parent-child interaction therapy

The mental strength and emotional ability of each one of us start at home during our childhood years. Mental health of every member of the family should, therefore, be one of the parents’ priorities. It should not be a reason for one to feel as if it is an embarrassment. Are you worried about the stigma? Ask or get help from a therapist online then. It’s as simple as it is.

Your child may be physically and intellectually excelling in school but have you checked his mental health lately? The symptoms are not easy to spot especially if the parent is uneducated about the importance of subtle signs of declining mental health. To start, here are a few warning signs that you should look for:

Sudden Mood Changes

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Your child may be happy and energetic one moment then he turns irritable the next without any immediate cause. This behavior, however, should not be confused with the natural tendency of children to have tantrums.

Sudden outbursts of feelings and emotions coming entirely out of nowhere may be an early symptom of your child having a bipolar disorder. This conduct should be treated as early as possible because this may be a reason for substance abuse, aggressiveness in public, and interruption of daily activities.

Loss Of Appetite 

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Losing appetite can result in extreme weight loss which can give rise to different physical complications. A person who is not feeling any hunger for days may be experiencing anxiety, trauma, or extreme stress. Check if your child is experiencing any difficulty in school or maybe he has been put under pressure by peers that made him lost interest in eating.

Difficulty In Concentrating

Stress, anxiety, and other mental illnesses affect the brain negatively, and the usual first symptom of this is the loss of concentration and forgetfulness. Your child may not be as attentive as he was before.

This behavior may also stem from a lack of or excessive sleeping. Constant fear and trauma affect anyone’s sleeping pattern. Your child may only want to sleep all day to escape from something (which could be a problem in his studies or pressure from the wrong peers). Your child may be sleeping very late because of constant worry and fear.

Aggression  

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Extreme disobedience and hyperactivity usually characterize aggression. You as the parent should notice this as soon as your child disobeys your orders. This behavior may stem from the fact that his peers are aggressive or that maybe he is a victim of cyberbullying; thus, the tendency to bully other children too.

Children with this problem should be disciplined not just in your home but also in school. Your child needs discipline right away, but it is also vital that you trace the underlying problem for such physical aggression.

Excessive Fears, Worries, And Negative Outlook

Overthinking is one of the most subtle signs of an impending mental illness. Indeed it may only be a state of mind but worrying about future and often imaginary events is a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Such worries and fears may also be related to unusual sleeping patterns, unexplained weight loss, sweating and chills, and shortness of breath. This symptom, if not appropriately addressed, will become a serious problem to your child because there’s a tendency that he will avoid ordinary and usual situations for overthinking. It will, in turn, interrupt his routine and eventually social relationships. 

Social Withdrawal 

The first sign of this symptom is your child’s separation anxiety. True enough, it is the natural tendency of children to cry and feel anxious about getting separated from their parents, but as they grow up, they should at least show some sense of independence slowly. If this is not the case, then your child may be having some social anxiety.

This behavior should be addressed right away because social anxiety will make it hard for your child to go to school and socialize with his peers. It will be difficult for your child as he will deliberately isolate himself from people and he may become prone to bullying. If this continues, then he will not be able to enjoy normal activities that his peers are doing.

It is a given fact that kids and their parents have lesser time for each other nowadays. However, it is not enough that you only check for physical and intellectual aspects of your child during your quality time together. Better mental health, as they say, should be a foundation of a competent and robust individual in the long run.

 

Being a part of a close-knit family may seem envy-worthy for people who did not grow up connected with their parents, siblings, and other relatives. After all, the idea is that if someone picks a fight with you, you won’t have to face your enemy alone. The entire brood will back you up in any way possible. In case you don’t feel okay, or something is bothering you, your folks will sense it before you even tell them.

Despite the realness of that, though, it is no secret that some children in a family become distant as they get older. Their friends cannot understand the reason, especially if the mom and dad appear to be genuinely sweet and caring. The parents, of course, do not see the logic behind it either and assume that their son or daughter is merely acting up.

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Based on experience, yours honestly can say that some people fail to realize that their words or actions tend to bully their kids, albeit unintentionally. Since children are not supposed to talk back – and everyone only tells them to watch out for bullies at school – they bottle up their hurt emotions and end up distancing themselves from their parents.

Now, whether you know that you are bullying your kids or not, you ought to understand the different ways to avoid doing so.

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1. Stop Teasing The Children About Their Weight All The Time

The first thing that messes up with the youngsters’ brain is the thought that they are fat and that it’s something to be laughed at. Comments like “You are the heaviest in your class” or “Your tummy is bulging” can inflict pain to them emotionally. Over time, that may feel worse than hearing it from their peers and other folks.

Considering you are genuinely concerned about their weight, you should talk to the kids about dieting and exercising. Making fun of them in hopes of it triggering their desire to lose extra pounds will not be fruitful. It may even cause them to develop depression or eating disorder upon thinking that their family members always laugh about their weight issues.

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2. Do Not Compare Your Kids To Each Other

It is not acceptable to make comparisons between your children and often mention who’s better at what activity. Some say, “Why can’t you be smart like your sister?” or “You are not as handsome as your brother.” Though such words may sometimes come out of frustrations, some parents assume that they are merely stating a fact.

Truth or not, however, moms and dads are in no position to compare their kids to each other. One may think that their parents favor the other, and so they don’t feel like it’s necessary for them to return to the family home once they become adults. That is what causes rivalry to form between the youngsters, which can later make them drift apart permanently.

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3. Avoid Forcing The Children To Get Straight As

Another issue with perfectionist parents is that they push the kids to excel in academics. Their driving force may be the reality that they used to get top marks themselves back then or their grades were below satisfactory, so they don’t want their children to experience that too.

The thing is, your offspring is their own person. It is unideal to force them to be like you or to do what you were unable to do. After all, what if the talents of your child lie beyond the four corners of their classroom? What if, after years of putting up with your pushing until the 12th grade, they ditch university since they feel tired of studying already?

In case you don’t stop doing that, you might jeopardize the children’s future even further.

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4. Try Not To Overshow Tough Love

Whenever kids toe the line, it seems okay to take away their toys for a while or keep them from playing outside. Slapping a child’s hand lightly is quite acceptable at times as well, considering they touched something dangerous. However, you should never strike them anywhere else, no matter how angry or frustrated you may be.

The reason is that corporal punishments tend to mess up children badly, according to a few studies. Those who always get punished end up either developing a mental health illness or growing apart from their parents who inflicted pain on them. They are also prone to becoming bullies to their own kids too, thinking that that’s all right since their mom and dad did that before.

Final Thoughts

There are a million ways to show your love for your children, but it only takes one repeating act to alter their perspective in life. Be careful of everything you say; think before doing or mentioning something in front of your kids. Otherwise, you might be bullying them already without knowing it.

 

US schools use solution-focused therapy. What is solution-focused therapy? What’s the benefit of this kind of treatment?

Solution-Focused Therapy

But what are the issues of school kids that may require treatment or therapy?

Well, for one, it centers on finding an immediate solution to a problem, according to the therapy treatment manual. With that, issues of kids at school such as relationship problems are dealt with quickly using a focused approach, often referred to as SFBT (Solution Focused Brief Therapy).

Some schools employ one social worker, usually a licensed therapist, to assist with students’ mental health problems such as clients managing trauma.

In some institutions, there is one social worker per grade level. But in most cases, one professional will have to handle hundreds or near to a thousand students who seek therapy process all year long, as well as answers to the miracle question.

What are these issues that need handling and possibly Solution-Focused Therapy?

(Read this article for more knowledge on SFT.)

Some Issues That Solution-Focused Therapy Address Are The Following:

1. Child Behavioral Problems (ASD, ADHD, and the like)

2. Learning disabilities

3. Emotional issues

4. Academic problems

5. Drug or alcohol use

6. Poverty

7. Bullying

8. Teenage sex and pregnancy

Why Is SFT Useful For These Concerns?

There are techniques that qualified SF therapists can utilize based on the program and find solutions to these problems mentioned.

Who will find the answers, you ask? It’s not the SFBT therapist. The students will be the ones presenting problems and issues, processing them, and finding solutions or viable ways to solve them.

The SFT practitioners will facilitate the therapy session and use techniques (coping questions or future-focused questions) so that the students will look into themselves and their strengths to end the problem with an affirmative answer. This is the SFBT approach.

There are at least seven important techniques that a qualified counselor can use every time a child is in need of a SFT approach.

A focused brief therapy SFBT counselor should assist children to discern their strengths in finding answers through problem-solving activities.

SFBT is a goal-directed therapeutic intervention process,  therapy evidence-based approach.

It is future-oriented and incorporates positive psychology principles and practices.

For example: How can children make things better from their end?

How can they improve this situation that they have now?

If there is a way to solve this problem and come up with positive things, what do they think it will be?

A Counselor Should Use Miracle Questions

For example: Let’s say by miracle, all troubles and concerns are gone instantly.

But then they woke up, and it was all a dream.

Something is different in them.

What do they think will be that different thing?

A solution-focused therapist should use scaling questions.

If they are in a hospital bed and experiencing pain, the doctor will ask them, on a scale of 1 to 10, how painful is their body right now. This approach is similar to solution focused brief therapy in the mental health field, where professionals assess the client’s situation to find immediate solutions. And then, of course, they’ll answer it with how they feel so that the doctor can treat them (based on the client’s life experiences and client’s situation). The concept of solution focused strategies, much like focused brief therapy, aims to address the issue promptly and efficiently.

In previous SFBT associations, it is somewhat the same.

For example, 10 is the goal of children which they must attain and solve the child’s behavioral problems. But of course, they have to pass through 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and so on, until they reach ten.

If they are still somewhere below ten, the mental health professionals will have to ask – How can they go from five to six? What actions must they take to do that?

A Solution-Focused Therapist should help set their objective to resolve the issue with goal-oriented questions.

For example: After this session, what do children think will happen? What do they want to happen? What must be done differently?

A counselor will have to suggest to the children that behavioral changes must happen soon, a person must act on it, and create a systematic qualitative review solution. This will ensure improved good behavior.

A Counselor Must Ask Exceptional Questions

A miracle question can start with: Give me a reason as to when this type of problem doesn’t occur. How was it different from the situation now? What made it better? What changed?

A solution-focused therapist should provide breaks and gives indirect compliments during SFT sessions.

It doesn’t have to be a long break – just three to five minutes will do. A family process therapy center counselor must commend children on their coping skills and ability, and compliment them on their persistence and sociability. This method, inspired by Steve de Shazer, the co-founder of therapy SFBT, often incorporates tools like the miracle question to help clients envision the changes they’d like to see.

A solution-focused treatment should end the therapy with solution-focused homework.

There are more than seven techniques used in this specific brief family therapy center treatment, but the detailed description of these controlled outcome studies and research measures mentioned are most active on young students.

In as short as three to five sessions, children will find the means to solve problems and surprisingly, a way for them to not repeat past life events.

Indeed, learning the effectiveness of SFT with key concepts in a school setting is helpful, especially if in constructive collaboration with other psychiatric treatment programs.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Is The Main Concept Of The SFT Approach?

The main concept of the SFT approach, also known as focused brief therapy SFBT, is to emphasize solutions rather than problems, helping clients visualize and work towards desired outcomes. This approach was co-developed by Insoo Kim Berg, along with Steve de Shazer, emphasizing the importance of clients’ strengths and resources.

What Is The Difference Between CBT And SFT?

What Is An Example Of An SFT Approach?

How Do You Explain SFT To A Client?

Which Techniques Are Commonly Used In SFT Approaches?

How Is SFT Helpful?

How Many Sessions Does SFBT Have?

What Are The Types Of Questions That Are Used In The SFT Approach?

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Pediatric counseling tells us that parenting is not an easy task, especially when you are trying to impose something on your child. You have to make sure that your words are easily understood. It shouldn’t create emotional or psychological damage at all cost. That’s why proper communication with your kid is essential. So what are those phrases that are an absolute no-no when it comes to dealing with your child’s behavioral problems? Keep reading, and you’ll soon find more about it.

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“You’ll Be Okay” 

If your child is upset about something, don’t assume that they will be okay. That’s the misconception of parenting. When parents think that their child’s emotional problem is not as substantial as theirs, it’s not going to help in developing a child’s confidence. In fact, it will only make it worst. Your child needs your help so he can get through with his emotional problems. So be there for him, acknowledge his feelings and try to listen.

“Let Me Do It” 

It is only natural for parents to help their child especially if they are struggling with something. However, offering direct help and doing it by yourself instead of letting your child figure it out on his own can set him up for failure in the future. It will undermine your child’s independence when you jump in too soon. As a result, they’ll develop an attitude that always depends on others for answers. So instead of being a hands-on parent, you need to support your child and let him grow up and become self-sufficient.

“Don’t Be Sad” 

You probably tell this to your kid most of the times, especially when he’s feeling low. However, you shouldn’t. A child suffers from a time of emotional rollercoaster, so there’s a need for emotional identification. They need to know that certain feeling exists and that they have to cope with it. Understanding how emotions create an impact on both mental and behavioral state should become one of his health priorities. Allow him to feel sad and let him develop emotional strength.

“You’re Incredibly Smart”

There’s a difference between inflated and honest praise. It’s perfectly reasonable to push your child and make him think that he can work things on his own. However, instilling in his mind that he’s never going to create a mistake is a dangerous approach. The over-exaggeration will lead to over-confidence and forms a boastful attitude. In some cases, inflated praise somehow puts even more pressure on a child leaving him with full of stress and anxiety.

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Setting an above standard when it comes to your child’s health creates a detrimental effect on their self-esteem. Let your child take on the challenges and support him at any cost without interfering with his developmental growth. Encourage him to do great on his own and let him understand the value of his own mistakes. This way, you’re not only giving him enough reasons to improve himself, but also providing him the sincere and honest compliment he deserves.

Having many kids typically entails that you will see them as the perfect human beings you’ll ever get to know. Any mistake they make, you find it cute. If they cause an accident, you either forgive them in a heartbeat or worry that someone is trying to frame them up.

Parenting an Angry Child? What’s To Be Done?

Understanding The Behavior

To some extent, that kind of behavior is comprehensible and children learn a lot from a single scenario. No parent wants to admit that their parenting skills are lacking or that they are raising a hellish small child or young children. However, if your children seem to be full of rage – and they haven’t even reached puberty yet – then anger counseling may be essential to teach older kids to deal with resentment.

It is normal for children to express anger and do it in healthy ways. However, if the upset or angry kid or angry kids are left unchecked, he can cause disruption and create lasting negative impacts on their positive behavior. Teaching kids how to identify and manage their resentment or rage can help them develop healthy coping skills with big feelings.

One example of a healthy coping skill is deep breathing. Taking deep breaths and doing self-talk can help kids who feel angry or who have unchecked anger regulate their emotions and help them gain control of their emotional state. They can start by imagining their calm and safe place.

Below are the signs that your child should take advantage of this form of therapy.

1. You Cannot Agree On Anything

The first indication that kids’ anger therapy is necessary is when they are unable to establish coping skills or make compromises and follow agreements with anyone in their family. In case you all agree that the TV has to stay off after eight o’clock, for instance, he or she may throw a temper tantrum if you unplug it at that time.

Well, temper tantrums are only understandable if they come from a child below the age of two. You have to wonder why older child or children still acts that way. Assuming it isn’t due to autism, then it may be kids’ anger self-control issue.

2. Aggressive Traits Are Showing More Frequently

In a standard setting, the more a child grows, the more amenable he or she becomes. The distinction between right and wrong gets clearer than ever as each day passes; hence, the youngster usually knows how to behave well. A child responds to his or her role in the family too, e.g., a big brother/sister looks after the little ones, so you’ll soon not need to tell them what to do. It can be a clear indication that a child is feeling angry.

When one cannot keep his or her aggression and bad behavior at bay, that is a sign of rage or resentment issues in children’s behaviors. Nevertheless, all of those beautiful things go out of the window. You cannot expect the child to take care of their siblings, for one.

If your youngest snatches a toy from him or her, he or she may go berserk and hit the other one on impulse. Dishing out a punishment, furthermore, as a consequence, may merely cause the angry child to be harsher next time because you already seem unfair in their eyes. With this, parents have to secure the other child’s safety.

The worst-case scenario is that you may need to deal with your child’s angry behavior on a daily basis.

3. The Kid Likes To Take Revenge

There is a fine line that disconnects a righteous child from a vengeful one. In case the first-mentioned steps on someone’s foot by accident and gets called out for it, he or she will instantly apologize. It won’t have to reach the knowledge of their teacher because the child is already aware of their fault.

If the same thing happens to a resentful youngster, he or she may: 1) never say sorry, and 2) stop at nothing to get back at that child for calling them out. That may involve humiliation of emotion and embarrassing the other child in front of everyone or even picking fights until they all end up at the principal’s office. This may cause trouble and damage to the child’s emotional development, communication skills, problem-solving skills, and social skills.

Anger or rage is a normal emotion that everyone experiences at one point or another. It’s important to help young children learn how to manage their resentment in healthy ways, and not by yelling. Teaching your child how to handle difficult moments with patience and understanding can be a challenge, but it will benefit them in the long run.

4. Your Child Cannot Keep Friends

Children are not so different from adults when it comes to the friendship department. They stick like glue to children who love to laugh, help others, and have fun all the time. On the contrary, they run away from individuals who have a short fuse or tend to blame – or worse, hurt – people when they don’t get their wants.

Considering you never hear your son or daughter talk about friends from school, you should start inquiring about it and encourage children to tell the truth. If it isn’t because they are on the receiving end of bullying, it may be because they are the bullies. The latter poses a much graver issue than the latter; that’s why you have to realize what is going on with your child inside and outside of your home to recognize the kind of support you can give.

Dealing With Your Kid’s Rage

According to the diagnostic and statistical manual, it is always rewarding to be a parent which means we will have a lot of understanding and patience as we help them walk through life and grow. Each child deals with resentment differently, and we can’t just compare them to others and think that every solution to their own anger is the same.

Encouraging them to express their feelings in a healthy way can be helpful in aiding them in coping with stress and frustrated emotions. Talking to a child about what might have caused their anger, or the triggers that set it off, can be beneficial. Teaching them constructive ways of struggling with their anger through gentle words can help them realize what they need to do to become better persons.

It is always smart to seek the help of a professional rather than trying to deal with it by yourself. It will not make you a bad parent. It will not make you less. It just means you love them extra that you are willing to ask for help from others just to make certain of your children’s wellbeing.

Be Honest, Reader, And Be True To Yourself

Does your beloved offspring show any or all of the signs mentioned above?

If he or she does not, you can heave a sigh of relief. Your kiddo may merely be at that age where throwing a tantrum appears like a faster way to get what they want. You can curb and avoid meltdowns of the underlying issues by being firmer with your rules or serving punishments from time to time. Learn more about how you can work on it efficiently through parent-child interaction therapy.

Final Thoughts And Takeaway To Consider

In case you have seen or are still seeing those indicators, however, then solving the problem may be far from being a cakewalk. You practically need to ask for help in managing anger for younger children and a counseling expert or clinical psychologist is the one that can help your child with that frustration accordingly and assist them in transitioning in good behavior. Moreover, the entire family may have to stay on board as well as during the whole process.

To know more about finding the best therapist for your son or daughter, go to BetterHelp today. They can provide many effective strategies on how you can secure your child’s uncomfortable feelings and angry emotions through positive reinforcement. Seek anger management for young kids.

FAQs

1.    How Do I Help My Kid With Rage Issues?

2.    Does Therapy For Anger Work?

3.    What Causes Rage Problems In Your Kid?

4.    How Do I Know If My Kid Needs Resentment/Rage Therapy?

5.    At What Age Can A Kid Control Their Resentful Feelings?

6.    What Is The Best Way To Deal With Rage And Resentment?

7.     Can attention deficit hyperactivity disorder cause a child’s anger issues?

8.    What is it called when a child has anger issues?

9.     Are anger issues inherited?

10.   How do I stay calm when my child won’t listen?

Being a parent requires responsibility even when it comes to choosing the right words to deliver to your child. We have to keep in mind that those words will change a child’s worldview and can affect their moral development. So before uttering words or phrases, we should understand that there are things we shouldn’t say to our kids, especially after divorce.

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“You Should Listen To Adults” 

In all fairness, not all adults are capable of decision making, and most of us create mistakes we often can’t handle. In a relationship issue, adults are more one-sided, and that leads a misconception that a child must follow everything that we tell him to do. It’s dangerous in the kid’s part because he’ll quickly acknowledge trusting even the wrong things we say to him. Therefore, it will be hard for him to identify if that particular adult instruction is going to be bad or good for him.

“You’re Too Young To Understand”

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Yes, the issue of divorce may be hard for the kid. However, he has the right to know why his parents are ending their relationship. It doesn’t have to be detailed and specific; he just needs to understand why some relationships don’t work. A child that openly knows how his parents got separated will have a more comprehensive understanding and acceptance of his surrounding’s imperfections. 

“It’s All Your Fault”

No kid has ever wished to get blamed for his parent’s divorce, and it will not make him a better person once it happens. Blaming a child for the inconsistency of your relationship is something stupid and out of boundary. The child has nothing to do with your failed marriage because you and your partner created mistakes in the first place. It was never his fault that you can’t handle your marriage the way you wanted to. 

“You Have To Choose”

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It’s probably the worst thing to say to your child after your divorce. It is merely an example of parental alienation. A child is not obliged to choose between his parents and the fact that both of them have equal rights, they have to spend equal time and effort for the sake of the kid. It is the type of phrase that severely damages a child’s perception towards his needs for development. 

“Stop Crying And Quit Whining”

Though we want our child to understand that some relationships end, we should not interfere with his emotions. We have to let him feel the pain and allow him to show it in a sense that will make him emotionally strong. Stopping a child from crying can make him silent and withdrawn because lack of emotion will soon manifest aggression. At some point, he might develop a mental disorder when it gets worse.

Your marital relationship problems are common in the society, and as long you know how to handle your issues, there’s probably nothing to worry about. However, the involvement of your child’s development should become your priority even after you decided to end your relationship. Therefore, always make sure that you know the right words to say and be cautious on the wrong ones.