parent-child interaction therapy

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The consequences of the choices we make in life become heavier once we become parents. The habits we keep will affect not only us but also our children. The things we do around our kids may have lasting, adverse effects on them.

For the sake of our young ones, let’s look at some harmful practices we need to quit.

Destructive Conflict

Many parents will make the mistake of vowing not to fight in front of their kids. The reality is that it’s going to happen eventually. While this may sound like something that can harm your kids, it’s not actually all that bad. Arguments become harmful if you deal with conflict destructively.

We tend to picture parents fighting as two people yelling, throwing things, and lashing out at each other. This hostility can cause children to become troubled, anxious, and stressed. They tend to become insecure and withdrawn. For others, they act out and develop problems at school as well as at home.

Conversely, a better approach is to have a mature conversation where you discuss things like adults. Your children will also go through conflict throughout their life. They will need to learn how to deal with these situations appropriately and effectively.

Overreacting

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Have you ever wondered why kids don’t tell you things or why teenagers have to lie about what they do? Often, this stems from a fear of how their parents will react. Perhaps mom and dad found out about that broken plate and went ballistic.

It’s precisely this outburst of emotions that pushes them away from us. Overreacting to our children’s mistakes can make them fearful of us. Instead of coming to us for help or to open up, they’ll try their best to cover things up. This practice will only create kids who act out and are quick to become upset.

Before you get angry over spilled milk or a broken vase, get down and help your kid clean up. Teach them how to be more cautious, but don’t blow up over small things such as this. Otherwise, they’ll be too scared of making mistakes.

Hiding Your Emotions

While we mentioned that it could be harmful to overreact, that doesn’t mean that you should mask your emotions either. While you shouldn’t yell at your kids over small things, it doesn’t help to lie about how you feel. This practice will make them confused about their feelings. 

Show your kids your sentiments and how to deal with them. If you experience loss, teach them that it’s okay to be sad. Being positive all the time can be harmful because it sets an unreasonable standard of happiness. It is not the only emotion we should be allowed to feel.

Trying To Solve Everything

As hard as it is to resist, parents have to stop trying to be superheroes to their kids. We shouldn’t try to solve everything for our children.

This practice will do nothing but teach them that we will deal with every road bump they face. As much as we want to be the people they run to for help, they may become too dependent.

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Instead of swooping in all the time, teach them how to deal with problems and conflict. It’s another one of those situations where the “teach a man how to fish” saying comes into play.

The things we do around our kids will leave lasting effects on them until their adulthood. As parents, we have to do our best, even if it means breaking bad habits that are hard to quit. The sooner we kick these types of behavior to the curb, the better mothers and fathers we can be.

 

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In the middle of the school year, teachers usually invite parents to discuss their child’s accomplishments and areas of improvement. These are called parent–teacher conferences, and they typically happen after releasing the report cards of the students. No matter how important these initiatives are, some parents do not attend these conferences because they do not know what to do in these situations.

In here, we will provide you with tips on how to make the most out of these meetings.

Talk To Your Child Beforehand

Before you attend the parent–teacher conference, you have to set an open discussion with your child to talk about the problems they are experiencing in school. This exercise will allow you to see your child’s perspective to represent his or her interest in the meeting better. Your conversation can also be an avenue for you to set academic and co-curricular goals with your child come the next school days.

Be Prepared

Do not entirely rely on the things the teacher will present to you. You also have to investigate on your own by checking their grades and performance beforehand. You can do this by reading the comments on the report card or viewing the school’s student portal. Make sure to research and study what the academic benchmarks should be depending on your child’s school level and cross-check this with what they’re doing in school.

In addition, come up with a list of questions you can ask the teacher so that you can have a better picture of your child’s performance. Some of these include the following:

• Does my child submit his homework on time?
• Does my child actively participate in all of his classes?
• What are my kid’s weakest and strongest subjects? How do you say so?
• Is my child happy at school, or do you feel that some issues are bothering him?
• What can I do to improve his school performance?
• Does my child get along with his classmates?

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Treat The Teacher As A Confidant Instead Of An Opponent

Some parents tend to be defensive when teachers bring out concerns about their child. They display this kind of combative mindset because they passionately want their children to achieve their goal. But to help your child, you have to stop treating the teacher as an opponent. Instead, consider him or her as a partner. Come up with ways which can help your child get the best education opportunities for his growth and success.

Execute The Action Plan

Make sure to immediately implement the action plan you agreed on with the teacher. Discuss this with your child and make him or her understand its importance. You also have to set up key performance indicators and track his or her progress through this.

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Communicate With The Teacher

Your partnership does not stop after the parent–teacher conference. Make sure that you still stay in touch with the teacher throughout the school year and regularly schedule checkup sessions where you can discuss the student’s growth.

Not all parent–teacher meetings are structured the same way. However, you can apply all of the points listed above to every conference no matter what your child’s grade level or age is.

 

Every kid comes with their personality. Each of them has their ways of approaching people and situations. Family therapists encourage parents to study their children’s temperaments because it describes the child’s adaptability and emotional style. Parents can adapt their parenting style to their child’s personalities.

Why Parents Should Learn About Temperaments

Parents will be able to strategize the best way to connect and handle their children. It also gives them a firmer grasp of their kid’s personality, and parents will appreciate the uniqueness of their child.

With a more in-depth understanding, they can better deal with their child’s skills and limitations. Parents who are aware of their child’s temperament are more prepared in anticipating problems that might trigger the child. They can help the child by guiding and readying him for the challenge he or she will face.

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Temperament

Temperament is a group of innate traits that influence how people approach the world. It is a necessary tool in the development of a child’s personality. It also dictates how children will learn and absorb the world around him. Temperaments do not dictate whether a child is “good” or “bad.” Instead, it influences the child’s perception of whether his actions are “good” or “bad.”

In identifying, your child’s temperament, we look at the nine significant characteristics that signify whether a child is difficult to raise.

Activity Level

This identifier is the level of physical activity and restlessness demonstrated in the child’s behavior based on his daily activities. You may observe if the child can settle down with a quiet, sedentary game. If he is more inclined to play sports, then he has high activity levels. Highly active children can grow their careers in fast-paced environments.

Regularity

Regularity or rhythmicity describes the patterns in the child’s physical functions. This trait is evident in the child’s appetite, sleep patterns, and even bowel movements. For example, parents can anticipate when their child gets hungry throughout the day. Children who do not have predictable habits can grow and thrive in careers with unusual working hours.

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Approach And Withdrawal

This trait determines a child’s initial response to new stimuli. The child may either react rapidly or hesitantly to unfamiliar situations, new people, places, or food. Children who are cautious of strange scenarios tend to think before they act.

Adaptability

Adaptability focuses on how the child responds to changes in routine or transitions. This characteristic enlightens parents on the degree of ease or difficulty with which a child adjusts to new situations. It also involves the child’s ability to modify their reaction towards the change. Children who take a longer time to become comfortable in new cases grow to be less influenced by peer pressure.

Intensity

The child either responds positively or negatively to certain situations. Intensity is the level of energy the child reacts to events. For example, parents can observe when their child gets upset. Does the child tend to get quiet, or do they respond dramatically? More intense children may be gifted with a talent for the arts and may be more in touch with their emotions.

Mood

The degree of pleasantness or unfriendliness observed in a child’s words or behaviors determines their mood. For example, children can view opportunities as half full or half empty. Parents can decide if their child is inclined to look at life more negatively or more positively. Thoughtful children tend to assess situations analytically and carefully.

Attention Span

Attention span or persistence is the ability of the child to concentrate on a task with or without distraction. Children with longer attention spans can focus more compared to those who cannot focus on the task at hand.

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Distractibility

Distractibility is the ease with which a child can concentrate and pay attention when they are not particularly interested in the activity. Some children are easily distracted from a task by environmental stimuli, whether visual or auditory. A child with high distractibility is favorable as the child’s attention can be diverted from unwanted behavior. In a negative light, high distractibility prevents a child from accomplishing assignments.

Sensory Threshold

The sensory threshold is the child’s sensitivity to stimuli like sound, taste, touch, or temperature. It determines what amount of physical stimulation is needed for a child to respond. Some children react with the slightest stimulation, while others need intense amounts of stimuli.

Temperaments help parents get a glimpse of their kid’s personality, triggers, strengths, and weaknesses. Parents can capitalize on these dispositions by guiding and teaching them how to deal with adversities and challenges properly. They can steer kids in the right direction and become people who can adjust to the environment surrounding them.