Being a part of a close-knit family may seem envy-worthy for people who did not grow up connected with their parents, siblings, and other relatives. After all, the idea is that if someone picks a fight with you, you won’t have to face your enemy alone. The entire brood will back you up in any way possible. In case you don’t feel okay, or something is bothering you, your folks will sense it before you even tell them.
Despite the realness of that, though, it is no secret that some children in a family become distant as they get older. Their friends cannot understand the reason, especially if the mom and dad appear to be genuinely sweet and caring. The parents, of course, do not see the logic behind it either and assume that their son or daughter is merely acting up.
Based on experience, yours honestly can say that some people fail to realize that their words or actions tend to bully their kids, albeit unintentionally. Since children are not supposed to talk back – and everyone only tells them to watch out for bullies at school – they bottle up their hurt emotions and end up distancing themselves from their parents.
Now, whether you know that you are bullying your kids or not, you ought to understand the different ways to avoid doing so.
- Stop Teasing The Children About Their Weight All The Time
The first thing that messes up with the youngsters’ brain is the thought that they are fat and that it’s something to be laughed at. Comments like “You are the heaviest in your class” or “Your tummy is bulging” can inflict pain to them emotionally. Over time, that may feel worse than hearing it from their peers and other folks.
Considering you are genuinely concerned about their weight, you should talk to the kids about dieting and exercising. Making fun of them in hopes of it triggering their desire to lose extra pounds will not be fruitful. It may even cause them to develop depression or eating disorder upon thinking that their family members always laugh about their weight issues.
- Do Not Compare Your Kids To Each Other
It is not acceptable to make comparisons between your children and often mention who’s better at what activity. Some say, “Why can’t you be smart like your sister?” or “You are not as handsome as your brother.” Though such words may sometimes come out of frustrations, some parents assume that they are merely stating a fact.
Truth or not, however, moms and dads are in no position to compare their kids to each other. One may think that their parents favor the other, and so they don’t feel like it’s necessary for them to return to the family home once they become adults. That is what causes rivalry to form between the youngsters, which can later make them drift apart permanently.
- Avoid Forcing The Children To Get Straight As
Another issue with perfectionist parents is that they push the kids to excel in academics. Their driving force may be the reality that they used to get top marks themselves back then or their grades were below satisfactory, so they don’t want their children to experience that too.
The thing is, your offspring is their own person. It is unideal to force them to be like you or to do what you were unable to do. After all, what if the talents of your child lie beyond the four corners of their classroom? What if, after years of putting up with your pushing until the 12th grade, they ditch university since they feel tired of studying already?
In case you don’t stop doing that, you might jeopardize the children’s future even further.
- Try Not To Overshow Tough Love
Whenever kids toe the line, it seems okay to take away their toys for a while or keep them from playing outside. Slapping a child’s hand lightly is quite acceptable at times as well, considering they touched something dangerous. However, you should never strike them anywhere else, no matter how angry or frustrated you may be.
The reason is that corporal punishments tend to mess up children badly, according to a few studies. Those who always get punished end up either developing a mental health illness or growing apart from their parents who inflicted pain on them. They are also prone to becoming bullies to their own kids too, thinking that that’s all right since their mom and dad did that before.
There are a million ways to show your love for your children, but it only takes one repeating act to alter their perspective in life. Be careful of everything you say; think before doing or mentioning something in front of your kids. Otherwise, you might be bullying them already without knowing it.