Pediatric Counseling: Things You Should Never Tell Your Child

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Pediatric counseling tells us that parenting is not an easy task, especially when you are trying to impose something on your child. You have to make sure that your words are easily understood. It shouldn’t create emotional or psychological damage at all cost. That’s why proper communication with your kid is essential. So what are those phrases that are an absolute no-no when it comes to dealing with your child’s behavioral problems? Keep reading, and you’ll soon find more about it.

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“You’ll Be Okay” 

If your child is upset about something, don’t assume that they will be okay. That’s the misconception of parenting. When parents think that their child’s emotional problem is not as substantial as theirs, it’s not going to help in developing a child’s confidence. In fact, it will only make it worst. Your child needs your help so he can get through with his emotional problems. So be there for him, acknowledge his feelings and try to listen.

“Let Me Do It” 

It is only natural for parents to help their child especially if they are struggling with something. However, offering direct help and doing it by yourself instead of letting your child figure it out on his own can set him up for failure in the future. It will undermine your child’s independence when you jump in too soon. As a result, they’ll develop an attitude that always depends on others for answers. So instead of being a hands-on parent, you need to support your child and let him grow up and become self-sufficient.

“Don’t Be Sad” 

You probably tell this to your kid most of the times, especially when he’s feeling low. However, you shouldn’t. A child suffers from a time of emotional rollercoaster, so there’s a need for emotional identification. They need to know that certain feeling exists and that they have to cope with it. Understanding how emotions create an impact on both mental and behavioral state should become one of his health priorities. Allow him to feel sad and let him develop emotional strength.

“You’re Incredibly Smart”

There’s a difference between inflated and honest praise. It’s perfectly reasonable to push your child and make him think that he can work things on his own. However, instilling in his mind that he’s never going to create a mistake is a dangerous approach. The over-exaggeration will lead to over-confidence and forms a boastful attitude. In some cases, inflated praise somehow puts even more pressure on a child leaving him with full of stress and anxiety.

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Setting an above standard when it comes to your child’s health creates a detrimental effect on their self-esteem. Let your child take on the challenges and support him at any cost without interfering with his developmental growth. Encourage him to do great on his own and let him understand the value of his own mistakes. This way, you’re not only giving him enough reasons to improve himself, but also providing him the sincere and honest compliment he deserves.

Parent’s Contribution To Their Child’s Behavior (Pediatric Counseling Discussion)

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Those of us who have children know that it takes a lot of time and effort in ensuring that our kids grow up well-mannered and educated. We try so hard to make them adaptive to their surroundings and make them appreciate life. However, though we don’t aim for perfection, we know that there are some child behaviors that we dangerously ignore. Here is the list of the top picks.

  • Rivalry Among Siblings

 

Though there’s a good side to having a friendly competition, it shouldn’t have to be the cause of your children’s misunderstanding. You need to ensure that your kids find a way to work as a team. Make them understand that resolving issues in a fair manner results in a stronger bond in the family relationship. Explain to them the importance of respect. Make them feel equally happy.  

 

  • Dishonesty

 

When you tend to notice your child’s dishonesty, avoid making conclusions. Let your child know the importance of telling the truth as well as the consequences associated with telling a lie. Make him understand that lying is unacceptable and it may cause issues in the relationship. Never allow dishonesty to become a norm so that it won’t become a serious problem. 

 

  • Whining

 

It’s normal for kids to seek attention, though sometimes it’s typically annoying. So before it becomes a habit, make sure you tell your kids that they have to understand the proper approach in asking for something. There should always have to be a boundary so they won’t act negatively towards any of your disapprovals. Discuss the situation with your child to avoid whining in the future. 

 

  • Disrespectful Attitude

 

Your child exposes himself to different kinds of people with diverse characters and personality, and sometimes, he ends up adapting to some of their disrespectful behaviors. Never scold or yell at your child about it. Teach your child the right way of expressing their emotions instead. Teach them the importance of listening and show them the proper way of responding to unwanted circumstances. 

 

  • Ignoring Someone’s Bad Deeds

 

There’s a difference between blabber-mouthing an incident and trying to be vigilant. When your child keeps quiet with any bad situations, you need to explain to them the importance of trying to respond in the situation positively. You need you to make sure that your child understands the difference between helping and interfering so he can find the right solution in addressing the current situation. 

 

  • Rude Manners – Pressuring your kids to attain good manner is not going to help you at all. Instead of telling him what to do, show him how it should be done. Concentrate on reminding them to be attentive to others and be aware of their behaviors. Explain to them the importance of valuing obedience. Be a good role model in handling situations and represent yourself as an example of attaining proper behavior.

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As a parent, you must contribute to your child’s health. As you venture to the discussion of pediatric counseling, you’ll understand that your child’s overall development depends on you.

Signs That Your Kiddo Needs Anger Management Counseling

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Having kids typically entails that you will see them as the perfect human beings you’ll ever get to know. Any mistake they do, you find it cute. If they cause an accident, you either forgive them in a heartbeat or worry that someone is trying to frame them up.

To some extent, that kind of behavior is comprehensible. No parent wants to admit that their parenting skills are lacking or that they are raising hellish children. However, if your kid seems to be full of rage – and he or she hasn’t even reached puberty yet – then anger management counseling may be essential.

Below are the signs that your child should take advantage of this form of therapy.

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  1. You Cannot Agree On Anything

The first indication of the condition in a youngster is his or her inability to make compromises and follow agreements with anyone in your family. In case you all agreed that TV has to stay off after eight o’clock, for instance, he or she may throw a feat if you unplug it at that time. The child may not budge as well regardless of what tactic you use to make them eat their vegetables, take medicine, or stop asking for a toy that you cannot afford.

Well, temper tantrums are only understandable if they come from a kid below the age of two. You have to wonder why your offspring who may be several years older than that still acts that way. Assuming it isn’t due to autism, then it may be an anger management issue.

 

  1. Aggressive Traits Are Showing More Frequently

How your child reacts whenever the course of events does not go according to their plan is another sign that he or she requires therapy.

In a standard setting, the more a kid grows, the more amenable he or she becomes. The distinction between right and wrong gets clearer than ever as each day passes; hence, the youngster usually knows how to behave well. He or she understands their role in the family too, e.g., a big brother/sister looks after the little ones, so you’ll soon not need to tell them what to do. 

When a child cannot keep his or her aggression at bay, nevertheless, all of those beautiful things go out of the window. You cannot expect the kiddo to take care of their siblings, for one. If your youngest snatches a toy from him or her, he or she may go berserk and hit the other one on impulse. Dishing out a punishment, furthermore, may merely cause the angry child to be harsher next time because you already seem unfair in their eyes.

The worst-case scenario is that you may need to deal with such episodes almost on a daily basis.

 

  1. The Kid Likes To Take Revenge

There is a fine line that disconnects a righteous child from a vengeful one. In case the first-mentioned steps on someone’s foot by accident and gets called out for it, he or she will instantly apologize. It won’t have to reach the knowledge of their teacher because the kid is already aware of their fault. 

If the same thing happens to a resentful youngster, he or she may: 1) never say sorry, and 2) stop at nothing to get back at that kid for calling them out. That may involve embarrassing the other child in front of everyone or even picking fights until they all end up at the principal’s office.

 

  1. Your Child Cannot Keep Friends

Kids are not so different from adults when it comes to the friendship department. They stick like glue to children who love to laugh, help others, and have fun all the time. On the contrary, they run away from individuals who have a short fuse or tend to blame – or worse, hurt – people when they don’t get their wants.

Considering you never hear your son or daughter talk about friends from school, you should start inquiring about it. If it isn’t because they are on the receiving end of bullying, it may be because they are the bullies. The latter poses a much graver issue than the latter; that’s why you have to realize what is going on with your child inside and outside of your home.

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In The End

Be honest now, dear reader. Does your beloved offspring show any or all of the signs mentioned above?

If he or she does not, you can heave a sigh of relief. Your kiddo may merely be at that age where throwing a tantrum appears like a faster way to get what they want. You can curb the issue by being firmer with your rules or serving punishments from time to time.

In case you have seen or are still seeing those indicators in your child, however, then solving the problem may be far from being a cakewalk. You practically need to ask for help from an anger management counseling experttoaid the kidaccordingly. Moreover, the entire family may have to stay on board as well as during the whole process. 

To know more about finding the best therapist for your son or daughter, go to BetterHelp today. 

Tips On Improving The Mental Health Of Everyone In The Family

Mental health is a serious issue that you need to address as soon as possible. Whether you like it or not, there is a necessity on your part to recognize the adverse effects of having poor mental health for every member of the family. Take note that it can lead to complicated problems that can affect your entire family life. Because of this, you must make it a top priority to help your loved ones improve their mental condition.

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Allow us to share some tips and tricks on how you can contribute to improving the mental health of your husband and kids. Be sure to read this article from stop to finish to ensure that everyone in your family will remain happy and away from depression:

 

Practice Gratitude

 

Teach your family how to be grateful for everything that comes your way. Let them know the significance of being thankful for all the circumstances present in their lives. Once they become appreciative of the blessings, it will be easier for them to maintain a positive outlook in life. They will continue to feel motivated, which will then inspire them to spread the happy vibes to others. All these can be good for their mental health.

 

Keep Communication Open

 

Do not forget to instill in the minds of your family members that it is essential to maintain honesty in all communications with each other. Set a good example to your children by letting them witness how great your interaction is with their father. For sure, it will encourage them to do the same. Aside from this, make an effort to reach out to your kids. Make them realize that they can always talk to you about any topic under the sun.

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Avoid Pressuring Your Kids

 

One of the common mistakes of parents is forcing their children to do something that the latter are not happy about. It can bring chaos into the home as well as disturb the emotional and mental stability of the children involved. As much as possible, give a chance to your kids by allowing them to make their own choices. Do not coerce them to do anything because it will only lead to frustration. When this happens, it can lead to severe mental health. 

 

Go On Vacation

 

No matter how tired and busy you are at work or in your personal business, make sure to spend some quality time with your family. It does not hurt to take a day or weekend off for the sole purpose of going out on a road trip or hanging out in the beach. Always keep in mind that all your actions in the present have consequences in the future. If you want your beloved family to remain intact, then find time to make them a top priority. Never let anyone of them feel that they are begging for your time and attention because that is where the problem will start. 

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If you believe that someone in your family needs professional help, do not hesitate to call a psychiatrist as soon as possible. You can also consult with a therapist, depending on the gravity of the mental illness suffered by a loved one.

The Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids Even After A Failed Marriage

Being a parent requires responsibility even when it comes to choosing the right words to deliver to your child. We have to keep in mind that those words will change a child’s worldview and can affect their moral development. So before uttering words or phrases, we should understand that there are things we shouldn’t say to our kids, especially after divorce.

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“You Should Listen To Adults” 

In all fairness, not all adults are capable of decision making, and most of us create mistakes we often can’t handle. In a relationship issue, adults are more one-sided, and that leads a misconception that a child must follow everything that we tell him to do. It’s dangerous in the kid’s part because he’ll quickly acknowledge trusting even the wrong things we say to him. Therefore, it will be hard for him to identify if that particular adult instruction is going to be bad or good for him.

“You’re Too Young To Understand”

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Yes, the issue of divorce may be hard for the kid. However, he has the right to know why his parents are ending their relationship. It doesn’t have to be detailed and specific; he just needs to understand why some relationships don’t work. A child that openly knows how his parents got separated will have a more comprehensive understanding and acceptance of his surrounding’s imperfections. 

“It’s All Your Fault”

No kid has ever wished to get blamed for his parent’s divorce, and it will not make him a better person once it happens. Blaming a child for the inconsistency of your relationship is something stupid and out of boundary. The child has nothing to do with your failed marriage because you and your partner created mistakes in the first place. It was never his fault that you can’t handle your marriage the way you wanted to. 

“You Have To Choose”

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It’s probably the worst thing to say to your child after your divorce. It is merely an example of parental alienation. A child is not obliged to choose between his parents and the fact that both of them have equal rights, they have to spend equal time and effort for the sake of the kid. It is the type of phrase that severely damages a child’s perception towards his needs for development. 

“Stop Crying And Quit Whining”

Though we want our child to understand that some relationships end, we should not interfere with his emotions. We have to let him feel the pain and allow him to show it in a sense that will make him emotionally strong. Stopping a child from crying can make him silent and withdrawn because lack of emotion will soon manifest aggression. At some point, he might develop a mental disorder when it gets worse.

Your marital relationship problems are common in the society, and as long you know how to handle your issues, there’s probably nothing to worry about. However, the involvement of your child’s development should become your priority even after you decided to end your relationship. Therefore, always make sure that you know the right words to say and be cautious on the wrong ones. 

 

What Parents Must Avoid When Raising Their Kids

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Parenting could have an immense pressure in doing the right thing when raising kids. Children might learn from their experience, but parents should also have to consider their role in making sure their children understand the importance of psychological and mental function. The increased influence will somehow create a reflection of their behavioral progress that parents should prioritize. Parents seldom see mistakes on what they do when trying to educate them and often it leads to an alarming result.

Giving Too Much – It is understandable that parents only want to give everything to their child. However, spoiling them is a big problem they may face in the long run. It will become harmful in both social and mental development because it will create a lasting effect of dependency. Spoiled children will eventually turn out bossy and selfish. They will lack the necessary skills that can contribute to decision making on the demands of adulthood.

Valuing The Expectation Of Perfection – Parents who don’t consider constructive criticism for their kids will eventually complicate their overall health progress. Treating them as perfect individuals is destructive because they might end up believing that most of the things they do are based on their capability to dictate. When children understand that they have too much power, they will never recognize a clear hierarchy and end up losing respect.

Giving Kids Too Many ChoicesGiving kids too many options can be very alarming. The idea of trying to make them happy and letting them choose what benefits them can lead to a never-ending dissatisfaction. They will tend to ignore the value of perseverance and will lose all the motivations they need to push through something they want in life. They will stop chasing happiness and will always settle for convenience.

Overprotecting The Kids – The good intention of protecting children can become way over its boundaries. Parents may feel the need for control on all the aspects of their kid’s life, which may lead to unhealthy identity problems. Overprotecting them from experiencing risk, failure, and negative emotions will make them vulnerable in the early stages of life challenges.

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Engaging In Competitive Parenting – A healthy competition is an excellent way for parents to focus on the weak parts of their kids and boost their self-confidence. However, the excessive desire of attaining unrealistic goals may lead to stress and failure. The pressure that you give your children will result in clinical symptoms of depression and anxiety that will damage their sense of self-worth.

Underestimating Their CharactersNot knowing your child is the worst failure of being a parent. Projecting an impression of someone they are not can result in an identifiable attitude. Most of the behavioral problems of children have a connection to their emotional concerns that parents don’t often notice. You must avoid making conclusions and not base your kid’s personality on assumptions.

There is nothing simple when it comes to parenting. It is a bumpy journey where parents should consider equally difficult choices that will help their kids grow. Being able to identify the right and wrong ways of parental interaction can assist in attaining a better parent-child relationship.

How Substance Abuse of Parents Affects Children

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Drug abuse and substance abuse have been a long problem for everyone. They have caused severe effects on the lives of both children and their parents. Children who grew up in a home associated with substance abuse will have a higher risk of using drugs and alcohol in the future. It may also lead to generations of alcohol and drug addiction within the family. There are currently millions of cases that children suffer the most when it comes to the adverse effects of the said harmful habit.

Reports and Studies

 

There are research studies which show that children whose parents have issues regarding misuse of drugs and alcoholism are three times more susceptible to emotional, sexual, and physical abuse. They are also more likely to be victims of bullying. It is due to the unusual behaviors that the children display when they are away from home, and the awful experiences regarding their parents are the reason behind it, leaving these children mentally and physically scarred throughout their life.

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What It Does

Some cases show a considerable effect of behavioral problems due to parental substance addiction. Drugs and alcohol create a long-term negative impact on a person that damages his brain functionality. A study was initiated to observe the lives of selected youths under the age of 25 whose parents had drug and alcohol issues, and it showed immense disappointing results. The effects of drug and alcohol abuse were mostly similar. However, drug abuse had higher ratings for bringing anxiety and shame. Alcohol, on the other hand, had more substantial results regarding domestic violence and parental neglect.

 

The drug and alcohol problem of their parents caused significant difficulties in most of the selected youths. The majority felt that their parents were unable to sustain the growth of their emotional needs. Most of the chosen kids also felt the need to become responsible in an earlier phase of life despite their young age. It shortens their childhood by a significant margin due to the ever-growing relationship problems of their parents. They put notable importance in informal relationships and use them as a source of support, which, most of the time, are unreliable and conditional.

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Most of the youth have parents with relationship issues and married life dilemmas. Some have parents that are already divorced. The selected children have a lot in common regarding their goals and dreams in the future including owning a house, having a good job, being involved in a loving relationship, and having an ideal family of their own far from what they experienced. 

On The Bright Side

In a positive sense, the selected youth have shown considerable adaptability and resilience on how to unravel their problems despite the painful circumstances. Their experiences somehow gave them the advantage of overcoming the toughest challenges in their lives. Not all children who struggle with parents with substance abuse end up a failure. Some of them use their early maturity to make the corresponding right decision that changes their life in the long run.

After reading this article, we hope that parents who have problems (such as mentioned above) try to ask for help and counseling. It will not only benefit the relationship between you and your spouse, but it will also give you a chance to encourage your children to have a fully functional developmental growth.

How The Bad Relationship Of Parents Affects A Child’s Mental Health

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The relationship of parents has significant effects on the way a child develops his behavior. He can absorb information from everything near him that can impact his emotional and mental learning. He easily adapts to the environment which adds additional psychological progress to his critical thinking. Same adaptation of information goes to the process of learning when a bad relationship is present in his development. In most cases, a child has no control over the influence he can get from the bad views of his experiences. In line with this, parents should consider its effect on the child’s mental health.

Fighting And Conflict: It involves verbal offense such as insults, threats, cursing, and physical aggression. There are reports and studies which show that children who grew up in high-conflict homes have emotional, social, and physical health problems in comparison to those who didn’t. They also have a higher risk of developing depression, anxiety, and substance abuse later in life.

Domestic Abuse And Violence: Children tend to have a higher risk of committing physical violence as they grow up because of their exposure to a home where parents are violent and abusive. There are studies which show the connection of domestic abuse to psychology and physiology of a child as they mature and committing physical violence (such as hurting other people) is a way for them to release their stress. This may manifest at school in the form of bullying. Children with trauma may also form eating disorders to comfort themselves. Chronic stress from the ordeal will lead to an increase in the stress hormone cortisol which orders the body to store fat and energy. 

Alcoholism And Substance Abuse Of Parents: A child will grow up and become an overly sensitive adult if his parents have issues regarding alcohol and substance abuse. He will feel the need to mature earlier due to the emotional stress. He will tend to skip childhood to avoid ending up the same as his parents and force himself to develop the mentality of becoming an excessively responsible child. The lack of emotional attachment will create damage to his development, traumatizing his early days.

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Parents’ Miscommunication – Parents that are unable to get what they want in their relationship will habitually turn to their children for emotional comfort. There are also times when parents will tell their kids to take sides during their conflict, which is a destructive influence towards the child’s immature mind. Parents’ miscommunication can give a child a confused emotional behavior, which may lead to the development of a child’s anxiety and depression.

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Kids may not always understand things that their parents are going through within a relationship. However, they have the urge to fill the emotional necessity of the family. As for parents, they need to become a reliable model to their children as much as possible. It is their sole duty to help them in the challenging world of their development and avoid not becoming the cause of their delayed progress. 

 

What Can Divorce Do To A Child?

It is known that divorce has an impact on children that affect their mental and behavioral progress. Research shows that most kids with divorced parents have a complex personality that comes from a perplexed environment. Parent-child interaction suffers and results in a negative response due to the alarming development of a child’s emotional distress.

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Children with divorced parents have encountered difficulty in understanding complex situations and ended up becoming more dependent on others. They eventually lose their self-esteem and develop an irregularity in social interaction and communication. During this time, they often see negative points of view and disregard positive variables on personal life enhancement. They find it hard to incorporate ideas and fail to process good behavior. They will demand emotional support and use it as a tool to get attention from the people around them. They have a lingering sympathology that affects their sense of equilibrium, hindering their ability to adapt to an altering environment.

What Children Try To Understand

Divorced parents often do not initiate a moment to explain to their child the reason for the separation. As a result, the child tries to speculate negative ideas and tries to blame himself. In fact, most cases of marital conflict leave the child out of the issue since both parents think that the subject should only revolve around them. In line with that, the child is left baffled and wondering why his parents have ended the relationship. He then builds a conclusion that something is wrong not only in the house but including the things that affect their whole bond as a family (and sometimes, kids often think that it started with them). They somehow push themselves to their limits and integrate an ideology that is not even related to the situation. Consequently, they try to establish an emotional boundary to understand why parents involve them in a devastating position.

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Why Kids Can’t Handle Divorce

A child needs both his parents to support his mental and psychological growth. However, altering and stressing out the positive balance of his mind can create a huge problem in his development. It affects his capacity to understand situational issues that give him too much suffering in the emotional aspects. The child can suffer from extreme sadness that he often isolates himself. 

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Kids can’t handle divorce because they are too afraid to choose between their parents. They don’t want to become a burden because they somehow know the frightening process of adjustment that they need to undergo. Though children are unique, the common reason why they don’t like their parents to get separated is that they won’t be able to handle the emptiness they’ll feel. They don’t want to be alone and left out. 

A child needs both of his parents to develop his wellbeing thoroughly, and if the process gets altered, he may lose all the chances to get a better mental and psychological development. As parents, it is their sole duty to let their kids understand the importance of balance and feed their child with emotional care.

How Divorce Affects A Parent-Child Interaction

Children’s emotional and mental health is affected by divorce, and as much as parents would want to keep them from having such as distressful wellbeing, they can no longer retrieve the damage it will cause their child. The divorce itself is not the reason why a child suffers from a mental and emotional breakdown; it is the psychological need that was left unassisted. Therefore, it creates a lot of complications that only parents and health care professionals can help with.

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Consequence Of Divorce To A Child

The effects of divorce vary in most cases, and a child who is experiencing the event may encounter different healthcare needs. He tends to provide himself enough courage to change his behavioral aspects to be able to overthrow the emotional neglect that he spontaneously feels. Though some adjustments may take time to inject, both a young kid and adolescent may seem to have a standard approach to dealing with the problem. The intense feeling of loss and grief doubles up from the usual, and he soon develops a ridiculous amount of fear for neglect. In most cases, a child loses the ability to handle conflicts and ends up in isolation. He entirely sees the situation as a result of his misbehavior and feels responsible for the divorce. The marital conflict may result in the child becoming negatively unaware of his behavioral changes, creating dysfunctional progress to his overall development.

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Effect Of Divorce On Parents

Parents on the other hand (in most cases) have a brief processing condition that somehow abandons emotional stability. They often focus on the issue of divorce without considering a little bit of understanding of what their child has been dealing with. They have this eagerness to resolve the marital issue without noticing its effects on their child. Though they sometimes know what the emotional struggles of their kid are, they still lack the potential to create resolutions. As a result, parents lose their connection to their child and damage the parent-child interaction. Since it creates an emotional struggle for parents as well, they tend to appear more distant from their kid because of the stress and depression that divorce has brought them. The long-term effect of emotional neglect will most likely be devastating, and it will somehow remain unresolved. 

The Long-term Effect

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Both parents and child can have a long-term effect on the case of divorce. They will soon end up neglecting their feelings and losing emotional attachment at some point. They’ll focus more on the negative results rather than look forward on the positive side. They will be prone to judgment and trauma that will affect their decision-making. They will also develop behavioral problems that might be hard to change or eliminate in the long run.

However, not all situations are alike, and there’s still a possibility that parents and child can generally adjust to the position. Though it is possible, it will still require a healthy psychological and emotional balance to be able to adapt to the process easily. Both parents and their child can have the ability to create a nurturing environment by merely working towards the intense emotional awareness they both have.