest praise. It’s perfectly reasonable to push your child and make him think that he can work things on his own. However, instilling in his mind that he’s never going to create a mistake is a dangerous approach. The over-exaggeration will lead to over-confidence and forms a boastful attitude. In some cases, inflated praise somehow puts even more pressure on a child leaving him with full of stress and anxiety.

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Setting an above standard when it comes to your child’s health creates a detrimental effect on their self-esteem. Let your child take on the challenges and support him at any cost without interfering with his developmental growth. Encourage him to do great on his own and let him understand the value of his own mistakes. This way, you’re not only giving him enough reasons to improve himself, but also providing him the sincere and honest compliment he deserves.