What Parents Must Avoid When Raising Their Kids

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Parenting could have an immense pressure in doing the right thing when raising kids. Children might learn from their experience, but parents should also have to consider their role in making sure their children understand the importance of psychological and mental function. The increased influence will somehow create a reflection of their behavioral progress that parents should prioritize. Parents seldom see mistakes on what they do when trying to educate them and often it leads to an alarming result.

Giving Too Much – It is understandable that parents only want to give everything to their child. However, spoiling them is a big problem they may face in the long run. It will become harmful in both social and mental development because it will create a lasting effect of dependency. Spoiled children will eventually turn out bossy and selfish. They will lack the necessary skills that can contribute to decision making on the demands of adulthood.

Valuing The Expectation Of Perfection – Parents who don’t consider constructive criticism for their kids will eventually complicate their overall health progress. Treating them as perfect individuals is destructive because they might end up believing that most of the things they do are based on their capability to dictate. When children understand that they have too much power, they will never recognize a clear hierarchy and end up losing respect.

Giving Kids Too Many ChoicesGiving kids too many options can be very alarming. The idea of trying to make them happy and letting them choose what benefits them can lead to a never-ending dissatisfaction. They will tend to ignore the value of perseverance and will lose all the motivations they need to push through something they want in life. They will stop chasing happiness and will always settle for convenience.

Overprotecting The Kids – The good intention of protecting children can become way over its boundaries. Parents may feel the need for control on all the aspects of their kid’s life, which may lead to unhealthy identity problems. Overprotecting them from experiencing risk, failure, and negative emotions will make them vulnerable in the early stages of life challenges.

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Engaging In Competitive Parenting – A healthy competition is an excellent way for parents to focus on the weak parts of their kids and boost their self-confidence. However, the excessive desire of attaining unrealistic goals may lead to stress and failure. The pressure that you give your children will result in clinical symptoms of depression and anxiety that will damage their sense of self-worth.

Underestimating Their CharactersNot knowing your child is the worst failure of being a parent. Projecting an impression of someone they are not can result in an identifiable attitude. Most of the behavioral problems of children have a connection to their emotional concerns that parents don’t often notice. You must avoid making conclusions and not base your kid’s personality on assumptions.

There is nothing simple when it comes to parenting. It is a bumpy journey where parents should consider equally difficult choices that will help their kids grow. Being able to identify the right and wrong ways of parental interaction can assist in attaining a better parent-child relationship.

How Substance Abuse of Parents Affects Children

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Drug abuse and substance abuse have been a long problem for everyone. They have caused severe effects on the lives of both children and their parents. Children who grew up in a home associated with substance abuse will have a higher risk of using drugs and alcohol in the future. It may also lead to generations of alcohol and drug addiction within the family. There are currently millions of cases that children suffer the most when it comes to the adverse effects of the said harmful habit.

Reports and Studies

 

There are research studies which show that children whose parents have issues regarding misuse of drugs and alcoholism are three times more susceptible to emotional, sexual, and physical abuse. They are also more likely to be victims of bullying. It is due to the unusual behaviors that the children display when they are away from home, and the awful experiences regarding their parents are the reason behind it, leaving these children mentally and physically scarred throughout their life.

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What It Does

Some cases show a considerable effect of behavioral problems due to parental substance addiction. Drugs and alcohol create a long-term negative impact on a person that damages his brain functionality. A study was initiated to observe the lives of selected youths under the age of 25 whose parents had drug and alcohol issues, and it showed immense disappointing results. The effects of drug and alcohol abuse were mostly similar. However, drug abuse had higher ratings for bringing anxiety and shame. Alcohol, on the other hand, had more substantial results regarding domestic violence and parental neglect.

 

The drug and alcohol problem of their parents caused significant difficulties in most of the selected youths. The majority felt that their parents were unable to sustain the growth of their emotional needs. Most of the chosen kids also felt the need to become responsible in an earlier phase of life despite their young age. It shortens their childhood by a significant margin due to the ever-growing relationship problems of their parents. They put notable importance in informal relationships and use them as a source of support, which, most of the time, are unreliable and conditional.

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Most of the youth have parents with relationship issues and married life dilemmas. Some have parents that are already divorced. The selected children have a lot in common regarding their goals and dreams in the future including owning a house, having a good job, being involved in a loving relationship, and having an ideal family of their own far from what they experienced. 

On The Bright Side

In a positive sense, the selected youth have shown considerable adaptability and resilience on how to unravel their problems despite the painful circumstances. Their experiences somehow gave them the advantage of overcoming the toughest challenges in their lives. Not all children who struggle with parents with substance abuse end up a failure. Some of them use their early maturity to make the corresponding right decision that changes their life in the long run.

After reading this article, we hope that parents who have problems (such as mentioned above) try to ask for help and counseling. It will not only benefit the relationship between you and your spouse, but it will also give you a chance to encourage your children to have a fully functional developmental growth.

How The Bad Relationship Of Parents Affects A Child’s Mental Health

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The relationship of parents has significant effects on the way a child develops his behavior. He can absorb information from everything near him that can impact his emotional and mental learning. He easily adapts to the environment which adds additional psychological progress to his critical thinking. Same adaptation of information goes to the process of learning when a bad relationship is present in his development. In most cases, a child has no control over the influence he can get from the bad views of his experiences. In line with this, parents should consider its effect on the child’s mental health.

Fighting And Conflict: It involves verbal offense such as insults, threats, cursing, and physical aggression. There are reports and studies which show that children who grew up in high-conflict homes have emotional, social, and physical health problems in comparison to those who didn’t. They also have a higher risk of developing depression, anxiety, and substance abuse later in life.

Domestic Abuse And Violence: Children tend to have a higher risk of committing physical violence as they grow up because of their exposure to a home where parents are violent and abusive. There are studies which show the connection of domestic abuse to psychology and physiology of a child as they mature and committing physical violence (such as hurting other people) is a way for them to release their stress. This may manifest at school in the form of bullying. Children with trauma may also form eating disorders to comfort themselves. Chronic stress from the ordeal will lead to an increase in the stress hormone cortisol which orders the body to store fat and energy. 

Alcoholism And Substance Abuse Of Parents: A child will grow up and become an overly sensitive adult if his parents have issues regarding alcohol and substance abuse. He will feel the need to mature earlier due to the emotional stress. He will tend to skip childhood to avoid ending up the same as his parents and force himself to develop the mentality of becoming an excessively responsible child. The lack of emotional attachment will create damage to his development, traumatizing his early days.

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Parents’ Miscommunication – Parents that are unable to get what they want in their relationship will habitually turn to their children for emotional comfort. There are also times when parents will tell their kids to take sides during their conflict, which is a destructive influence towards the child’s immature mind. Parents’ miscommunication can give a child a confused emotional behavior, which may lead to the development of a child’s anxiety and depression.

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Kids may not always understand things that their parents are going through within a relationship. However, they have the urge to fill the emotional necessity of the family. As for parents, they need to become a reliable model to their children as much as possible. It is their sole duty to help them in the challenging world of their development and avoid not becoming the cause of their delayed progress. 

 

What Can Divorce Do To A Child?

It is known that divorce has an impact on children that affect their mental and behavioral progress. Research shows that most kids with divorced parents have a complex personality that comes from a perplexed environment. Parent-child interaction suffers and results in a negative response due to the alarming development of a child’s emotional distress.

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Children with divorced parents have encountered difficulty in understanding complex situations and ended up becoming more dependent on others. They eventually lose their self-esteem and develop an irregularity in social interaction and communication. During this time, they often see negative points of view and disregard positive variables on personal life enhancement. They find it hard to incorporate ideas and fail to process good behavior. They will demand emotional support and use it as a tool to get attention from the people around them. They have a lingering sympathology that affects their sense of equilibrium, hindering their ability to adapt to an altering environment.

What Children Try To Understand

Divorced parents often do not initiate a moment to explain to their child the reason for the separation. As a result, the child tries to speculate negative ideas and tries to blame himself. In fact, most cases of marital conflict leave the child out of the issue since both parents think that the subject should only revolve around them. In line with that, the child is left baffled and wondering why his parents have ended the relationship. He then builds a conclusion that something is wrong not only in the house but including the things that affect their whole bond as a family (and sometimes, kids often think that it started with them). They somehow push themselves to their limits and integrate an ideology that is not even related to the situation. Consequently, they try to establish an emotional boundary to understand why parents involve them in a devastating position.

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Why Kids Can’t Handle Divorce

A child needs both his parents to support his mental and psychological growth. However, altering and stressing out the positive balance of his mind can create a huge problem in his development. It affects his capacity to understand situational issues that give him too much suffering in the emotional aspects. The child can suffer from extreme sadness that he often isolates himself. 

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Kids can’t handle divorce because they are too afraid to choose between their parents. They don’t want to become a burden because they somehow know the frightening process of adjustment that they need to undergo. Though children are unique, the common reason why they don’t like their parents to get separated is that they won’t be able to handle the emptiness they’ll feel. They don’t want to be alone and left out. 

A child needs both of his parents to develop his wellbeing thoroughly, and if the process gets altered, he may lose all the chances to get a better mental and psychological development. As parents, it is their sole duty to let their kids understand the importance of balance and feed their child with emotional care.

How Divorce Affects A Parent-Child Interaction

Children’s emotional and mental health is affected by divorce, and as much as parents would want to keep them from having such as distressful wellbeing, they can no longer retrieve the damage it will cause their child. The divorce itself is not the reason why a child suffers from a mental and emotional breakdown; it is the psychological need that was left unassisted. Therefore, it creates a lot of complications that only parents and health care professionals can help with.

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Consequence Of Divorce To A Child

The effects of divorce vary in most cases, and a child who is experiencing the event may encounter different healthcare needs. He tends to provide himself enough courage to change his behavioral aspects to be able to overthrow the emotional neglect that he spontaneously feels. Though some adjustments may take time to inject, both a young kid and adolescent may seem to have a standard approach to dealing with the problem. The intense feeling of loss and grief doubles up from the usual, and he soon develops a ridiculous amount of fear for neglect. In most cases, a child loses the ability to handle conflicts and ends up in isolation. He entirely sees the situation as a result of his misbehavior and feels responsible for the divorce. The marital conflict may result in the child becoming negatively unaware of his behavioral changes, creating dysfunctional progress to his overall development.

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Effect Of Divorce On Parents

Parents on the other hand (in most cases) have a brief processing condition that somehow abandons emotional stability. They often focus on the issue of divorce without considering a little bit of understanding of what their child has been dealing with. They have this eagerness to resolve the marital issue without noticing its effects on their child. Though they sometimes know what the emotional struggles of their kid are, they still lack the potential to create resolutions. As a result, parents lose their connection to their child and damage the parent-child interaction. Since it creates an emotional struggle for parents as well, they tend to appear more distant from their kid because of the stress and depression that divorce has brought them. The long-term effect of emotional neglect will most likely be devastating, and it will somehow remain unresolved. 

The Long-term Effect

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Both parents and child can have a long-term effect on the case of divorce. They will soon end up neglecting their feelings and losing emotional attachment at some point. They’ll focus more on the negative results rather than look forward on the positive side. They will be prone to judgment and trauma that will affect their decision-making. They will also develop behavioral problems that might be hard to change or eliminate in the long run.

However, not all situations are alike, and there’s still a possibility that parents and child can generally adjust to the position. Though it is possible, it will still require a healthy psychological and emotional balance to be able to adapt to the process easily. Both parents and their child can have the ability to create a nurturing environment by merely working towards the intense emotional awareness they both have.

The Better Outcome Of Parents’ Involvement In A Child’s Development

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The primary role of parents is to guide and support their kids to learn the importance of balance on their well-being. Their development at school and environment helps to promote healthy behavior. Inclusive of social interaction, parents’ involvement on their child can also influence them in attaining a positive relationship with people. Studies show that well-implemented activities are substantial regardless of socioeconomic status, ethnic or racial background, and educational level.

Parents and children interaction can make a collaborative approach that boosts the kid’s mental health. One of the significant advantages is the emulation of ethical behavior that can produce positive results. It is a journey for children to have a better outcome.

What Can Parents Get With The Involvement?

Parents’ involvement can increase social interaction with their children and create a sensitive response to their children’s intellectual and emotional necessity. It will allow them to have a personal association with their kid’s highs and lows. Alongside the changes, the bond between parent and child impact their immediate social microsystems. They become more aware of their kid’s struggles and become more active with their interests. They maintain the use of affection in decision-making and use positive reinforcement more often while lessening the use of punishment. 

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How Does Parent Interaction Affect Children?

Children’s ecosystem changes when their parents tend to get involved with their activities. The similar patterns can consistently boost their self-esteem and motivation. They become more self-disciplined and aware of better transitions when it comes to diverse cultural background. It helps them create an impacting development in their emotional and psychological aspects.  Children become more aware of their responsibilities and try to value the essence of commitment. They feel more proud and satisfied with their selves because they get the necessary support they need from their parents.

How Does Parent Involvement Influence The School?

The quality of parental communication can create social skills that can benefit a child’s overall advancement. The involvement of parents in the growth of their children can particularly support their network and can foster higher confidence with handling people on their day to day activity. It helps to train them in better communication and encourages academic excellence. They feel more competent at school; thus, they achieve better grades, attendance, and test scores.

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What Can It Contribute To The Community?

One factor that can help both parents and children is the well-established connection to their community. They can experience better support and have encouraging programs that allow mental growth. So when kids face challenges in life, they learn how to make the right decisions while nurturing their inner purpose. It helps them become active and socially involved.

Parents are among the most important factors in children’s development, and their personal connection can enhance their social functioning which ultimately helps reduce behavioral problems. Nurturing children must undergo specific processes and managing plans that can help them establish a working performance that is beneficial for growth. So when you lack the ability to communicate with your kids and take for granted the involvement you can give, you must understand that their behavioral progress and mental improvement will depend on how you interact with them. 

 

Effective Parenting Techniques That Reduce Child Behavioral Issues

Most children require different types of approach to discipline so parents should understand how to implement an encouraging positive behavior. They must provide a healthy environment for their kids to promote long-term impacts on their well-being. A behavioral parenting technique can give parents a chance to help their kids develop their skills at all levels. This way, children can prepare themselves for handling their school, home, and environment.

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There are simple strategies that parents can work on to be able to provide the necessary implementation of rules and policies which can be used to promote positive behavior. These methods will increase a child’s healthy respect and confidence that is beneficial for his overall development.

Be A Role Model – Parents must understand that a child’s behavior is based on interaction. He tends to learn a lot of things by imitating adults. Parents should set an example on showing their kid the different types of social communication that correlate on good manners so he can quickly adapt to the proper behavioral approach. Adults that use respectful words (such as please, thank you, God bless you, etc.) will create a lasting impression of positive behavior on their kids. 

Acknowledge Your Child’s Good Behavior – Children see things differently, and when you praise their behavior, they tend to do it more often. Rewarding and acknowledging your child’s behavior will give them an encouragement to keep it up. Frequent use of positive feedback on the good things that they do can motivate them to become productive and attentive. Parents can also include positive responses based on body language such high-five, smile, pat on the back, thumbs up, hug, etc. 

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Understand Your Child’s Emotions – It is necessary to invest in a child’s emotional behavior. It will help parents reach out to their kids while increasing parental monitoring. An emphatic statement is required since kids are relatively more sensitive than adults. They can use a personalized approach while dealing with conflicts or use consistent routine when handling their tantrums. They must be careful with their choice of words to avoid emotional and stressful outcomes. 

Allow Minor Mistakes – There is always room for small mistakes and parents should let it go. Allowing the flow of natural consequences will give your child a chance to work on his blunders and learn how to change them positively. Parents must avoid becoming too much in control of trying to convince a child to manage his actions correctly. They must have to be considerate enough to allow slip-ups so children can learn how to make better choices in life. 

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Adjust Your Kids’ Environment – The child’s acceptable behavior can reflect on the environment that he is provided with. Parents must promote a safe and engaging atmosphere to create a transparent and reasonable expectation of their kid’s performance. They must learn how to organize a place where children can work, play and rest. They should understand the importance of bad and good things that can influence their child. 

Not all techniques are equally applicable to children and parents may find it hard to implement such strategies. However, determining a suitable and manageable behavioral plan can contribute to effective parenting.

 

How Parents Should Build A Relationship With Their Children

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A parent and child relationship impacts a family. It is where the functions of parenting style affect children’s emotions as well as their mental health. Among younger kids, physical interaction encourages a quality relationship. However, too much connection can become over controlling. Therefore, parents should know the fundamentals of parent-child interaction such as feelings, behavior, and expectation to be able to get a healthy overall child development.

Get Involved With Your Kid’s Interest –Parental relationship can build a stronger bond when parents try to connect with their kids. It is where they can continuously support their children and encourage their learning progress. A strong bond allows parents to become more approachable and easy to get along with. It will allow children to feel more comfortable with themselves as well as with other people and they will eventually build trust and boost their self-esteem. 

Value Your Kids’ Emotional Feelings – Parents should learn more about their kids’ emotional struggle. It is their sole obligation to make their child emotionally safe and secure. They need to keep them healthy in both mental and psychological aspects as well. They should consider that a small issue for adults can become a big deal for kids, so they have to be careful in putting the right words to convey in a conversation. They should also strengthen their parental listening skills.

Have Frequent Chats – Asking your kids about their day and listening to their stories is a great way to encourage communication. Sharing daily experiences and laughing about jokes will open up a bond with both parents and children. An exchange of spontaneous conversations can build confidence in expressing their thoughts, which is very beneficial to mental growth.

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Be In The Moment – You can quickly get caught up in the responsibilities that you often forget to spare some time with your kids. However, it will actively build a lasting relationship when you tend to make it a priority. You can do fun things together regularly or have one-on-one chats five minutes before going to bed. You should take advantage of the moment and spend quality time once in a while to let your kids know that daily duties are not a valid reason to make them the least of your priorities. 

Trust Their Efforts – Children will often make decisions based on what they understand so parents should consider positively trusting their hard work. Though mistakes are unavoidable, you have to let them know that it is essential to show courage by accepting their weakness. Parents should become the first persons that kids should feel confident to confide in an emotional dilemma. Let children have the chance to make their own decisions based on their abilities and maturity level.

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Building a healthy relationship with your children is often mistaken as a complicated task. But when you realize that all you need is a quality family time, teamwork, appreciation, and communication, your relationship with your kids can grow healthier and more stable over time. You have to make an effort in creating an environment full of love and care that will benefit your child’s emotional and mental health. 

Facts about Parent-Child Interaction Therapy

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy or PCIT is a type of intermediation designed for children, which focuses on fixing and decreasing child behavior problems such as defiance or aggression. It increases positive parent behavior while improving the quality of family (parent-child) relationship.

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Adults learn and practice techniques, which relate to children’s behavioral and emotional problems, communication issues, mental disorders, and developmental handicaps. The process involves a combination of play therapy and behavioral therapy for children and their parents, guardians or caregivers.

How PCIT Works

The effects of PCIT aim to build a better relationship between a child and his/her parents, guardian or caregiver.  The child may or will show behavior improvements by practicing new ways of communication that are encouraging and reassuring thus reducing the negative behavior. Consistency in practice will also improve confidence while lowering anger levels and aggression. It promotes individuality improvement and interaction for the parent and child.  

It is advisable for children with:

  • Problem behaviors in school or daycare
  • Inability to comply with directions or discipline
  • Frequent Temper Tantrums
  • Aggression toward others including family, guardians, and caregivers
  • Defiance
  • Swearing
  • Negative Attitude

CDI and PDI

The techniques below are ways to execute PCIT

CDI or Child-Directed Interaction: Parents will learn guidelines on how to interact with their child. The parent-child relationship establishment will be more extensive and authoritative as they praise, imitate, and reflect on the child.

PDI or Parent-Directed Interaction: This is where parents learn how to gain authority over their child, direct specific instructions, and how to bestow consequences with consistency. It is precisely appropriate for scenarios where the child is disruptive or unruly.

Expectation

Parents, guardians, or caregivers interact and play with the children in a room. The therapist will observe and coach from a one-way mirrored adjacent room. The parent and therapist will communicate through an earphone for the instruction of guidance and training. Parents, guardians, and caregivers are to praise the positive behavior with enthusiasm. They are also discouraged from using negative language while ignoring any harmless negative behavior. They also learn skills such as demonstrating approval by imitating the child’s appropriate actions, increasing the child’s vocabulary by describing what he/she is doing out loud, and child language reflection to help better communication.

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When is it Used?

PCIT is appropriate and effective for children from ages 2 to 7 who exhibit disruptive and unruly behavior, who experienced trauma, ADHD, ODD, intellectual disability, and those who are on the autism disorder spectrum. PCIT and other programs which utilize PCIT are evidence-proven interventions for child abuse prevention and neglect. They have efficiently decreased children’s risk of antisocial and criminal behavior while transitioning to adulthood.

Efficacy

Scientific and medical research proves that PCIT can improve the conduct-disorder behavior of children in preschool age. After the therapy, the child’s behavior will be within the natural range. Additionally, there are observable changes in parent ratings. It is the same for observational evaluation of children’s behavior problems. Research has also shown essential and significant changes in the parent-children play situations’ style of interaction. If you want to know more about parent-child interaction, you can check out BetterHelp for information. 

Basic Things You Need To Know About Parent-Child Interaction Therapy

When a child is exhibiting behavioral issues, one of the best ways to help him is through therapy. While the natural therapy works for most kids, it is sometimes not enough. If that’s the case, you need to turn to something that is more effective. This is where the Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) comes into picture. Don’t you know what this is? Then don’t worry, because this is what we’re going to discuss today.

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Written below are some of the most important things you need to know about Parent-Child Interaction Therapy. We will tell you what it is, who is it for, how it works, and what are the things you need to look for in a PCIT therapist. If you find this interesting, then you can continue reading. 

What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy?

It is a particular kind of therapy that can help improve the relationship between a parent and a child through interaction. It is usually done to help kids who are suffering from trauma, autism, or child behavioral conditions such as Conduct Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Research also showed that PCIT could help decrease the child’s chances of being antisocial or criminal later in life. 

When Is It Used? 

While there’s no recommended age for adults, the Parent-Child Interaction Therapy is specially developed for kids between 2 and 7 years old. 

How Does It Work? 

PCIT starts with the parent and the child placed in one room, while the therapist is in an adjacent one divided by a one-way mirror (think of those rooms where police investigators question possible crime suspects and persons of interest). The therapist will then observe and coach the parent through wireless earphones on how to properly play or interact with the child.

They will learn useful techniques, skills, and tips that can improve their relationship with the kid.  After the interaction exercise, the therapist will then tell the parent what he observed and come up with possible reasons as to why the child is acting poorly.  They will also inform the parent how he is part of the problem and what must be done to correct that. After relaying all of this information, the parent will then have to implement the things he learned and see if the child responds or interacts in a better way.

Source: westchesterparentingcenter.com

What To Look For In A Parent-Child Interaction Therapist

One of the first things you should look for is their PCIT International certification because it is a proof that they completed all the necessary training to become an efficient therapist in this field.  In addition to that, you also need to make sure that they have attained a master’s degree and acquired enough experience. But most important of all, find someone that you and your child will feel comfortable with. 

These are some of the information about Parent-Child Interaction Therapy. Now that we’ve discussed with you the basics, why not do your research and see if it’s something that you and your kid can try out?